Granddaughter's birthday party

LdyBugz · ‎03-10-2010

I attended my granddaughter’s 4th birthday party today. It was at an indoor gymnastics facilities and it took me a little over an hour to get there. Of course I managed to get lost trying to find the place as I’m not familiar with the area and my GPS died along the way. Luckily I saw a mail carrier that pointed me in the right direction!

About ten kids attended the party and they had a blast jumping on the trampolines and using all the equipment. It was fun watching them laughing and having a good time! After about an hour and fifteen minutes, they sang Happy Birthday to my granddaughter and had cupcakes. The kids were then given a little thank-you goodie bag and they all departed. My son loaded my granddaughter’s unopened gifts into his car, I was thanked for coming and then we all went our separate ways.

I know this day was about my granddaughter, not me. But I can’t help but feel sad that they didn’t ask me to stop by their house for a little bit so that I could watch my granddaughter open my gifts to her. They live about 15 minutes away from the gymnastics place. I bought her all of the special toys she wanted and I just wish I could have seen her face as she opened the gifts. I treasure those special moments that are so precious. I only get to see her about once a month or so because they are busy, and yes I do know I am luckier than other grandparents that see their families even less.

So with all that said, I have two questions; First, would you feel the same way as I do? Second, do you think kids should open their gifts during their party instead of taking them home?

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

I'm guessing the place may have been rented for just the hour or whatever.

As her grandmother, you should have been invited back to their house.

As to opening gifts, I agree they should be opened in front of the givers of the gifts. The kids are only 4, so their mothers bought them. Throwing them in the car and unwrapping them at home seems tacky to me.

Again, wondering if they were time constrained by the place. No excuse for not inviting YOU back!

Hyacinth

Oueen of everythinh nice · ‎08-27-2013

I feel the same as you. If they were going to take the gifts home, you should have been invited to join them. I believe the gifts should have been opened at the place of the party, with all the children.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

It sounds like a lovely party!

Maybe she didn't open her gifts there because of the time they had to be out. Just a thought. Did she open her gifts at previous parties?

Personally, I would have just grilled hamburgers and had you over for the afternoon. Baked beans, slaw, potato salad made the night before isn't hard.

You didn't mention which parent is your former child, but when you are thanked I would just drop a hint.

We have family "birthday parties". On the nearest Sunday we'll have our son, DIL, and the boys, 8, 4, over for dinner, cake and ice cream, and presents so that's about six a year with ourselves.

The boys do have a party with their friends on the closest Saturday.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

@hyacinth003 wrote:
I'm guessing the place may have been rented for just the hour or whatever.

As her grandmother, you should have been invited back to their house.

As to opening gifts, I agree they should be opened in front of the givers of the gifts. The kids are only 4, so their mothers bought them. Throwing them in the car and unwrapping them at home seems tacky to me.

Again, wondering if they were time constrained by the place. No excuse for not inviting YOU back!

Hyacinth

@hyacinth003,We had almost the same answer at the same time!

on the bay · ‎03-09-2010

Yes~

It would have been so nice for you and the other children as well to see her open the presents. That was what I remember as being the best part of parties!

Even at that young age, I think they enjoy seeing what the recipient gets and watching her open their gift. They learn many things from just this part alone I think-giving,how to show appreciation and thanks, how to be happy in giving instead of feeling envious, what to do when you don't like a gift-I remember these myself from many years ago when I was just five!

And I do think you should have been included in coming back to the house-definitely! Grandmothers are special, not just a party guest.

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

on the bay · ‎03-09-2010

Yes~

It would have been so nice for you and the other children as well to see her open the presents. That was what I remember as being the best part of parties!

Even at that young age, I think they enjoy seeing what the recipient gets and watching her open their gift. They learn many things from just this part alone I think-giving,how to show appreciation and thanks, how to be happy in giving instead of feeling envious, what to do when you don't like a gift-I remember these myself from many years ago when I was just five!

And I do think you should have been included in coming back to the house-definitely! Grandmothers are special, not just a party guest.

But I guess what we may have considered the norm, may not be any longer. Still, just because customs change, doesn't mean people can't still think of others feelings and common thoughtfulness.

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

Susan in California · ‎06-02-2014

@LdyBugz

I agree with others who have said it sounds like your granddaughter had a fun birthday party. And yes, often there are time restraints when parties are held

in party facilities.

While I understand you would have enjoyed going to your granddaughter's home to watch her open presents, sometimes the hectic pace of young parents' lives, ends up looking thoughtless or unfriendly (and hurtful). But I hope you can appreciate what you did experience, and maybe consider how harried the parents may have been.

The next time you see your granddaughter you can ask her to show you what she received.

As a grandmother myself, my husband and I have attended many birthday parties held in a variety of places. The young parents, their friends with children, etc have made the affairs very enjoyable but also hectic in every way.

Because we are house guests as well, our situation is a little different.

So glad you were able to enjoy the party, and it sounds like you are a very loving grandmother.

deedledeedeedle · ‎05-27-2014

Oh @LdyBugz,

I am so sorry you didn't get to see your precious granddaughter open the gifts you hand picked for her, wrapped & then schlepped to the festivities. You obviously put a lot of loving care into your selections. I, too, would feel cheated to miss out on the opening of gifts. It would have been nice if you could have met them at the house and rode over with them since you were unfamiliar with directions. Your son and DIL may have been a bit overwhelmed with hosting 10 four years olds at a play house, per se.

All I know is that celebrations are done way differently than they were even ten years ago. We seem to have lost communication, gratitude, and etiquette skills. When we don't show our little ones the art of gracious living we do them a great disservice IMHO.

dee

ID2 · ‎06-25-2012

For Pete's sake why didn't you ask to come over? Now you are sitting there feeling hurt. This was your son not a complete stranger. If nothing was said I would have said, "How about I stop by to see little Suzie open her gift from me." I found that I'm at the age that I don't hold things in anymore. No more hurt feelings for me. And yes, all the gifts should have been opened at the party.

"Pure Michigan"