In home care

With many children living close by, I am wondering why you can't get together and make a schedule where it wouldn't be a big burden on any one individual.

If not, then I would suggest that at her age and seemingly deteriorating physical condition, that you should apply for her long term care benefits. It would be a shame if something happened to her before she had been able to benefit from that policy, since she has probably been paying into it for a long time.

Leaving someone home alone for 8+ hours/day, that has mobility and cognitive deficits is very dangerous, if not borderline abuse. She has already had a fainting spell. She should NOT be left alone. Either arrange round-the-clock care, or use her long-term care insurance. If she outlives the insurance, pass the hat among all of these relatives.

I think I understand the concern. If she eventually needs Assisted Living - which with dementia is probable, the costs are about $5,0000 to $6,000 per month. Skilled nursing (what used to be called Nursing Home) care is much more. So I can see why you might want to use the LTC for the AL care - which is probably more than the home care in cost.

Of course there are no guarantees of how long she will live - and she apparently needs care now.

Have you explored other options. What about adult day care - is this available in your area - and more importantly would it be suitable for her.

Hopefully, the Social Worker can advise you about options.

Good luck to you.

I'd try contacting her health insurance &/or Medicare to find out about daily in-home visits, or maybe a daily companion. You never know until you ask.

I hope it all works out well for her, & you!

Thank you for your suggestions. I greatly appreciate them, especially from those who have "been there and done that". We are contacting her health ins. / Medicare for benefits that are in place and are meeting with the social worker and Phys. therapist to discuss in detail on Friday, as indicated in my original post. TWO siblings have been living with her full time; two more on a part time basis. In addition, she has had an aid on a limited basis twice a week. That will be increasing.

lacey 1: Don't know where you got the idea that she has been home 8+ hours/day. Family members and/ or aid have been covering care 24/7. Thanks anyway for your concern.

A few years ago, my husband and I were in a similar situation with his mother. His father had passed away, and his mother and her sister, both in their early 90s, were living at home, but not able to fully take care of themselves. My husband is an only child and he and I both work full time. We decided to go with 24/7 in-home health care at first thinking that they would both (sooner than later) want to move to a nursing home, but it took two years to get them both out of the house. In the meantime, 24/7 health care cost approx. $12,000-$14,000/month. Luckily, both these women had money to pay for it. Some details about in-home health care that we encountered -

-The people are not trained as nurses, so they weren't allowed to dispense meds. A nurse came weekly to dispense the meds for the following week (she'd put them in little containers and the caregivers just handed them the meds at the proper times.)

-They charged extra for night time care that was out of the ordinary such as getting up and helping person use the bathroom multiple times, etc.

-Not all of them are good cooks, so sometimes meals were questionable.

-Several things ended up missing from the residence, and we can only assume that a caregiver stole them.

-24/7 care requires quite a few caregivers coming in and out of the house. They mostly did two shifts/day, with different people on the weekend.

-The caregivers kept an ongoing record of meds dispensed, and took notes about their health or wellbeing.

-These caregivers did not clean the house and did not do grocery shopping.

That's all I can think of off the top of the my head - hope it helps!

Call your county social services. There are care arrangements where they even pay family members to care for the elderly. Also, if she is the widow of a World War II veteran, she may eligible for help. Also, there may be adult day care in your area. I think leaving her alone is just courting disaster. If she enters a nursing home and she runs out of money and has to depend on Medicare, they'll just switch her over to Medicare. They don't boot them out into the street.