I need a complete overhaul but where to start??

pinkwblingplz · ‎12-22-2014

I'm in my 40s, recent empty-nester and finally have some time for myself. I had a lot of demands for a long time and I've almost completely neglected myself. My biggest problem is probably my complexion. Oily, red splotches but dry too. Annoyingly sensitive and will break out. My hairdresser told me to make sure to wash with something moisturizing but I don't have any idea where to start with products. I don't want to start with stuff that's too expensive since there's a really good chance it's not gonna work for me. And I can't use a moisturizer, every one I've ever used has either broken me out or just felt gross.

And my wardrobe is a mess. I don't really know what looks good on me and I'm terrible at putting together outfits. Or maybe it's because my mind is already going. Looking back on pics from high school I used to have some mad wardrobe skills.

Boots. I can't make up my mind which ones to get and it's making me a lil insane. Every time I leave the house and I see everyone else in their boots and I just want to hide my feet. I'll think I've put together a cute outfit and someone in my family will look at me like I've lost my mind.

Remember those long sleeveless, belted cardigans? My son told me I looked like a Jedi.

It's so sad. The last wedding I went to I literally bought 3 dresses, several crop jackets and a couple of pairs of shoes. The 1st dress was a $300 Sue Wong and I destroyed the outfit with a crop jacket & the shoes I chose. I sent a pic to my friend and she said, um no, you can't wear that.

My son is actually quite the stylish young man and I realized that he notices details I don't. So I guess that's most of my problem right there, I don't really notice what people are wearing or how they're wearing it so when I go to put something together I'm kinda shooting in the dark.

So what do you do? I've actually downloaded apps that were supposed to help and I've looked on pinterest but when it comes down to it I get confused or something. Please help me!!

Luv pets · ‎04-21-2010

Hi Karenintx! It sounds like you have had some major life changes. It can leave you feeling less confident. I am sure you are not a mess! Since you wrote on a beauty board I will offer my two cents on beauty. Go to the drug store and look for brands you recognize. They are known for a reason. They work for many people. Look for words like hypoallergenic in cleansers. Neutragena is recognized as being a good brand for many. Roc has excellent retinol products. I would start with a cleanser, retinol for night and a moisturizer. CeraVe is also a good line for moisturizer. See how you like these products then add other things like a scrub or mask later on down the road. Get a sunscreen to protect yourself daily. Clothing style is so personal. If you like it, wear it. Clothes should fit properly, be clean and in good repair. No torn seams or missing buttons! Add wardrobe pieces slowly to what you own. You need a little confidence boost. Do you have a hairdresser you like? You can visit her and get a little input too. Good luck. I wish you a happy 2015.

Luv pets · ‎04-21-2010

I reread your post. I see the part about your hairdresser. Ask her to write down some products she likes. This way you don't need to remember the names when you go to the store. Try some of her recommendations. Skin care takes time to work. Discontinue using something if you have a reaction. Otherwise, we are all in this skin care journey together!

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

S P A

Rachb · ‎10-07-2012

From your description, it sounds like we have identical skin issues. My advice: Keep it simple and don't overdo it! I tend to go crazy and buy a ton of products within a product line once I find something I like. I was using Kiehl's for a couple of years and had an arsenal of over 15 products. I skimmed my routine down to the basics. I'm using Philosophy now and my skin has calmed down and looks pretty good. I'm using Purity Made Simple, which is an all-around fantastic cleanser. Nothing gets my skin as clean as Purity, and there's no dry, tight feeling after using it. I use the microdelivery exfoliating wash one or two mornings a week, and the microdelivery peel pad once a week. My daily moisturizer is Miracle Worker Overnight Cream (I use it day and night. I like the day cream version, but the overnight seems to do better under my makeup.) Good luck!

Marienkaefer2 · ‎03-09-2010

My advice would be to book yourself into the nicest spa you can afford, either locally for a day, or take a mini spa vacation. Set yourself up with a facial, massage, hair cut/treatments. Let them know you'll need some consultation about your skin care routine. This will provide you with some well-deserved "me time," as well as an opportunity for some expert advice. Secondly, how's your diet? Exercise and sleep routine? These factors influence your skin health as well. Since you say you've neglected your own needs for awhile, I think it would be nice for you to take a holistic approach to this. Have fun!

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero

Meowingkitty · ‎06-19-2010

I agree, keep it simple in regards to makeup and moisturizers. As for clothes, also keep it simple. You can look good in a pair of black pants and a simple shirt. Don't try to copy others. Go to a store like kohls and spend time shopping. If you really want suggestions, go to a smaller store, maybe Chicos, (I got lots of help there) preferably with sales people near your age and spend some time talking to them. Go when it isn't to crazy and they have time and want to help.

geezerette · ‎03-16-2010

I agree with the suggestions of KEEP IT SIMPLE. In everything—beauty products, wardrobe, and life in general. You can make yourself crazy otherwise. Take things easy. You can get suggestions everywhere: friends, advertising, internet, here, etc. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, after all, everyone is going to have an opinion. But it’s YOUR life and YOUR body, so you need to do what YOU want and need. Decide what’s most important to you right now (skin care, clothing, whatever) and concentrate on that one thing first. Get a feel for what works for you in that area, then you can start on something else.

This is a great place for skin care suggestions. Take stock of exactly what your main concerns are, then ask about addressing those. Try a couple of products that sound good to you, maybe a cleanser and moisturizer. Again, keep it simple, at least until you find what’s working for you, then you can always add things later on.

Same with clothing. What do YOU feel comfortable in? It doesn’t matter what your friends or kids think of what you’re wearing. If you do care about their thoughts, keep it simple and classic—black pants/skirt, nice blouse/sweater. Stick to solid colors, which are easier to deal with than prints. Do you like bright colors, pastels or neutrals? Simple=classic, which never goes out of style. And get clothes that actually fit your body, no matter what size you are.

Above all remember: don’t get overwhelmed about any of this stuff. In the grand scheme of life, these are minor details, even though they’re very important to you right now. First, take a deep breath and think about what’s really important to you—the health and well-being of your children, for example. Then you can tackle all this other stuff with the mindset it deserves.

Good luck, stay calm and remember that everything you hear is just someone’s opinion!

ETA: Rereading your original post, you mention that you don't really notice what other people are wearing. Well, start noticing. Which friends or family members have a total "look" that appeals to you (and that you think you can wear as well) and ask them where they shop, or even to help you with your shopping. And you also mention that your son is stylish. Maybe he could help you, as well. Above all, only do all this if YOU want to, not because other people may think you should. Wink

rhinovodka · ‎07-29-2013

Hi,

My favorite cleanser is Neutrogena Ultra Gentle Daily Cleanser, it is made for sensitive skin. As far as a moisturizer, Burt's Bees makes a nice one for sensitive skin.

As far as your wardrobe, I would check fashion blogs and catalogs to see what you like. Just remember because it is on trend, does not mean it will suit you. What kind of style and colors do you like? I try to keep my wardrobe simple, classic pieces with mainly neutral colors. Find a neutral that you like and looks good on you and build your wardrobe around that.

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

When you have a big job to start, it's best to pick the thing you most want to tackle first. That will build momentum. With house cleaning, it might be a coffee table or kitchen table that's cluttered. Once that's been done, the rest of it seems easy. What about your makeover bothers you most or appeals to you most as an area to address first? That would be your best starting point.