Do your parents/in-laws babysit your kids while you work?

Tzu4u · ‎04-19-2010

Our only child and her DH are expecting their first child in July. She has a 6 week maternity leave, and will then go back to work three ten hour days.

We will be babysitting our new grandchild those three days each week. I am so looking forward to this, and was just wondering what kind of experiences new parents have had with their parents babysitting for them.

Thanks so much for your input.

wowee · ‎09-10-2010

My husband and I watched our first grandson when my daughter went back to work. But after about 9 months, she and her hubby decided that they really wanted her to be a stay at home mom, They now have 2, they come to see us often, at least once a month they spend the night with us, and most week-ends in the summer they are here, They live in an apartment, with a BUSY pool and we have a back yard and pool, so safer and more fun to come here.

CanningLady · ‎08-14-2010

I feel so blessed to watch our now 2 year old grandson. I have since he was a newborn. Our DD works 3 nights a week as an ICU nurse (12 hour shifts) and her DH works during the day at the same hospital. Therefore, when she works 2 or 3 nights in a row I just keep him overnight. Makes it easier than running back and forth and DD certainly needs to sleep when she gets home. He's the dearest thing in my life and my DD tells me almost everyday how much she appreciates me and the wonderful loving care she knows her son is getting. She was told she would never be able to have children but God chose to bless her anyway!!! So he is especially dear! Cherish this special time with your new grandchild. It's a whole new world being a grandparent than a parent!

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

There was a thread earlier this week about babysitting grandchildren, you might be interested in reading the responses.......sorry I have no idea how to give you the link.

Tzu4u · ‎04-19-2010

On 4/10/2014 momtodogs said:
There was a thread earlier this week about babysitting grandchildren, you might be interested in reading the responses.......sorry I have no idea how to give you the link.

I read the thread, and I wanted to get the perspective of the parents letting the grandparents watch their kids.

I was surprised at the differing opinions on babysitting grandkids. As this is our first, I am so thrilled an excited - I am over the moon!! I was 35 when our only DD was born, and the fact I am going to be a grandma is more than I could have ever dreamed.

The older I get, the more the realization has hit me that in MY life, the only important things I have and have ever done is my little family.

brewhaha · ‎07-25-2010

Both sides did. My in-laws had them Mon & Tues and my parents had them Wed-Fri.

wowee · ‎09-10-2010

I think having your parents watch your kids is a great idea IF: they really want too and if, you do not make it seem like it is something they "owe" you to do. I LOVE watching my grandkids. I do not watch them full time any longer as my daughter is a stay at home mom, BUT I do hear others (not on this forum) discuss it. There are those who LOVE IT and those who feel obligated or are made to feel obligated or "guilted" into watching them. I feel your kids will benefit from it only if the grand parents truly WANT to watch them, And there are some grandparents that due to health issues can not. And there are those who (rightfully) feel that they raised their kids and they do not want the full time responsibilites or the lose of freedom that comes with watching grandkids full time. And I do not think that that fact erases any LOVE they have for their grandchildren.

SahmIam · ‎04-16-2010

No. I would not ask and they never offered (either set). They did their job raising their kids; how dare I now ask them to do OUR job of raising our child. If it's for an emergency, that's one thing. But on a daily basis/few days a week? No. Before I became pregnant, we lived on just my husbands income and banked mine. If we couldn't afford to do that, then we weren't going to have a child. My income would cover the cost of daycare but then... I'm working so someone can have my child 8 plus hours a day so I can work to pay for them to watch my child so I can work.....

Both sets of grandparents are active and love to travel. They've earned it.

Sadly, I know quite a few who watch their grandkids because they feel obligated. Shame on the them for not saying "NO" but also shame on the parents for asking in the first place.

Not a popular opinion, I know. But that's how I see. Will I watch my own grandkids (should there be any)? No.

wowee · ‎09-10-2010

On 4/11/2014 sahmIam said:
No. I would not ask and they never offered (either set). They did their job raising their kids; how dare I now ask them to do OUR job of raising our child. If it's for an emergency, that's one thing. But on a daily basis/few days a week? No. Before I became pregnant, we lived on just my husbands income and banked mine. If we couldn't afford to do that, then we weren't going to have a child. My income would cover the cost of daycare but then... I'm working so someone can have my child 8 plus hours a day so I can work to pay for them to watch my child so I can work.....

Both sets of grandparents are active and love to travel. They've earned it.

Sadly, I know quite a few who watch their grandkids because they feel obligated. Shame on the them for not saying "NO" but also shame on the parents for asking in the first place.

Not a popular opinion, I know. But that's how I see. Will I watch my own grandkids (should there be any)? No.

That is a BIG thing I hear also, that the kids do not even ask if they would like some sort of reimbursement for watching and feeding and paying for toys and activities for the kids, they just expect it to be free, because after all, it is the grandparents, they SHOULD WANT to do it all. I think kids need to remember that their parents did RAISE their kids and all the expenses that went with them and even if they do watch the grandkids for free, The kids (not the grandkids) should ALWAYS do things for the grandparents to let them know they are appreciated and NOT just being used as a babysitter, and they should be aware that they might be times when the grandparents want to travel or do things on their own and not make them feel guilty for not wanting to ALWAYS be a free sitter.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I took 9 years off and returned to work when both girls were in school. I was fortunate. But my sister had to work and my mom did babysit both her kids (they are 9 years apart in age) until they were 3 and ready for pre-school. My sister would never have asked my mom to do it for free, she wouldn't have taken advantage of our mom that way. Asking a grandparent to babysit like that is huge committment but it was a win-win situation for my sister, her children and my mom. My sister went to work confident that her children were being properly cared for and that they were with someone who loved them as much as she did. My mom always said that babysitting made her feel young and kept her active and she liked feeling needed. And the children developed a very close bond with my mom and my dad because they spent so much time with them. In turn, my mom spent her babysitting money on all her grandchildren! She loved having her "own" money. Childcare is so expensive now that many of the moms in my office have their parents or even grandparents helping with the babysitting. Personally, I think being with family is better for the children.