My son has to do jail time - Page 3

2blonde · ‎03-10-2010

@bootsanne wrote:
I'm from Pa. and know many, many people who have had DUIs. My husband's nephew has had at least 4 and never did jail time. His last one resulted in a 2 year loss of driving privileges. I know another man who lost his driving for life but I know of nobody who got jail time on his first offense. I also worked for over 30 years in the liquor industry and I saw on a daily basis the result of alcohol abuse. I know you are distressed over your son doing jail time, but driving under the influence IMO is the same as attemped manslaughter. Laws should be much stricter. Sorry if I've hurt your feelings, but if he got jail time on his first offense, I think that there is more to this story.

Thank you for your post. I knew that no one gets 11 months in jail for a first time DUI, but I needed someone from PA to verify that! (I'm in Ohio.) Obviously, there is more to this story than what we are hearing. Perhaps this young man has been hiding previous offenses from his mother.

Laura loves cats!

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

How did you cope the last time he was in jail? You've been through it all before and you know exactly what to expect. You're a mother and I understand your pain but he isn't a "good kid". If he's over 18, he's a young man and not a kid. He's man going down the wrong path in life and obviously, you can do anything about that. I know in my state there are programs for young offenders in the jails. GED programs, anger issue programs, AA and assistance in getting jobs when they get out. If you have those things in your state, he needs to take advantage of them and be a better person. If not, he's going to have to find an AA program and a job and go on with his life. You can help but you cannot do it for him.

hopeandfaith · ‎01-17-2017

I don't know why everyone is questening his sentence. It is what it is. He got argumentive with the police officer, I believe, so the sentence was heavier.

I did not want to get into why/what/how of the sentence.

This post is about support for ME. I am worried about him.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@2blonde wrote:
@bootsanne
@bootsanne wrote:
I'm from Pa. and know many, many people who have had DUIs. My husband's nephew has had at least 4 and never did jail time. His last one resulted in a 2 year loss of driving privileges. I know another man who lost his driving for life but I know of nobody who got jail time on his first offense. I also worked for over 30 years in the liquor industry and I saw on a daily basis the result of alcohol abuse. I know you are distressed over your son doing jail time, but driving under the influence IMO is the same as attemped manslaughter. Laws should be much stricter. Sorry if I've hurt your feelings, but if he got jail time on his first offense, I think that there is more to this story.
Thank you for your post. I knew that no one gets 11 months in jail for a first time DUI, but I needed someone from PA to verify that! (I'm in Ohio.) Obviously, there is more to this story than what we are hearing. Perhaps this young man has been hiding previous offenses from his mother.

This has to be his third offense or more to get eleven months. This young man is lucky to be alive and not guilty of maiming or killing someone.

Hopefully, this will be a wake up call for him. He will be okay in prison. Prison will be easier on his mother than his burial.

He is still young and needs help. There is an alcohol problem here. I hope he gets it.

it is apparent he has anger issues too. I suspect that's why he is in prison.

I suggest the OP gets help from Al-Anon so she can understand how to cope.

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

Hopeandfaith,

I am praying for you.

I don't know if there is anything that hurts worse than a mothers heartbreak. Even when the child has brought it upon themselves. Try to take care of yourself. I have started seeing a counselor to help me cope, personally. She told me this would be a good time to do something for myself, I would advise you the same. She suggested a massage.

I'm not really into that. I did go out to a nice restaurant, it made me feel better. Do whatever you can do to lift your spirits.

Right now, though just take one day at a time, a minute at time. Find a few people who you can trust and maybe have some one on one time with them. There is something about a hug from a friend and someone telling me it will all be ok.

I wonder if AA would help your son...I have no idea about AA but it seems like it might be a good idea.

shy bobcat · ‎04-24-2010

Be grateful that your son is in jail for DUI and not for killing someone due to DUI. Think of the stress with that situation. Yes, you are stressed but your son needs a big wakeup call. See your doctor if your stress is causing you great difficulty. Change the way you think and change the way you feel. I realize this may seem very harsh but it's time for tough love.

violann · ‎03-10-2010

Anyone else notice that OP said nothing about the number or type of offenses leading to this situation?

She also has not called him her baby boy, nor excused him because of his age. I refer Tommy "kids" as "kids" and both are over21.

@hopeandfaith, take one day at a time, maintain communication, and be matter of fact in dealings with your son. Take good care of yourself. Let him do his best in what is confronting him.

Try to maintain a neutral, non-critical but non-enabling or overly sympathetic perspective on his situation.

We don't know "the whole story". Why should we?

2blonde · ‎03-10-2010

So then, resisting arrest was added to the offense. That helps to understand. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but as others have said, you need to let go of it as being your problem. It's done, and you can't change it, and it's not your fault. Your son is old enough to be responsible for his own anger issues........you need to step back and let him take responsibility for his actions.

Laura loves cats!

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@hopeandfaith wrote:

I don't know why everyone is questening his sentence. It is what it is. He got argumentive with the police officer, I believe, so the sentence was heavier.

I did not want to get into why/what/how of the sentence.

This post is about support for ME. I am worried about him.

@hopeandfaithLook up Alanon and start going to meetings. The support is wonderful and you will learn coping mechanisms. My relative went to jail also...you'll find many participants with similar situations. Alanon will teach you to put the emphasis on YOU and not the alcoholic. Good luck..