Women as Friends ... Really?

Not sure I agree with you having had (and still have) some good friends from both sides.

I think men can be just as nasty and untrustworthy (outside of relationships) and I've come across a few in my lifetime, too.

You just have to roll with it sometimes; workplaces can be snake pits. lol

On 9/30/2014 expatgal said:

Warning: Rant ahead!

At age 60, with twenty years experience working around all types of women (professionals, administrative staff, clerical staff, etc) plus surviving a few painfully failed friendships, I have come to the conclusion that all this "women support each other" and "strengthen each other" is mere advertising bunk. It might sound good. It might look good on Hallmark cards, etc. But in real life, I've found 99% of all the women I have encountered to be jealous, competitive, mean spirited, and yes ... even downright MEAN to each other.

And it isn't even women in the workplace. It's at church, volunteer groups, community committees, female family members, etc.

Give me a friendship with men any old day. At least, you know where you stand. You know about the hidden pitfalls with men. You know once you have eliminated the sexual attraction thing, it is what it is.

Maybe I'm just cynical, but I've lived it. Anyone else feel like this? Or is it me, just being "me"?

I agree with you 100%.

On 9/30/2014 loveour4leggedfriends said:

On 9/30/2014 expatgal said:

Warning: Rant ahead!

At age 60, with twenty years experience working around all types of women (professionals, administrative staff, clerical staff, etc) plus surviving a few painfully failed friendships, I have come to the conclusion that all this "women support each other" and "strengthen each other" is mere advertising bunk. It might sound good. It might look good on Hallmark cards, etc. But in real life, I've found 99% of all the women I have encountered to be jealous, competitive, mean spirited, and yes ... even downright MEAN to each other.

And it isn't even women in the workplace. It's at church, volunteer groups, community committees, female family members, etc.

Give me a friendship with men any old day. At least, you know where you stand. You know about the hidden pitfalls with men. You know once you have eliminated the sexual attraction thing, it is what it is.

Maybe I'm just cynical, but I've lived it. Anyone else feel like this? Or is it me, just being "me"?

I agree with you 100%.

With the exception of three or four women that I know, I totally agree. I've lost female "friends" because I have a daughter and they couldn't have children. I've lost two female friends because I have a grandson and they don't have grandchildren. I've lost a friend because my house was nicer and, believe me, I live in a very simple house.

When I worked, outside of the home, I always got along better with the men that I worked with. I found most of the women to be really cut throat towards other women in the workplace. Years ago, when I started a new job, a woman was assigned to train me in my new position. She intentionally left out pertinent information to make me look bad. Luckily I took lots of notes.

One night I was watching the OWN Network, and Iyanla Vanzant spoke on this subject for several hours which I found very interesting. One of the reasons is because I've never really heard this topic discussed openly at length, and I do feel women getting along with each other is a huge problem.

OP, so sorry you have never had the joy of having a truly wonderful friendship with another woman. You surely don't know what you're missing.

I was widowed at age 30. Following this most of my so called friends backed off - either they didn't know how to handle a friend in deep grief or they were afraid I was going to go after their husbands - their loser husbands. Anyway , I have since made better , more faithful friends. A 75 year old widow I am friends with here t camp tells me this behavior of no longer wanting to be your friend once you are widowed continues even at her age. That is just pathetic. I "loan" her my DH when ever she needs him to fix things etc. and she is so grateful I am not some jealous shrew.

Having worked in a female dominated world all my life - I can absolutely tell you that women are much more difficult to be friends with, esp. in a competitive environment.

I worked my way through college in an auto parts store - much nicer environment to work in with all men.

I agree. The last two women friends I had were two neighbors when my kids were growing up. They were jealous, competitive backstabbers. I haven't bothered with them in years. I have one good friend since elementary school who I rarely see anymore. I just do my own thing. I like it that way.