Re: Losing patience with friend's pressure

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Let your no be NO, your right. I bet she's scared some too, and wished for your support to help ease her fear, which I doubt that she's mentioned to you. I'm with you to stay home this year though, I wouldn't feel safe either. Perhaps you can persuade her to skip this year and if things there are better next year, that might be by then, be a possibility. But I sure wouldn't commit to that just now either. That might be the out she needs to skip this year.

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

I think my friend is worried that when she returns home she may hear that she's very ill and may not be able to travel far from home again. I certainly understand that fear because my husband's mild cognitive impairment may well worsen. Nevertheless, my safety concerns are more important right now than what may happen in the future.

When my friend told me she's postponing her health care until after she returns from France, four months away, she told me " Don't tell me not to go." I did not say a word but you can imagine my thoughts. She just went through extensive tests. She lost 30 pounds this year without trying. Frankly I think she's in denial about several things but she has every right to do as she pleases. So do I.

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

Just say no you don't want to go, and that is final

As soon as you start to give a reason for whynot she will come back with a counter to that.

You don't need justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain or point of view

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@KALLIE wrote:
@sophiamarie wrote:
Of all the cities I have been to, Paris is my least favorite. I found the people to be very unfriendly, refused to speak our language and the city itself is dirty. We stayed at the Paris Hilton (nice and clean) walking distance to the Eiffel Tower, etc. The food was good. All in all, I found London, Glasgow, Dublin, etc., far nicer, friendlier, cleaner, etc..... This is JMO and I only speak for myself.

English is the universal language and is spoken everywhere - except in France. Oh, they speak it but they don't want to.....
Totally AGREE.

Obviously, you haven't travelled outside of the US abecause that statement could not be further from the truth. You are more like to find someone who understands or speaks a little English in other countries but you certainly cannot count on that. Often w the average person who thinks they speak English is barely recognizable as English. English is not and never has been a universal language. It' would be nice if that were the case, we would not be as dependant on guides and escorted tours as we are. It is amusing, so American, to think that English is spoke everywhere you go...lol

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

I'm assuming this is a close friend and this trip may be her last. I would put aside my fears and go. What are friends for if not to be there, put themselves second, for each other?

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:
@KALLIE wrote:
@sophiamarie wrote:
Of all the cities I have been to, Paris is my least favorite. I found the people to be very unfriendly, refused to speak our language and the city itself is dirty. We stayed at the Paris Hilton (nice and clean) walking distance to the Eiffel Tower, etc. The food was good. All in all, I found London, Glasgow, Dublin, etc., far nicer, friendlier, cleaner, etc..... This is JMO and I only speak for myself.

English is the universal language and is spoken everywhere - except in France. Oh, they speak it but they don't want to.....
Totally AGREE.
Obviously, you haven't travelled outside of the US abecause that statement could not be further from the truth. You are more like to find someone who understands or speaks a little English in other countries but you certainly cannot count on that. Often w the average person who thinks they speak English is barely recognizable as English. English is not and never has been a universal language. It' would be nice if that were the case, we would not be as dependant on guides and escorted tours as we are. It is amusing, so American, to think that English is spoke everywhere you go...lol

@chrystaltree

You are absolutely correct .... and I find it mind boggling that some people expect everyone else to speak English. It's often referred to as egocentric thinking.

My recommendation .... if you want to visit a foreign country and are just too ****** lazy to learn the basics of other languages beforehand ... visit Canada. lol

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

The firm, aggressive, strident belief that no matter where one is in the world, everyone does or by golly should, speak English, is one of two reasons the term "Ugly American" came into being. The other reason is the assumption that any other culture is inherently inferior to ours and can never "measure up" to ours. Every other culture must see the world through American eyes and acknowledge that superiority. If they don't, then THEY(!) are rude, and "don't like" us. I would suggest they "din't like" Americans who are egotistical, jingoistic narcissists.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

I believe it comes down to, He who pays the fiddler calls the tune.

Americans, travel and spend, have the money to do so, more so than others did in the past. Because of that they expect to be accommodated and spoken with in American English, complain when they are not.

Those countries and the establishments within those countries that want the American dollars, accommodate American rudeness, crassness, and feelings of entitlement. That's why those of us who can, pass for Canadian when we travel.

Gayle2 · ‎07-12-2011

Hello,

Vacations are supposed to be about R&R. For you, this is not R&R....why pay for something you have no interest in doing. What may work for one, doesn't work for another.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

occasionalrain wrote:
I believe it comes down to, He who pays the fiddler calls the tune.
Americans, travel and spend, have the money to do so, more so than others did in the past. Because of that they expect to be accommodated and spoken with in American English, complain when they are not.
Those countries and the establishments within those countries that want the American dollars, accommodate American rudeness, crassness, and feelings of entitlement. That's why those of us who can, pass for Canadian when we travel.

I can totally relate! I remember one time being somewhere in Western Europe and I pretended to be English because I was so embarrassed at some (ugly) Americans in the vicinity.

I'll never understand (well, ok, I kinda do) when some Americans go to other countries and get all bent because somebody doesn't speak English.

Well, truth be known, in most OTHER first world countries many, if not most, of the citizens DO speak multiple languages. But if you are going to be rude to them, they are just going to go with the 'I don't understand' shrug. I known I would. Being nice goes a long way!

But to have an entitled sense that no matter where you go you expect everybody to speak English is just tacky and rude. This is exactly one of the reasons for the term 'Ugly American'. The rest of them are also entitle-related. One I heard way more times than I would ever imagine was 'I'm American. I have rights'. Oh really? Who do you think you are? heh - ballzy!

Sorry - as to the question of the thread - I agree with those who say to just say that 'no' is your final answer. You don't feel comfortable about it (you ARE entitled to that) and you are going to have to decline going. PERIOD.