Re: My daughter is hearbroken

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

It is best that he told her how he felt, better than keeping her in the dark about his feelings.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

I am so very sorry.

Just be there for her and give her support. Your daughter will definately need some time to morn this relationship and work through this.

Hopefully, she and some friends can do fun things this summer.

Maybe a course in the fall to stay active and be where people her age are.

That seems a main challenge when returning from a relationship. Making new connections can be challenging.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure in trying to reassure her you did say, better now he got the cold feet, than after all else was said and done. I'm not going to preach, I just wish her the best and know time will help. Really, that's all there is to do as I see it. Hopefully, in time he will come around, if she still wants him by then, or someone new and someone she can really relate to and that she deserves. Best wishes.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Yes, she's heartbroken....now. But good heavens, the girl is only 23 years old and she broke up with a boyfriend. They were dating. That's all it was. It wasn't working for him and I have to respect that young man. He handled it well and did the right thing. He did not string her along, he did not make false promises, he did not cheat behind her back. He was honest and ended the relationship. She doesn't know it now but she will later when the real "one" comes along. Sorry, he was not her best friend. He was her boyfriend. To be honest, you aren't doing much to help your girl right now. Rather that crying with her and acting like this is the end of her world, you should be lifting her up helping her to understand that 23 is incredibly young and she's an amazing young woman. Nothing good ever comes from marrying someone who isn't right for you and she's lucky that she was spared that. She should take a little time to deal with her heartbreak but then she should do something to make herself feel good. Get a new hairstyle, buy some new make up and create new look, go shopping, take a vacation with a girlfriend. It doesn't matter what, just something that is fun that will lift her spirts. And then she should get out there are socialize and meet people. Because the guy is "the one" for her is still out there.

lulu2 · ‎03-09-2010

What's that song? Only Love Can Break a Heart (and only love can mend it again)

I am sorry for your daughter's heartbreak. Hopefully she will realize these two were (clearly) not on the same page about their relationship and future.

As a mother I'd rejoice in the fact she learned this before the two of them became any more involved.

At 23 a year seems like a long time to have a relationship. In reality, it's a blip on the screen of life.

beach-mom · ‎03-09-2010

@qvc chick and @ilovefall - I know a little of what you're going through. My DD is a few years older. She was hurt badly once in college and does not trust easily. As moms, we hurt more when our children hurt. No matter what happens to them in life, all we can do is be there for a hug and to reassure them over and over how much they are loved.

As for me, especially after reading some of the other posters' comments here, I know she will find someone who deserves her. It's hard for our twenty-something daughters. A lot of DD's friends are going through the same thing.

Your DD is so young, and so is he. They have been dating only a year. Maybe in a few years they will find their way back to each other. I've seen this happen a lot too. (((HUGS)))

Krimpette · ‎03-09-2010

I do wish that as her mom, you'd be giving her more moral support in a other than doing exactly as she's doing. Your not eating or sleeping doesn't help her much, IMHO. Maybe help her get herself together, rather than wallowing with her. (Sorry.)

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

Is playing in a band a hobby or his job?

Your daughter would probably be supporting them.

Your daughter will get through this.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@StillFuntoShop wrote:
You both have not eaten for days?!? You have to set an example for her as to not to fall apart when bad things happen! Pull yourself together. Support her and grieve together, yes, but as Dr. Phil says, someone needs to be the hero here, to take control. Do fun things together. Encourage her to volunteer, to be with friends, etc.

He doesn't sound like a bad guy to me. He was being honest and he realized that direction isn't for him now. Better than her pinning her expectations on someone who can't be what she wants.

@StillFuntoShop @qvc chick

Look, this is sad, but nobody is dead, so we can't call this a tragedy, by any means.

Clearly, this 24 year old musician in a small band is ok with being a boyfriend, but he's not anywhere near being husband material, in spite of her "having a plan". He also doesn't sound like he's financially stable at this point. There's a lot more to life than marriage and kids for twentysomethings. No one should be "in a hurry" to tie the knot.

I have a feeling that the OP's daughter will think back to "signs" of his skittishness she overlooked. Her daughter needs to grieve and spend time with her friends her own age. Mom should not be the sole source of support here.

sktchy · ‎03-10-2010

Marriage before 30 should be banned.

The changes in maturity, career and the mis-adventures* of 20 somethings needs to occurr before anyone gets married.

My 22 year old Son publicly stated, in front of his 20 year old much loved girlfriend, that he was NEVER getting married. She asked 'what am I doing here ?'.

I do not see them breaking up - they have so much in common and he love love loves his girlfriend ... but at this age they both have a lot of growing to do.

He returned to work today after vacation with GF and their Puppy Son - and he is already texting me how much he misses them.

* - mistakes - BIG AND SMALL