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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,803
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

If you think he will go back to his original country and take  the  kids, I would  tell the attorney about it.

 

I think that happens a lot, and  sometimes there is no way you can get the children back

 

 

Good luck

Super Contributor
Posts: 375
Registered: ‎05-20-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

Don't know what ethnicity your husband is but I can tell you that his culture may be a huge factor here even if you see him as "Americanized".  My daughter was married to a man from a South American country and also had 2 children from him before she decided it just wasn't worth it.  You'll never change those kinds of deeply ingrained cultural beliefs.  Good luck with whatever you choose.

Contributor
Posts: 32
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

But how do you know if someone is a "good" lawyer. I would like to keep the house if doable.

Contributor
Posts: 32
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

Funny, he is Central American and he has little to no desire to go back.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,828
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

@magpie4  How is that a "joint" account if he is only contributing $100/wk to it?

Laura loves cats!
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,828
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant


magpie4 wrote:

But how do you know if someone is a "good" lawyer. I would like to keep the house if doable.


@magpie4  The laws vary from state to state (why you need an attorney pronto), but here in Ohio the "community" property is generally split 50/50.  You may have to buy out his half of the house if you want to stay there.  Prepare yourself for a battle........this could be a tough one.

Laura loves cats!
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,286
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant


magpie4 wrote:

He makes me give the money in our joint account in our joint account and gives me 100 a week.


 

What happens if you don't give him all the money?  Also, is he paying the mortgage and all of the bills, utilities, food?  $400 a month is plenty for fun money, but if it's for food then no.

But I don't like the "he makes me" part. Was it a suggestion on his part so he could take care of the finances?  Usually one person does handle all of the finances so that wouldn't be unheard of to have the money in one account.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,803
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant


magpie4 wrote:

Funny, he is Central American and he has little to no desire to go back.


Never underestimate what spite will make some people do.  Protect yourself and your children

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,899
Registered: ‎05-22-2012

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant


magpie4 wrote:

He makes me give the money in our joint account in our joint account and gives me 100 a week.


 

I don't know how he's making you do that, but I'd have left over that. If he's making you do anything and you didn't come to that decision as a couple, that's a huge problem.

 

Giving a spouse a monthly allowance is a form of financial abuse. 

 

I'd see a laywer and get out ASAP. If you do make more money than he does, you may have to pay him alimony, so make sure you explain all that to the lawyer, too.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,988
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

@magpie4  It seems to me that you are very unhappy with your marriage and there isn't any hope left for repair.You need to start over.I think you got a lot of great advice.

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