do you think it is OK for a relative who is staying with you to drink alcohol if you do not drink ?

It shouldn't be about who is wrong, or who is right.

You just said that your brother is trying to get his life in order - which I take to mean, he is probably under some stress right now.

This is not the time to press the issue.

No offense but you should care more about your brother and his welfare right now than some rule you have about your alcohol in your home.

Perhaps when he gets straightened out, he can cut back or stop drinking. Right now, I wouldn't insist that he quit - he needs your emotional support.

Alcohol is fine. Cigarettes are not.

Persephone, I hope your dear brother gets the help he needs. That is very kind of you to help him out. You are a good sister.

Sounds like he is a loser, get him out asap!

If you don't want alcohol in your home, that's your right, and your brother (or any guest) should honor your wishes. I don't know if your brother is an alcoholic or not, but he is inconsiderate and disrespectful to disregard your wishes, and you shouldn't allow him to stay in your home on those terms. Tell him you want your home alcohol free, and if he isn't willing to abide by that, he needs to find another place to stay. Pronto.

Well, you might have a big problem with your brother staying with you. If he is indeed, an alcoholic he can't stop drinking just because you asked him too. He must have a drink to keep himself "normal."

He will only stop if he wants to and he will probably need some help with that.

If he is not an alcoholic, but just likes a drink every night, he should respect your wishes while in your home.

The fact that he gets upset when you mention his drinking is a clear red flag that he probably has a drinking problem. You might try to sit down with him and nicely ask him if there is a problem...don't be judgemental and don't mention it to him while he has been drinking. If he needs help with his problem..help him get to meetings.

An adult who has to move in with his sister to get his life in order is more than likely having many problems, alcohol might only be one of them.

My best friend took in her brother last year when he moved back to PA from FL. It was supposed to be temporary situation just until he found a job. Well, he had a drinking problem and he smoked like a chimney too. He didn't find a job and my friend ending up supporting him and providing money to him for his bad habits. If she didn't give him money, he invited his friends back to her house where they partied all day and left her a big mess and a stinky home. With money in his pocket, he went to bars and stayed out all day.

Finally,after a year, she ran into a hardship herself and had no extra money to give him. So she had to put him out, which was no easy task. My friend and her siblings had a hard, difficult childhood and she was very close to her brother. She still feels so bad about what she did and had to do. He did find a job when he really had to at the last minute.

You may want to set up some guidelines with your brother...a contract with house rules..and if he wants to stay with you, he will have to agree to abide by the rules.

The contract should be simple, short and sweet and to the point. If he were to rent an apartment, there would be rules too. If he doesn't agree, well then you have a big choice to make about your and his living arrangements.

I wish you and your brother the best.

On 3/14/2015 GoodStuff said:

If you don't want alcohol in your home, that's your right, and your brother (or any guest) should honor your wishes. I don't know if your brother is an alcoholic or not, but he is inconsiderate and disrespectful to disregard your wishes, and you shouldn't allow him to stay in your home on those terms. Tell him you want your home alcohol free, and if he isn't willing to abide by that, he needs to find another place to stay. Pronto.

ITA!