Sometimes reconnecting isn't a good thing... - Page 4

Imadickens · ‎06-15-2016

Wow! I went thru the exact same thing! I thought we were like sisters for over 20 years. Her husband saw me as all standing in the way of his getting the family fortune! Actually, there WAS no fortune. All I wanted was family! We, too, live at opposite ends of country. After he found out there was no money, he dumped her and her kids. I tried to rekindle until I spent time with all of them! Time had changed them (maybe out of necessity) into people I didn't know or like! I tried to make a go of it for old times sake, but I just couldn't. Too much time and too much hurt prevented us from picking up where we left off. I had invited her whole family for the summer. Once I saw it wouldn't work, I simply told her I wasn't up to it right now and we'd talk. I think she got it as I rarely hear from her. It makes me sad, we once were very close, but it is what it is. Good luck!

Never underestimate the power of kindness.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

'Trouble is' ......... Some people actually ASK for an explanation or for the reason why we can't attend. So, in those cases, it's a good idea to have a brief explanation tucked away in our minds, just in case. I could never tell a person that I plain dislike her/him. Mainly because I really don't 'dislike' anyone. If they are rude to me, I always have considered it to be a bit of jealousy or envy that they simply cannot control. Mainly because someone many, many years ago once told me that jealousy-rudeness-criticism should be considered a compliment, but I couldn't think of it that way. I just think of it as an uncontrollable flaw within themselves and they just have to criticize in order to vent their deep feelings of envy. It must be quite a rut for them to be trapped into, unable to be polite. ...... Well, I don't exactly know how I ended up with this little speech....lol.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@ROMARY wrote:
'Trouble is' ......... Some people actually ASK for an explanation or for the reason why we can't attend. So, in those cases, it's a good idea to have a brief explanation tucked away in our minds, just in case. I could never tell a person that I plain dislike her/him. Mainly because I really don't 'dislike' anyone. If they are rude to me, I always have considered it to be a bit of jealousy or envy that they simply cannot control. Mainly because someone many, many years ago once told me that jealousy-rudeness-criticism should be considered a compliment, but I couldn't think of it that way. I just think of it as an uncontrollable flaw within themselves and they just have to criticize in order to vent their deep feelings of envy. It must be quite a rut for them to be trapped into, unable to be polite. ...... Well, I don't exactly know how I ended up with this little speech....lol.

Even if she asks for an explanation,the OP Is not required to give one. Being vague is the best way to go, IMO. If it was a good friend, that would be different. But this is someone the OP wants to cut out of her life, so all she has to do is say that she won't be able to go. And then repeat that if pushed. Then change the subject or end the conversation. Over and done.

I would never tell someone that I disliked them either. Nothing good would come from that, and it's unnecessarily hurtful.