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Valued Contributor
Posts: 733
Registered: ‎04-24-2010

My daughter is engaged and getting married - what do I need to do?

Hi Girls and all,

My daughter is getting married November 6, 2015. I have married off one of my sons, but now it is my darling little girl. We went to a big wedding show in Seattle on Sunday and found alot of interesting booths.

As the mother of the bride do any of you have any special ideas of things I could do for my daughter?

And as far as showers go, I was always of the mind that the mother was NOT to host bridal or baby showers. Is this still the proper etiquette? My sister in law gave her daugher her wedding shower, but I thought it was in bad taste. Am I just an old fashioned mother?

Help me out. Thanks so much. I know it is going to be fun shopping for the dress.

{#emotions_dlg.wub}

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 80
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My daughter is engaged and getting married - what do I need to do?

Hey Cookie, first of all congrats! My daughter got married a few years ago and I strongly recommend you buy a good wedding ettiquette book - I found it very helpful. The other thing, as strange as this may sound, is be sure the bride gets good, comfortable shoes. I know it may sound strange to some, but I really dislike seeing a bride kick off her shoes during the reception and run around with bare/stockinged feet. I took my daughter to Capezio in Manhattan and got beautiful shoes that Broadway dancers wear for two shows a day. She said they were the most comfortable heels she's ever worn and has since dyed them black. Lastly, relax, go with the flow and enjoy buying a dress, picking a venue and watching your beautiful daughter get wed! Best wishes.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,249
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My daughter is engaged and getting married - what do I need to do?

Plan a wedding and make sure you enjoy every moment of it. Remember it is a wonderful event and should be enjoyed and don't let yourself get stressed out worrying about what you should or shouldn't do. Spend time talking with your daughter and find out what she would really like and go from there. Congratulations and may you have a beautiful wedding and may they have a lifetime of happiness!

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,671
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: My daughter is engaged and getting married - what do I need to do?

I have officiated at 55 weddings. Let her know you are there for her, offer your help, but it is her wedding. Let her ask for the help, knowing you are willing. Today,s, etiquette is so different and Brides do things differently. I,'ve seen beautiful weddings, simple ones and a few, I shook my head, but I am old school. It,s the Brides wedding and her choice. If She wants you involved, she will include you , stand by for her. I hope she does. Her Maid or Matron. Of Honor or a girlfriend give the showers, but who knows today, that was the rule back in the day. Good Luck
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,873
Registered: ‎03-26-2010

Re: My daughter is engaged and getting married - what do I need to do?

Congratulations on the good news! After two sons being married, our daughter was the last so that was great fun. Enjoy all the fun and, when things don't always go well, take a deep breath and move on. I second the suggestion on the comfortable shoes and the etiquette book...great ideas. I would also recommend a good notebook to keep everything together...notes, information from venues, etc. It will always be handy to grab and go or look things up. I agree with you on the hosting of showers.....old fashioned or not it is better to let others come forward to give showers....hopefully, you will have friends or family to host. Good luck and have fun......it is such a special time.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 220
Registered: ‎06-23-2014

Re: My daughter is engaged and getting married - what do I need to do?

1. The maid of honor / bridesmaids are to host the shower(s). The MOTB (you) can help with ideas and decorating. Helping her choose the perfect dress, type of flowers, and style of the cake will be your main role.

2. Save lots of money for the big day (the avg. cost is $17,000-$22,000) as of 2014!!

3. Rent the movie "Bridesmaids" with Kristin Wigg (PG13 rating)... this movie will give you a good laugh and reduce tension.

Best wishes on your daughter's blessed day!

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,775
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: My daughter is engaged and getting married - what do I need to do?

If you don't know hire a wedding planner.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,153
Registered: ‎05-22-2012

Re: My daughter is engaged and getting married - what do I need to do?

"And as far as showers go, I was always of the mind that the mother was NOT to host bridal or baby showers. Is this still the proper etiquette? My sister in law gave her daugher her wedding shower, but I thought it was in bad taste. Am I just an old fashioned mother?"

So... what if you have a daughter whose best friends and bridal attendants are poor, bad planners, or otherwise not equipped to give her a party? You just let her go without any kind of shower? Do you make her choose a maid of honor based on party potential instead of real friendship? What if you have a daughter who doesn't have a lot of friends and wants a small wedding with no bridal attendants? You don't give her any kind of shower because of rules? There are exceptions to every rule.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,660
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My daughter is engaged and getting married - what do I need to do?

The bridal shower should not be hosted by a immediate family member. is the wedding to be local to you? if the bridesmaids do not offer to,do a shower then I see nothing wrong with asking a good friend of yours to host it or a more distant relative.
Valued Contributor
Posts: 733
Registered: ‎04-24-2010

Re: My daughter is engaged and getting married - what do I need to do?

On 1/13/2015 ChynnaBlue said:

"And as far as showers go, I was always of the mind that the mother was NOT to host bridal or baby showers. Is this still the proper etiquette? My sister in law gave her daugher her wedding shower, but I thought it was in bad taste. Am I just an old fashioned mother?"

So... what if you have a daughter whose best friends and bridal attendants are poor, bad planners, or otherwise not equipped to give her a party? You just let her go without any kind of shower? Do you make her choose a maid of honor based on party potential instead of real friendship? What if you have a daughter who doesn't have a lot of friends and wants a small wedding with no bridal attendants? You don't give her any kind of shower because of rules? There are exceptions to every rule.

You are ridiculous.