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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,423
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Hello Everyone,

My son is a pilot with a major airline and he has recently married a very nice lady. Yesterday he told me he gave my flight benefits to his father-in-law because he flies often and since I became a widow 3 years ago I haven't flown anywhere (true).

I don't know why this hurt me; I haven't traveled since my sweetheart passed away and his father-in-law will get better use of it. I am not a selfish person at all which makes me feel guilty that this hurt me, but it did. Why????? I never shared my feelings with them yesterday and never would, but I thought I was going to cry ( silly, right). Thankfully, the subject changed and they never noticed I was hurt.

I guess I just needed to share this with someone, so here I am.

Have a nice day

Valued Contributor
Posts: 1,994
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

HUGS!

Sometimes things just affect us when we least expect it and don't know why . Just part of being human....

Can't he give them to all family members IF you ever want to travel again?

Fighting for them.( formerly EMTHeart)
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Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,549
Registered: ‎12-17-2012

Sorry it hurt you, but I understand. It's because he thought to give something of yours (from him) to a Father-In-Law. It touches the heart somehow. Perhaps a little jealousy on our part that we didn't even know we have.

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,270
Registered: ‎04-20-2012

calcgirl.....if they were your flight benefits then yes it was rude of him to just give them to someone else. Perhaps you will want to travel one day. Shouldn't he have asked you first? Seems he was awfully callous to you while trying to win brownie points with his father-in-law at your expense.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,136
Registered: ‎06-03-2010

I think you should share your feelings with your son........how can he know you, and what's important to you if you don't share with him...........................................raven

We're not in Kansas anymore ToTo
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,324
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

If and when you decide to travel, you can always ask him. Surely, he can transfer them back to you for a few months (or whatever). Right now, though, his FIL is probably making very good use of those flights. 'Might as well use the free passes for now'..........right? Smile

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,680
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I understand the hurt feelings. It's a subtle reminder that your sweetie is gone and it brings back grief.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,349
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I don't think it's about the miles at all.

I think it's because he did it without talking to you about it first. Of course, you probably would have agreed to it. You would just have appreciated the acknowledgement beforehand.

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero
Valued Contributor
Posts: 2,767
Registered: ‎04-06-2013
On 7/7/2014 kdgn said:

I understand the hurt feelings. It's a subtle reminder that your sweetie is gone and it brings back grief.

yes, i think this is why. all those emotions came rushing back all at once.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((( calcgirl )))))))))))))))))))))))))))

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?" Hillel
Super Contributor
Posts: 2,916
Registered: ‎03-09-2010
On 7/7/2014 Marienkaefer2 said:

I don't think it's about the miles at all.

I think it's because he did it without talking to you about it first. Of course, you probably would have agreed to it. You would just have appreciated the acknowledgement beforehand.

Agree.