Question.

polar · ‎03-11-2010

I'm retired as is my husband. He has 3 grandchildren. Two adults and one who is 13. The adults still live at home and do not work. They prefer money for birthdays and Christmas. I give the kids $100 each for their birthdays. Do to health issues we can't always make it to their place and occasionally mail the gift. We never hear from them. They don't let us know that they rec'd it or say thank you. The parents have never given us a gift or brought anything including food to any of our get-togethers. This year (Christmas) I think I will give the money I would give them for Christmas to those children in need and without. What do you think. Thank you very much.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

I feel your pain. We have a granddaughter that is 13, once her parents split we rarely see her...only when her mother comes home for a visit, and at Christmas (long story)....we send birthday money but never get a response...we are seriously thinking of quitting the birthday gift, but when the time comes I will probably cave but it is irritating not to get a thank you, she is old enough to know better. I will be interested to read the responses to your question!

dobiesrule · ‎07-24-2014

I like your idea of giving it to the needy. When people are so rude and ungrateful that they can't say "thank you" then I don't think you should continue the gift giving. Of course, it is terribly painful when it is family. A tough decision I know.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

I think it's a VERY good idea! Clearly they are ungrateful, without manners, and apparently lazy. I'd send a card with one of those 'a gift in the amount of $100 has been given in your name to xyz charity'.

I could be wrong, as I don't have kids, but it's impossible for me to imagine rewarding that kind of behavior. You don't deserve to be treated that way and the more others pay their way through life the more they will stay firmly planted on their butts, living off of others.

KYToby · ‎02-19-2012

What does your husband think? If he is not in total agreement, you might be starting a family war you cannot win.

polar · ‎03-11-2010

Good question but I don't ever see him do anything at all for Christmas. Some of us are doers and some not. I am going to take your advise. Thank you one and all and have a Merry Christmas.

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

You asked, "what do you think"? I think you waited waytoo many years to give your money to those that appreciate it. That is what this old man thinks!

hckynut(john)

game-on · ‎03-22-2010

polar.... I had the same problem with my husband's grandchildren.... and didn't send any birthday gifts last year.... then their father started living with someone who has some manners and she sent me a thank you card for something I sent her.... I had a nice conversation with her about thank you cards and texts and how it was nice to receive her card.... I also explained that I had not received anything from the grandkids previously.... we sent some gift cards to the grandkids via the son this xmas and one of the kids texted a thank you.... the other two haven't received the cards yet.... we know that the girl friend was behind the thank you text and I was glad I had talked to her.... I have had several conversations over the last few months.... I like this girl.... so don't give up.... things can change...

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

My niece and nephew are the same way. I don't live near them. I'd ask my sister how they liked my present and she didn't know. I still send them gifts, but I spend half as much as I used to.

Marienkaefer2 · ‎03-09-2010

Wow this is sad. My mother dinned into us from the time we could hold a pencil that we must write thank you notes. I can't imagine ever receiving a gift and not acknowledging it, especially from grandparents!

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero