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Super Contributor
Posts: 292
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Dillema About a Nosy Person

I am a 68 year old widow who is dating a widower for the last two years.  We will be going back to his hometown where he and his late wife lived and visiting their old friends.  No problem there, except for one who I previously met.  I felyt I was in an interragation room with this busy body who asked me very personal questions, which I tried to kindly answer, as uncomfortable as it was.  My companion just said that is the way she is.  Now, she will be one of the people who will be at the get together.  Question, how do I tactfully tell her to mind her own business withouout saying that exactly?  I really dislike her busy body, rude in your face personality.  I don;t want to discuss our relationship, why we are not getting married, how much do I make in retirement, etc.   

 

Thank you.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,266
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

With a gentle smile expression and sweet tone: " goodness, why are you asking"?

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,175
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

How about, "I prefer not to discuss that" or "Why in the world would you ask a question like that?" 

 

I wouldn't feel the least obligated to answer any of her nosy questions.  Make an excuse and excuse yourself.  Go talk to someone else.  If she feels snubbed, that's her problem. 

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,185
Registered: ‎10-27-2010

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

[ Edited ]

I feel for you. Try to get very busy chatting with someone else! If she corners you, you do not have to answer her questions. Depending in your personality, you might:

-- laugh and say, "What a question!" And change the subject.

-- tell her that you find the questions too personal. And change the subject. 

-- say you don't like talking about your personal life with people you don't know that well.

-- simply stare at her and say nothing if she is especially rude and then excuse yourself

-- say, "why on earth would you ask me a question like that?"

 

You probably have better ideas ideas than the sbove, but you get the idea.

 

In my career, the national company I worked for was based in a wonderful midwestern city, and I travelled all over the country on business. It never ceased to amaze me how often someone I had just met in some meeting, usually in Manhattan where I spent a lot of time, would rudely say, " How can you stand to live in (city name)?" I loved where I lived but I quickly learned not to be defensive or try to explain why I chose to live there. In other words, I did not have to answer their stupid questions! I would turn the tables, subtly pointing out their ignorance by replying breezily, "Oh, it's a great city. When were you there last?" Invariable, the questioner would say, "Oh, I've never been there," so I would just look st the person and shrug. Point made.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 166
Registered: ‎06-15-2016

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

[ Edited ]

Are you sure this person really is a busy body maybe they are to you but maybe in reality they are just trying to have a conversation. I know people who just don't like to talk. I try to get to know them and they give me one word answers or answer as little as possible because they actually are rude and disinterested. So again is this person really out of line in your opinion or just trying to get to know you and you have never known anyone in your social circle to be this interested in you. This could be a legit scenario. Maybe in the previous situation your boyfriend and his then wife were very open and chatty with this woman or at least maybe his wife was. I would be asking him a lot about this friend to try and understand her before I actually said anything TO her. You might be making this into something this isn't. You might  just not be a conversationalist.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,103
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

Is it possible this person is looking after her male friend?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,641
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

Just answer with, "well sweetheart, why would you want to know that?" You don't have to let her keep doing that to you. Someone must have just let her do it to them, and while she may mean nothing by it, she could be a big gossip and you don't owe her amunition for the ladies to talk about.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,685
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person


calcgirl wrote:

I am a 68 year old widow who is dating a widower for the last two years.  We will be going back to his hometown where he and his late wife lived and visiting their old friends.  No problem there, except for one who I previously met.  I felyt I was in an interragation room with this busy body who asked me very personal questions, which I tried to kindly answer, as uncomfortable as it was.  My companion just said that is the way she is.  Now, she will be one of the people who will be at the get together.  Question, how do I tactfully tell her to mind her own business withouout saying that exactly?  I really dislike her busy body, rude in your face personality.  I don;t want to discuss our relationship, why we are not getting married, how much do I make in retirement, etc.   

 

Thank you.


before you go just be armed with answers to the questions.

 

retirement  "oh I don't discuss money"

 

married  we will let you know, or something like that

 

 

or

 

"why do you want to know"  

Super Contributor
Posts: 298
Registered: ‎02-19-2014

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

Tactfully or not, say "I don't see where that's any of your business."

Regular Contributor
Posts: 157
Registered: ‎09-01-2016

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

I don't find these types of situations a dilemna at all.  

 

People are nosey and some talk more than others and ask a lot of questions, others don't care about anyone else's private business so they don't. I fit in the latter. I don't really care about details in people who are not close friends or family. So if I run into someone who does like to ask a lot of questions I might just say something like "we're just living our lives one day at a time", and that''s it. Walk away. She'll get the drift. I wouldn't spend one second worrying about what might or might not happen at this event. 

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