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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,649
Registered: ‎06-20-2010

OT, somewhat.......Just need to share with someone.......

As you all know, for those who know me, that I am always looking for recipes for my dad, as he was never around during my growing up years,.....his choice, as I was always available to him thru my granny and granddaddy.... and still to this day refuses to tell me that he loves me.......as will only ever love one women in his life........my granny......now well deceased several years ago in her 90's. I moved here 7 years ago, and I am an only child, and I am having to deal/care for him more and more after a stroke, and other medical issues, and I always try recipes that I feel that would make him happy, and cook for him at every chance I can, and try to do my best, as my mom suddenly died, several years agobwho had just moved back here after 42 years...... and she would expect me to do this......I had my puppy doodles, that regardless of what he says, he loved my little Savannah and would do anything for her, and stated to me recently, while at my house, that he just expected her to come busting thru her doggie door, and looks for her, as I had to let her go to the rainbow bridge 2 years ago.......Without spoken words, I know how he loved her so...........{#emotions_dlg.blush} Now, this cold and hard man, who is always angry, and spews his anger to me...not at me.........sent me an Easter card, that just says "Daughter".......Happy Easter! Happy Spring! To a girl who's sweeter than anything! and just signed it dad..........I just had to cry, as I think he cares, and appreciates what I do/cook for him, but is just a man who will not allow himself to say so........{#emotions_dlg.wub}

I know many think this a stupid post, but for those that I saved and made recipes just for him, can feel my tears as you read this, and you know the recipes that I collect from all of you here and make for him.........So.......in a way, even though he will never tell me he loves me......your recipes have made him to tell me feelings, in a simple card, that he will never say to me....AND.........understand........he lives less than 2 miles from me, but sent this thru the mail........for me.........at Easter.........I thank you all for giving me the coconut recipes that I have made for him, that helped him to be thankful for me after all, and care enough to send me this wonderful Easter card.........I thank you all, and wish you each and every one a beautiful Easter...........and Passover..........{#emotions_dlg.blush}{#emotions_dlg.wub}

The strength of the wolf is the pack, and the strength of the pack is the wolf.......
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,521
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: OT, somewhat.......Just need to share with someone.......

Forrest I am so glad your Dad sent you this card and in his own way he is trying to say how much he loves you and appreciates every thing you do for him. Some times people just have a hard time saying what they really feel. You just might find out you really are and always have been Daddy's little girl, he just didn't know how to show it. Happy Easter to you and your Dad. Your doing wonderful taking care of him and sharing his as they say his golden years.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,674
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: OT, somewhat.......Just need to share with someone.......

Family issues are the hardest. Bless your heart, and hugs and prayers for you!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,816
Registered: ‎03-24-2010

Re: OT, somewhat.......Just need to share with someone.......

Wow, Forest that just blew me away. Bless you. What a special card indeed.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,920
Registered: ‎03-26-2010

Re: OT, somewhat.......Just need to share with someone.......

Oh, forrestwolf, after reading your post here, I just wanted to give you a hug. What you are going through is not unusual at all for many. I think the expression of feelings openly has come more in recent years. In the past, and with older generations, it just was not said. I don't recall hearing a lot of I Love You growing up but I knew I was loved a lot just how we lived as a family. Sometimes love isn't in the exact words but actions....a card your dad sent you...or all you do for your dad. My mother is now 98 and just in recent years we have begun to exchange "I love you"......I think I started it along with my children. I would bet that if you are with your dad sometime.....look at him and say "I love you, dad" he will say I love you too.....or maybe "me too". It is harder for the older generations. A friend of mine had a dad like yours....she just kept doing what she knew she had to do for him....he smiled...she knew love was there....they just can't say it....most of them did not grow up feeling much love. You are doing what God and Jesus ask of us.......caring for others.....it will come back to you. I hope you have a peaceful, loving Blessed Easter...with your dad. Hugs!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 69,789
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: OT, somewhat.......Just need to share with someone.......

My family was very close and my parents made many sacrifices for my sister and me. They were wonderfully supportive during our various marital crises, but they didn't say , "I love you", often if ever. My dad was with me when my son died and never really said any words of comfort but he was with me to make arrangement and throughout the whole ordeal. I think some people just aren't verbally demonstrative. Men especially have a hard time expressing their feelings. Be assured that actions speak louder than words.
New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Super Contributor
Posts: 2,313
Registered: ‎08-23-2012

Re: OT, somewhat.......Just need to share with someone.......

((((forrestwolf)))) Thank you for sharing something so lovely.

The fact that your dad has trouble expressing himself to you is no fault of yours. He was shaped by his own experiences and perhaps he can't get past them. In any case, it sure sounds like he loves you and knows what you are doing for him.

Whatever his shortcomings as a dad, he created you and you seem to be a person of extraordinary character. I feel fortunate that our paths have crossed, as odd as that might seem.

Thank you for being here for us on the forum. You are a lovely person.

Super Contributor
Posts: 819
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: OT, somewhat.......Just need to share with someone.......

He has to love you! What's not to love? But, as others have said, some folks just have a hard time expressing their feelings in words. I'm so glad he finally has, and that you can have that assurance.

Good daughters aren't necessarily all that easy to find; I suspect he knows that, too, and realizes what a treasure you are. I hope that you'll be truly blessed as you bless him with your caring goodness, and as you bless us with all that you share. Happy Easter, Wolfie!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,522
Registered: ‎11-20-2013

Re: OT, somewhat.......Just need to share with someone.......

((((forrestwolf))))) So many years waiting and hoping for the reciprocation of your love. Not a silly post. You always deserved so much more, sounds to me. I'm glad this touches your heart. Glad you shared too. Smile

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,042
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: OT, somewhat.......Just need to share with someone.......

What a wonderful expression of love - you never gave up on him, in spite of the emotional abuse you took. And deep down, even though he couldn't express it in "normal" ways, he let you know how he really feels. Happy Easter! Smile