Reply
Super Contributor
Posts: 2,313
Registered: ‎08-23-2012

Kind of O/T: Do you feel responsible for keeping everyone happy?

That's all I'm going to say. I don't want to steer this post in my own direction.

I'm just wondering if anyone else feels this way about family, in particular.

Thanks.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,347
Registered: ‎07-25-2010

Re: Kind of O/T: Do you feel responsible for keeping everyone happy?

I don't feel responsible for it but I do it because I want to.

Super Contributor
Posts: 2,313
Registered: ‎08-23-2012

Re: Kind of O/T: Do you feel responsible for keeping everyone happy?

On 4/18/2014 brewhaha said:

I don't feel responsible for it but I do it because I want to.

Well, your posts always make me Smile.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 702
Registered: ‎04-06-2010

Re: Kind of O/T: Do you feel responsible for keeping everyone happy?

Not anymore. I did that for years. Finally realized, at least for me, it can't be done. I'm not responsible for anyone's happiness but my own.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,482
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Kind of O/T: Do you feel responsible for keeping everyone happy?

On 4/18/2014 MathisFan said:

Not anymore. I did that for years. Finally realized, at least for me, it can't be done. I'm not responsible for anyone's happiness but my own.

AMEN to that! That relates for me back to the thread about cooking holiday dinners. I don't make the rules (one of my favorite movie lines), I cannot make people happy, I cannot make them well, I cannot make life better for people sometimes. It took me about 55 years to figure that out. I am not responsible for the world, nor can I change it. Most of the time all I can do is bang my head against the wall--or not. I have let go of a lot of that.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,829
Registered: ‎03-18-2010

Re: Kind of O/T: Do you feel responsible for keeping everyone happy?

I am 44 yrs old now and I do not feel that way anymore. When I was younger I was more of a people pleaser but I think as you age you realize there is less and less time to do this and still get your things done. I also think you realize who the people are that will reciprocate this and actually appreciate things you do. I am not interested in doing things to make people happy who are just takers.

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,296
Registered: ‎09-18-2010

Re: Kind of O/T: Do you feel responsible for keeping everyone happy?

No. Because some people will never be happy. When my kids were small, I tried hard to make them happy. Now, they make me happy..... When I was younger, I wasted a lot of time trying to make certain other people happy. Well, some folks just don't wanna be happy and you will wear yourself out trying and not get anywhere. I will say, I do have extended family that I keep at a distance- I would go nuts, absolute nuts if I had to associate with these people on a regular basis.

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 109
Registered: ‎04-16-2010

Re: Kind of O/T: Do you feel responsible for keeping everyone happy?

Guilty as charged. I'm on vacation right now with twelve members of my immediate family. I'm the grocery buyer, cook, laundry woman, and overall happiness organizer. When I get home next week, I'll need a vacation from the vacation.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,752
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Kind of O/T: Do you feel responsible for keeping everyone happy?

On 4/18/2014 MathisFan said:

Not anymore. I did that for years. Finally realized, at least for me, it can't be done. I'm not responsible for anyone's happiness but my own.

{#emotions_dlg.thumbup1} It took me a lot of years of feeling inadequate and resentful to figure this out.

It's God's job to judge the terrorists. It's our mission to arrange the meeting. U.S. Marines
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,892
Registered: ‎07-03-2013

Re: Kind of O/T: Do you feel responsible for keeping everyone happy?

Depends on the situation. I used to go places and do things that I didn't want to, just to keep everyone happy. One day I decided I didn't like going or doing those things and I wasn't going to anymore. I've been pretty good sticking to it, but a family members situation has changed. I know next time I visit, I won't stick with it. It's my way of supporting them.