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Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,105
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

How do you find a caregiver for elderly parents

My folks are 90 and 91, Mom has issues she does not sleep she is awake all night yelling and also has issues with short term memory and is starting to have crying jags and death wishes, she needs help getting up and down and going to the bathroom etc. She had some sort of psychotic episode last year at this time and was hospitalized for 6 days and in rehab for 1 week, neither seemed to make any difference.

Dad has hearing issues, and they both need assistance walking, Cane for Dad and walker for Mom. They have been married over 60 years and the lack of sleep is very wearing on him. My younger brother and I want to keep them in their own home, but this seems to be increasingly difficult

They had one full time caregiver for the last 11-month who walked out the past weekend and took the weekend person with her, after overhearing a remark I made about a nanny cam.

So I scrambled on Saturday to find an immediate solution, there have been three women in there since and Mom seems to be at odds with the current person. I am not there 24/7 so I do not know what is going on.

My brother has a friend who is a social worker and works with a network of Russian caregivers, my husband and I are interviewing a women this evening, but this is a huge responsibility for me and I am cracking under the pressure, I am not sure I am up to the responsibility

Thoughts ideas

TIA

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.
Super Contributor
Posts: 3,125
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How do you find a caregiver for elderly parents

Through our Church.

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,281
Registered: ‎09-05-2014

Re: How do you find a caregiver for elderly parents

Not to show any disrespect but the way you describe your mom's state would it not benefit you and your father both to place her in a 24/7 care . How many years has she been like this.

For the sake of your father and yourself you seriously may find it a healthy choice for all.

If you can find a care giver that meets your needs I say do that but she sounds like she needs more care in a place that can give her comfort.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How do you find a caregiver for elderly parents

I agree with boyintx - it really seems like it is time for your mother to be in a nursing home being professionally cared for.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,163
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: How do you find a caregiver for elderly parents

Look in the yellow pages of the phone book and call a number of them. Check on line too, there's different ones you can call and talk to. If your folks wouldn't work out in a nursing home, that's the route I'd take. Good luck, been down your path! It isn't easy, but there are people who can help. Also, call your local Senior Center and see if any suggestions.

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,245
Registered: ‎03-04-2012

Re: How do you find a caregiver for elderly parents

Contact the following agencies:

1) Alzheimer's Association

2) Your local Department for the Aging

3) Your local police precinct may have resources for you

4) Where I am there is an organization called ""A Place for Mom"". They offer resources for the aging.

Best of luck to you. It's a difficult situation.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,664
Registered: ‎05-13-2010

Re: How do you find a caregiver for elderly parents

You are right. This situation is way beyond you. Go to the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers' website. Find one near you and have the person do a complete in-home evaluation. This can morally be charged to your parents. You need an objective nurse or social worker to tell you what is needed and how to get it. This situation could become very bad very fast.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,918
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: How do you find a caregiver for elderly parents

You need some professional help, I don't think you can do this by yourself and I think hiring someone off the street just because you need someone in there now is not the way to go. I don't mean to be biased but you should be especially wary of a recent immigrants and unlicensed, private "agencies". I don't want to scare you but my good friend's mother was horribly vicitimized by a caregiver. You should call the elder affairs office in your city or town; you can also speak with a social worker at the hospital where your parents receive their care. Their pcp can also give you some guidance. The Alzheimer's association can give you some resources too. I don't know what the financial status is but from what you said, it sounds like they both need to be in a nursing home or longterm care facility. At this point it should not be about what they want; it should be about what is in their best interests. They need to be somewhere safe, where they can get the care and services they need.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,105
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How do you find a caregiver for elderly parents

On 10/8/2014 BOYINTX said:

Not to show any disrespect but the way you describe your mom's state would it not benefit you and your father both to place her in a 24/7 care . How many years has she been like this.

For the sake of your father and yourself you seriously may find it a healthy choice for all.

If you can find a care giver that meets your needs I say do that but she sounds like she needs more care in a place that can give her comfort.

My brother refused to move them out of their home, he is afraid that would be the end of them, she would end up in restraints and not last long

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,664
Registered: ‎05-13-2010

Re: How do you find a caregiver for elderly parents

You are near a big city. Good. Call your mother's doctor and ask for her to be admitted to a specialized geriatric psychiatric center--based on suicidal thoughts. The evals done there will give you info. It will also buy you a few days to get a care plan together. If she needs it, the acute hospital can transfer her directly to nursing home. If she is on Medicaid or has few resources, get a NH that takes Medicaid, so she can remain there indefinitely if need be.