A wedding question

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

My son is getting married and to my surprise he had several of my friends on his guest list. I had no intention of inviting these people, for different reasons....nothing bad. How would you handle this? Also, he is inviting aunts we have had no contact with in over three years, this feels awkward. Again, nothing bad with them, just not a close family.

MsLomo · ‎03-09-2010

Interesting question. My reaction is that it's your call regarding whether your friends should be invited (unless he developed his own friendships with them, in which case it's up to him), and it's his call regarding inviting his aunts.

forest4thetrees · ‎07-11-2010

He is wildly exuberantly passionately in love....found the one person on the whole planet he wishes to spend the rest of his life with!! What joy! He'd invite the entire world if he could..just so all can be part of his great happiness. I can relate.

However, if you feel that some of the names on his list are making you squirm (for whatever reasons there might be) then just sit down and discuss it with him--not necessarily the blow-by-blow; just ask "Johnny, why did you list Mary Lou Smith (or Aunt Grizelda, or whomever)." Come to a happy medium. If he has a reason ("I remember she.....") then let the invitation go out. If he says "I thought you'd like to see....." then discuss removing them from the list. Or just let him invite the planet and put the choice to attend/miss on the invitee.

No matter who attends, or doesn't attend, the end result will still be the same. At the end of the day he and the woman of his dreams will have a lovely memory to the start of their lives together.

vermint · ‎04-05-2010

@panda1234 Maybe ask him why he wants these people to be invited?

I wish one of my aunts had felt like you do...I received an invitation to her grandaughter's wedding---clear across the country, no less--and I've never met this girl OR her mother (my cousin)! We're not a close family either.

Nuttmeg · ‎03-09-2010

Please do not make a big deal about the guest list.

2blonde · ‎03-10-2010

OP, please don't get offended by this, but do you think that maybe the potential for gifting has anything to do with the long list? Just a thought.

Laura loves cats!

Kitlynn · ‎03-09-2010

I would just casually ask him about the people he has invited and find out if he is doing it because he really cares or if he is just trying to be nice to include your friends and family. If he is doing it because he wants them invited then just go with it. If he is doing it to make you feel good then let him know nicely that it is not important to you that these people get invitations.

bargainsgirl · ‎01-13-2012

IMO you invite people who are ACTIVELY involved in your life. We eliminated many friends/relatives for our daughters wedding simply because we seldom see these people. Has nothing to do with how we feel about them. Remember too (at least in our case) we had a buget to follow and 50 extra people becomes VERY costly. If people feel offended then they have to deal with it. I recall being invited to my cousin's daughter's wedding (had't seen her in at least 8 years) and really didn't know a thing about her or her finance. There were 300 people at this wedding. Not my idea of a true and heartfelt celebration.

BLH · ‎03-10-2010

I agree with the original poster. I would certainly say something to him. I have two sons, both married and I worried that people would think they were only inviting them to get a gift. I'm surprised that your son didn't check with you first. Both of my sons asked me if they should invite certain people and I told them no and they didn't invite them.