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Super Contributor
Posts: 1,048
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

My friend bought a VERY expensive purse and I didn't know how to react

My friend works for an organization where she is given lots of year-end gifts by wealthy members. Most are in the form of gift cards/coins to our city's best mall. My friend said she saved most of her gifts for more than a year so she could splurge on a black Louis Vuitton epi Neverfull bag. She already has this bag in the brown monogram style, along with several other LV bags. And yes, all of them are real.

My friend showed me the bag yesterday at church. While it's a very nice bag, I'm not sure that spending $2,000+ was in her best interests. She is 54, wants to keep up with the Joneses, carries debt and lives with her parents. My friend said she's been wanting a nice black bag "forever" and now she has one.

Now, here's where it gets weird. When she said she had been wanting a nice black bag, I pointed to the black leather Kate Spade bag I was carrying and asked, "What about this one?" You see, my friend bought the same bag last summer. She snapped, "I don't like it!" I think she realized how harsh she sounded and went on to say that the style doesn't suit her and that it's heavy, etc. But it made me feel crummy. Like my bag wasn't good enough. I LOVE my purse and am glad it didn't cost an arm and a leg!

I'm not jealous at all of her new bag, or the fact that she only wants to carry very high-end bags. I just feel weird about what happened yesterday. Thoughts?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,038
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: My friend bought a VERY expensive purse and I didn't know how to react

I think I would have just told her that her bag was very nice. She obviously doesn't have her priorities in order and your pointing that out to her could have threatened the relationship.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,303
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: My friend bought a VERY expensive purse and I didn't know how to react

It was really a gift, she saved all her gift cards/coins. So it really doesn't matter that she lives with her Mom and has debt. These were gifts and while what she bought was expensive, it really didn't cost her anything. And she wasn't very nice to the comment about your bag but just let it go. Some people need to have the best to make themselves feel better. Don't give it a second thought and enjoy your bag. I'm sure it's beautiful, wear it in good health.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,143
Registered: ‎04-18-2012

Re: My friend bought a VERY expensive purse and I didn't know how to react

" Congratulations, it's beautiful" is the only response needed in these situations.

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,148
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My friend bought a VERY expensive purse and I didn't know how to react

She wasn't saying she didn't like YOUR bag, she was saying she didn't like it for her. For whatever reason, it doesn't suit her. All you can do is say you like her new bag, or don't say anything. I just wouldn't worry about it at all.

As far as priorities? Oh well, someday she may want to move out of her parents home and she'll find she might not have enough funds saved up. Her problem. Though at 54 she probably isn't in a hurry to leave.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 226
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My friend bought a VERY expensive purse and I didn't know how to react

Perhaps you made her feel crummy when you didn't share her excitement and shifted focus to your own bag. It sounds like an awkward situation that hopefully won't affect your friendship.

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,050
Registered: ‎11-13-2014

Re: My friend bought a VERY expensive purse and I didn't know how to react

It is her money, her life. If it does not affect you personally, let it go. It sounds like you two have little in common. Perhaps it would be best for you both to just end the friendship.
Super Contributor
Posts: 3,125
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My friend bought a VERY expensive purse and I didn't know how to react

Her money, her choice.

Why do you even care what someone thinks of your bag? Does one have to like what you like to be your friend?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,491
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: My friend bought a VERY expensive purse and I didn't know how to react

It's not for us to judge or question.

She's not asking you for groceries or to pay her bills or to bail her out of debt.

At 54 she is never going to change.

We accept people for who they are, warts and all.

===================================
QVC Shopper - 1993

# IAMTEAMWEN
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,798
Registered: ‎07-24-2013

Re: My friend bought a VERY expensive purse and I didn't know how to react

i would have just admired her new bag and left it at that. if your friend already had the Kate Spade bag, perhaps she realized after purchasing and carrying it, the style didn't suit her. i can understand wanting an LV, especially if she had gift cards/coins available to purchase the bag.