what to do when your children make more money than you :(

My children have done better than we have done and it is a part of the plan. You educate your children to do better and the work force nowadays is geared to the younger people being paid more. That's just the way the world works.

No need to be depressed. Love that grandbaby and have a cheerful demeanor and they will want you. That baby will love you. You are probably just feeling, as all parents do, that you want to do more and more for your children and grandchildren than we had, but it is not that way and was not meant to be that way. In other cultures, other countries, the children care for the parents when they get older. Their extended families live with them. Take heart. Smile, and remember this should be a happy occasion.

Look on this as a time to question yourself about what you can draw from this? What can you do for the grandbaby and your family that money cannot buy? What happiness and values can you instill in them that money cannot buy. Also, what can you learn from this?

Be proud that your children are doing well. Do not talk about it. Just know that they want you to be happy for them. You do not have to gloat with them about their good fortune but be happy that you are not having to care for them on your income. Many families have children with children return and they are in the autumn of their lives caring for their children and grandchildren while they have a limited income themselves. Many mothers have children in prison or mental institutions. Take heart and learn from this. There are lessons and blessings. You just need some introspection.

Do you know the story of the poor immigrant family who came here and worked in the fields and saved so their son could buy the fields. He became a big time farmer and his sons wanted to be doctors and lawyers. These doctors and lawyers found their sons wanted to be computer engineers and now their children want to be hippie musicians and poets. C'est la vie.

Not sure of all my four children's financial status. I do know they are all well off enough to own their own home and have not needed money from us in quite a while. Sorry to hear about folks whose children who are ambivalent towards them.

I'm very proud that my kids are independent and do well without me. I raised them to be strong, independent, productive people. I always talked to them about college and both graduated with a number of honors and one has gone to grad school. And if they make more money than me, I congratulation them.

I don't have any money either. I became a single parent after my husband walked out on us. I gave my life to my kids and it's only been a few years that i've been able to save for retirement and do some things I like. Yes, I miss them like crazy. They are still my kids and I love them more than anything. But it's also the natural course of life.

Find a hobby or two. Donate time to charity. Get involved in things at church. You'll be amazed what giving to others can also do for yourself. And you can make some great, lifelong friends.

My friend was born to two Greek parents. They met in Greece and came over in their late teens. They were the "American Dream" and they had three children in the U.S. My friend is the first born, who went to undergrad (double major) and then to law school. She paid for nothing during this time (car, rent, insurance, food, etc.) and had no expenses after graduation. At the same time, her sister was in undergrad and then got her Ph.D. As her sister was finishing undergrad, their brother entered undergrad, then went to medical school and completed a pediatric subspecialty residency for an additional 6 years. The time in which all three children were in school at the same time probably cost the parents 200K each year for their tuition and living expenses. None of the children worked during their schooling nor had any loans or expenses after they graduated. Their parents raised them to be successful enough that they could take care of their education and enter high earning specialty careers. The "catch" is that the parents have stated numerous times that their expectation is to be taken care of when they can no longer work. That is the flip side of raising children who are financially successful and independent.

It is sad to say but the friends and people I know who are the closest to their children (see them a lot) are the ones who have children who cannot support themselves or are in need of money, babysitting services etc. It does seem the more successful they are the less they see of parents. That being said, we definitely want them to be successful and self supporting. I definitely would not want to have to raise grandchildren.

On 9/14/2014 chiclet said:

It is sad to say but the friends and people I know who are the closest to their children (see them a lot) are the ones who have children who cannot support themselves or are in need of money, babysitting services etc. It does seem the more successful they are the less they see of parents. That being said, we definitely want them to be successful and self supporting. I definitely would not want to have to raise grandchildren.

That may be the case some of the time, but I certainly know plenty of families whose children are well off and still very devoted to their parents. I agree with sylviahomeatlast--money has nothing to do with family relationships. Those that do make it about money find themselves in uncomfortable situations, at best.

First and always, you praise the Lord that they are doing well and you don't have to worry about them. That is what we all want for our children and nothing less. Thank God !!

After that, you shouldn't even have your focus on their finances as a source of income for yourself.

They are not obligated to share it with you unless they decide to gift it. Sorry, but those are the legal rules.

No such thing as sharing because of relationship. You expect too much. Your financial situation is your responsibility solely. If you run out of money, that's also your responsibility. You can't expect someone else to carry your load. That is called LIFE and it's hard but truth. Reverse the situation. Many well-off parents let their children struggle to get by once they leave home and become adults because it's time for them to fend for themselves and grow up.

You had all of your life to prepare for now, and shouldn't depend for anyone to care for you.

You are implying a moral or emotional hand-out, but there is no legal basis to stand on.

You shouldn't expect it, either. They aren't "bad" or "mean" for not helping you. They have their own financial responsibilities and future to care about.

Sorry, but it's the truth. We only hear your voice, and don't know all of the reason's you seem to need a hand-out. Two sides to every pancake.

See what you can do for yourself. Don't wait on others.