Among Friends

[ChynnaBlue]

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@DiscountDiva wrote:

Hi everyone. I have not posted in a while. Hope you are doing well. Time flies and I will be 30 in less than 6 months. (I think I am going to have a panic attack when that happens). Anyway, have you met many women who regret not having children? This is my worst fear. I don't know if having a baby is something that I want, but If it is, I know it will kill me if I end up never having a child. Oh, knowing what you want in life is sometimes the most difficult thing.

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I used to work with kids. At various points I worked with kids age 2-18. I can tell you that the parents who regret having kids are way worse than any women who regrets not having a child. In Texas alone there are over 30,000 children in foster care and over 4,000 children waiting to be adopted.

I'm 45 and have no children. Sometimes I'm sad about that, but nowhere near as sad as I am when I think about all the kids I've worked with who had parents who clearly decided they had better things to do after having children. Some of my friends are social workers and the stories they tell are truly heartbreaking. 

Having children is the one thing in life that you need to be certain of. Don't have children just because you're afraid you'll regret it if you don't. That is the most selfish thing a person can do.

[feline groovy]

There are always volunteer opportunities to work with children (and/or  animals) that desperately  need attention, caring, and nurturing

.  

[NC Bandwagon]

Hello, DiscountDiva.

I'm not so good at these kinds of subjects really. The only thing I can post is that once you're past the stage of being able to have children naturally and you still really, really, really, really want a child, you can always adopt.

Unless you turn 80 and then you decide you want children. You'll probably be too tired for kids by then, but you get my drift.

[HappyDaze]

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@debic wrote:

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@DiscountDiva wrote:

I am referring to Adelina's SAD comment.

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LOL, I'll assume hitting the bars to find a man to breed with sounds bad.  

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yeah, just a bit??! I am hoping that was tongue-in-cheek...

[LTT1]

@ChynnaBlue

Amen to that... Kids who essentially have nobody parenting them ... This is sad and makes me want to adopt them ALL...😇

[icezeus]

I am 48 years old and have never had nor wanted children. My mother died at a young age and I was responsible for  raising my younger brother. My sister in law likes to joke that he is probably the reason why I did not want kids of my own. LOL. He was not that bad. The two of us  are very close and he has two children which I do love, and are close with as well.

I made the right decision for myself, and I am quite happy with it. I have rich relationships with my family members, friends, and co-workers. It's enough for me.

I have never thought of having children to take care of me when I get older. I think that is a pretty selfish stance.

Some Women and Men are meant to be parents.  Others are not.

[JBKO]

Thank you very much for all your thoughtful responses. I am pretty astounded at the amount of women on here who do not have children. I am really feeling that I do want to be a mother because I feel I would be a great one. If I can't have biological children I have no aversion to adopting.

[Tinkrbl44]

Over the years, lots of people told me I would be a great mother .... but it wasn't enough to make me WANT to be one.

Bottom line, I am VERY glad I didn't have kids.

[Margo Channing]

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

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@DiscountDiva wrote:

Hi everyone. I have not posted in a while. Hope you are doing well. Time flies and I will be 30 in less than 6 months. (I think I am going to have a panic attack when that happens). Anyway, have you met many women who regret not having children? This is my worst fear. I don't know if having a baby is something that I want, but If it is, I know it will kill me if I end up never having a child. Oh, knowing what you want in life is sometimes the most difficult thing.

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Sorry, but having a child because "if you don't you might regret it later" is a  HORRIBLE  reason to become a mother.    I know women who had kids and, if they had to do it all over again, wouldn't.    I also know a few who are very glad they didn't have kids.   

Too many people become parents and are seriously ill-equipped to do so.   There are no guarantees. 

After all is said and done, don't get too caught up in what other people think .... what do YOU think?    Most importantly, don't get manipulated into having kids to please relatives!

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This!

My sister had a child because she iigured "How bad could it be?" and let me tell you it wa bad--she never let him forget she "gave up a career" to have him {altho she left him and his father when he was 3}, and he never lets her forget he hates her for her treatment of him.  Kids know when they are not waned.

Motherhood is glorious but TOUGH.  Be sure you asre ready for a drastic change in your life before you conceve a child.

[debic]

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

Over the years, lots of people told me I would be a great mother .... but it wasn't enough to make me WANT to be one.

Bottom line, I am VERY glad I didn't have kids.

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LOL, I have friends that I've felt the same way about.   I don't tell them that tho, I knew they weren't having kids.

Bottom line here, life's a c r a p shoot.   Nothing we do today will guarentee our happiness later in life.