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Super Contributor
Posts: 4,222
Registered: ‎06-23-2013

I wasn't sure where to put this ... so, In the Garden (Garden of Stone). {#emotions_dlg.blush}

We have a family friend who passed away recently that I go to visit every six weeks or so (for anyone paying attention, no, it's not my mother). The cemetery staff cleans everything away weekly, and they are kind of strict. I'd like inexpensive suggestions on what to take and leave.

I noticed most people leave potted plants. I feel sad for the plants. Maybe cut flowers are the only way to go? I should probably just hang out in the cemetery and observe (until someone complains that I'm creepy). {#emotions_dlg.laugh}

ETA to add, the cemetery is really close, so I can swing by on a moment's notice. I don't always "plan" to visit.

I feel like this person is neglected, and that's not right, but not sure how to proceed.

Thank you!

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,058
Registered: ‎10-26-2010

So nice that you are remembering your friend. If the staff is that strict perhaps just take some cut flowers. If you purchase them from a florist, ask for water tubes. If you choose something from your garden in summer soak some paper towels in cold water, wrap around the bottom of the stems, and place the stems into a baggie. Close the baggie as much as possible, and, maybe tie a simple ribbon around them. The flowers won't last too long, but, be assured, your friend is smiling at your kindness.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,168
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

I go every month to my mother and grandmother's graves and place beautiful bouquets of faux flowers...the cemetery leaves them there as long as they don't get destroyed by rain or wind.....sometimes the flowers are still there after a month when I change them...the cemetery encourages faux flowers especially in the hot months here in Texas...no live plants or flowers survive more than a day in the intense sun and heat. The real ones look so sad after just a couple of hours.

Am surprised they take everything away weekly but I would leave small bunches of gerbera daisies or carnations, real or faux, whenever you like. I think it is so nice of you to care this way.

Super Contributor
Posts: 4,655
Registered: ‎10-19-2013

She was (and is) blessed to have such a good friend. This is very touching.

I agree with the others on cut flowers -- sometimes I leave just a single stem on my parents' graves. But the high heat warning is something to consider, too, if you live in such an area.

I'm sure she loves whatever you bring. :-)

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,928
Registered: ‎05-01-2010
My Mother did not like to visit graves. Neither do I. I can remember her without visiting her grave and without feeling guilty.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,676
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Many cemeteries have rules in place as to what kind of plant material is acceptable-- faux plants vs. real. Check with the cemetery office before visiting.

☼The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. GBShaw☼
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,990
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

I buy flower arrangements at the thrift store. Hot and dry here.....most people decorate graves with ""faux""

♥Surface of the Sun♥
Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

My parents are buried in a mausoleum(sp?) and we can't put flowers there for them - I used to plant flowers where my grandparents, great grandparents and great great are buried but we were told by the cemetery they are no longer allowed. Just allowed to place cut flowers and I'm sure they scoop them up immediately and toss them. Where my DH's family is and where he and I will be you are still allowed to plant flowers so I have a peony bush on each side of the big main monument that has the family name on it and in front of that we plant geraniums each year on Memorial day. In the fall before we leave for Fl. we go and take them out and put up the holder for a Christmas wreath then DH's cousin gets a wreath and puts it there for us after Thanksgiving.It makes me sad that I can't take anything to my parents.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,546
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

You are a loving and kind friend to do this.

I have a former DBF who is buried in a cemetery that has similar rules. They only allow decorations to remain for a week. His grave is out of state so when I visit I limit it to fresh flowers.

I did create a memorial on Find A Grave dot com for him. I uploaded a pic and entered some info about his military service.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,439
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Faux flowers look the freshest/best for long periods of time. One would think that faux flowers are better for the cemetery staff/workers, too. Less work in picking up all of the wilted/dead real flowers and plants. The cemeteries around here look so beautiful at all times, it seems, because there are thousands of faux flowers at many/most of the gravesites. We have a very active nearby cemetery where entire families visit their loved ones daily. Weekends are extremely crowded with several generations and many children. It warms my heart that the parents/families include their young children and encourage them to visit and spend time at their loved ones' places of rest. {#emotions_dlg.rolleyes}

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).