Among Friends

[luvdoodles]

I would not go back with him. From the posts I have read this is the second time he did this to you. He doesn't love you or respect you otherwise he would not have done it the first time. He just sounds like a hound dog to me. Move on with your life before he hurts you again. It will happen, he sounds like a creep and you deserve better.

[ID2]

Why the OP would even think of bringing this highly personal topic here is beyond my understanding! We all don't know your situation. We don't know your ex. Most of what I've read here are highly hurtful comments. My suggestion to the OP is to go see a counselor. Just talking it out with a professional will do her a world of good.

[puglet1]

This is the third thread I have read by this poster on this issue over many months and this issue has supposedly been going on for years.  In the previous threads, posters have been empathetic and helpful and the OP has ignored the same collective good advice over...and over...and over again.  The OP has also argued with those who have been brutally honest.  Yet, the OP keeps returning to unfold the story even more and to get the same advice...again.  I find it extremely hard to believe that anyone in their right mind would come back to continue this farce except to sit back and laugh.

At this point, I have very little doubt that this posting is bogus.

In the slim chance that this posting is not bogus, the OP needs serious professional help that cannot be found here and, in either event, the OP needs serious professional help.

[cmoose]

some people ALWAYS want what they don't have

[beckyb1012]

I have been divorced since 12/10/99 and still smile and have such a huge feeling of relief to be rid of that lazy bozo.  I cannot imagine going back.  18 years was enough. 

He has never remarried either and my son just told me this summer he thinks his Dad has finally put the marriage ending behind him and is ready to move on and quit waiting on me to come home.  FINALLY

[CouponQueen]

I have read the various posts over the past few months.

First of all I don't think it is bogus but true.

I have never been in her position but can understand her feelings...it is familiar...she has been alone and they have remained close and good friends/buddies whatever...I am sure their problems are still going to surface but if he is in therapy that is a start!

I am going to be the lone ranger here and say go for it..go slowly...what does she have to lose at this point?? She knows how it is being married for 20+ years..she knows how it is being divorced from him...maybe they can both learn something from this and develop something new and different...merging the present and the future...and learning from the past.

I say get some couples therapy and who knows..nothing wrong with seeing what it may lead to..you know your heart...the good and bad.

Good luck.

[Tinkrbl44]

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@terrier3 wrote:

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@Lilysmom wrote:
He is doing to GF what he did to you. No change in behavior except that it's the GF this time, not you. Do you have that inner voice telling you not to fall for this? I hope so. Good luck OP poster. You need to think long and hard on this one. What's really changed? If you do decide to move in the direction of a relationship with him, make him do all the work and clearly define your conditions. The minute he makes a move with another woman, you should be gone, gone, gone,

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Yes. He's making YOU the "Other Woman."

There may be some small satisfaction is being the mistress vs. the wife, but he's a dog and hasn't changed at all.

Forget about him, unless you enjoy being cheated on.

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OP ... are you listening ????

[KathyPet]

The OP has posted multiple times about this situation. She has been advised previously to get professional counseling to help her to break her addiction to this creep and yet I have seen no evidence that she has taken this advice. She cannot seem to break away from him and make a new life for herself. Not a very inspiring role model for her daughter to allow herself to be used and manipulated by this self centered SOB. She keeps getting the same advice here but never acts on it.

[redhead65]

Responding to this OP in any way makes you an enabler. She's looking for things that only a professional should assist her with.

I wouldn't get involved in her private matters for anything, you have no idea how it could be interpreted and utilized.

I (me) would nicely refer her to professionals who can assist her with this and stay way back!

[debic]

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@CouponQueen wrote:

I have read the various posts over the past few months.

First of all I don't think it is bogus but true.

I have never been in her position but can understand her feelings...it is familiar...she has been alone and they have remained close and good friends/buddies whatever...I am sure their problems are still going to surface but if he is in therapy that is a start!

I am going to be the lone ranger here and say go for it..go slowly...what does she have to lose at this point?? She knows how it is being married for 20+ years..she knows how it is being divorced from him...maybe they can both learn something from this and develop something new and different...merging the present and the future...and learning from the past.

I say get some couples therapy and who knows..nothing wrong with seeing what it may lead to..you know your heart...the good and bad.

Good luck.

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...

I have no idea if it's true or not, but try years instead of months.  The length of her marriage has changed several times, as well as the length of her divorce.   

Counseling is needed, just not sure it's the ex.   The whole thing is unhealthy.