Reply
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,395
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

@HappyDaze...What I meant and I guess did not say very well, was don't stand in the house and announce you are leaving with the children.....I would be afraid for the well being of everyone.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,350
Registered: ‎05-15-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

[ Edited ]

@magpie4, I am so sorry you are going through this; what a terrible situation to be in.

 

You will stay angry for a long time until you get out and start your life free of them.  Good luck to you.

 

Gosh, it just dawned on me that your story could have been mine 40 yrs. ago, but I chose another man to marry and I made the right decision.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,506
Registered: ‎07-29-2014

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

[ Edited ]

Good luck, and prayers for the kids especially.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,283
Registered: ‎07-21-2011

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

@magpie4,  Sit down with your husband and tell him she has to go out on her own.  No mother or mother-in-law should come between your marriage.  If he is siding with his mother then do what you need to do to keep your sanity.   Cat Very Happy

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,841
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant


Kardi wrote:

Don't know what ethnicity your husband is but I can tell you that his culture may be a huge factor here even if you see him as "Americanized".  My daughter was married to a man from a South American country and also had 2 children from him before she decided it just wasn't worth it.  You'll never change those kinds of deeply ingrained cultural beliefs.  Good luck with whatever you choose.


 

 

As an addition to this - if you've already decided you want out, don't love him any more, period, there's no point, BUT if you think you'd like to try and save your marriage - sounds like lot of Cultural going on. They may come from one of the countries where the MIL rules the roost (including hubby) and you, the DIL, are treated like ****. And MIL is behaving as normal in their country, and so is hubby, and they don't get what your problem is. In such cultures there's no question of MIL "contributing" anything except child care. They wouldn't understand there IS a problem.

 

If you still love your husband, and you think he's Americanized enough to "get it", you could ALL go to a counselor who knows the culture and have a loooong conversation to clear the air & everyone make some compromises. 

 

If you know that won't work, just get the heck out - but as someone else said, beware of DH, MIL and brother disappearing with your kids.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Valued Contributor
Posts: 720
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

[ Edited ]

Really good website to find a good lawyer:

 

www.avvo.com

 

Can put in your state, your city/town, what kind of lawyer you are looking for, and a whole list comes up.

 

From there, you can read their bio's, read reviews, see what their strengths are, etc, etc.

 

Take a look, but try to look on a computer that is outside your home. You don't want divorce research to show up in your computer history.

 

Like others have said, keep your intentions and thoughts from EVERYONE, including people you think are friends. You have to make sure you stay safe, and the best way to do that is get all your ducks lined up covertly.

 

 

Contributor
Posts: 32
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

Thanks for the link.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,321
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant


Love Roses wrote:

Tyak wrote:

missy1 wrote:

The op said she opened a new account. But then she said he only gives me 100/week?

 

Sounds like he got the American Dream given to him. He got his degree, a house and brought his mom here. (lives there for  free)

 

 


If this thread is legit, it sure should give one more to think about BEFORE they marry.


I agree with Tyak. 

I have to wonder how a woman with an advanced degree doesn't know how to tackle this situation.


When "love" walks in the door, common sense can fly out the window. An advanced degree may have 1000% NOTHING to do with falling in love.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,321
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant


HappyDaze wrote:

I don't get the hassled at work part? How/why are you getting hassled? You need to focus on keeping your job and doing it well and not making waves there since it is the only thing that seems to be keeping you and your family afloat. If you think all that you are going through is hard, imagine doing so without the means to get out of it and that is what will happen if you also lose your job. 

 

There are too many holes in the story for me to comment on further. I think there is alot of vital information being left out. 


I'm confused. Are you assuming OP that teachers don't get hastled at work?

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,454
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

[ Edited ]

violann wrote:

HappyDaze wrote:

I don't get the hassled at work part? How/why are you getting hassled? You need to focus on keeping your job and doing it well and not making waves there since it is the only thing that seems to be keeping you and your family afloat. If you think all that you are going through is hard, imagine doing so without the means to get out of it and that is what will happen if you also lose your job. 

 

There are too many holes in the story for me to comment on further. I think there is alot of vital information being left out. 


I'm confused. Are you assuming OP that teachers don't get hastled at work?


I don't think the OP ever confirmed that she was a teacher.  SHe just said she worked for the Dept of Ed.

Let's Stay in Touch

* *You're signing up to receive QVC promotional email.
Connect with Us

The scoop on everything Q, from helpful tips to interesting tidbits, questions, answers, and more.

QVC is not responsible for the availability, content, security, policies, or practices of the above referenced third-party linked sites, nor liable for statements, claims, opinions, or representations contained therein. QVC's Privacy Statement does not apply to these third-party web sites.

© 1995–2016 QVC, Inc. All rights reserved. Trademark Notice

Desktop View Mobile View