Among Friends

[NicksmomESQ]

 I've been there & done that several times!! Whether it's family or friends my experience was that you can't go home again!! People change & therefore the way they interact with & treat others change. Run like hell & don't look back!! Good luck!!

[chrystaltree]

     You had a relationship as kids but that died a long time ago.  As for vacation, just thank her for her kind offer and explain that you have other plans.   Limit your conversations with her to general mundane things and keep them short and ease your way out of it.  Honestly, I don't understand why people resurrect old relationships from their pasts. 

[KentuckyWoman]

Well, that is a shame.  I know you must be disappointed but I would just keep distancing  myself from her and hopefully she will get the picture.  No one likes to be around bossy, overbearing people.  Good luck to you.

[CelticCrafter]

I would tell her you aren't able to make it this summer, no other explanation and then let the relationship dwindle and die.

Don't let her pull you into the family drama.

[ROMARY]

I would 'back out' now.  By the end of this week, at the latest.  Give whatever polite excuse you can think of.  I'd just tell her via email that there have been a change of plans in your family regarding being away from home this Summer.  Make it simple and to the point.  And then immediately write a long update about the weather, etc.  Lots of good luck to all concerned.

[151949]

My Dad was one of 16 children so I have many many many many first cousins. However, most of them are only FB friends - we have a small core of us who remain close & connected but some we only hear from for the gift grab events. My cousins are some of my closest friends - certainly the oldest friends. But no one can be BFF with 52 cousins.

[pattypeep]

@Nataliesgramma I would tell her right away that you won't be able to make it this summer. You don't need a reason. I'm always scolding my dh for "making up" an excuse why he can't do this or that. I tell him to say "I'm sorry we won't be able to attend" and let it go at that. No need to fib. I add that a polite person doesn't say "well, why not?" After getting out of the summer deal, back out slowly or she'll be coming to visit you next.

[sissel]

I live in the Southwest, family & friends live on East Coast. I would love some of them to visit but they hate to fly but the ones that fly are using us. They call me and say Oh we got tickets for this date and pick us up at the airport. Then they come and the next morning they say What are we going today, I didn't come here to hang around. Oh add in they eat certain foods & we have to make sure everything is to there liking. Where is the hairdresser? I need my hair & nails done. So once got a call & that week was busy for us & told them they couldn't come that week, til this day they haven't spoken to me and that was 3yrs ago. To be honest I am just so happy. Some stay 14days with us. If we need to fly back for a funeral, not one offer to pick us up or offer us to stay at their house. Wish they all would not bother with us.

[Kachina624]

I've reconnected with my best high school friend and a good friend from college.  In both cases we could barely find enough about which to talk during a short phone conversation.   One of them has never work, has about 6 kids, and was totally a housewife.  The other, a Pennsylvania German girl and language major, married a German and is so immersed in their culture, she scarcely knows she's in the USA. 

[Azcowgirl]

Then there's the ones who start inviting themselves to your guest house more and more frequently since it solves their problem of having to pay to leave their dog at a kennel, and having to get a hotel reservation. And, they always ask" so what are we doing today?" ):