Do Your Loved Ones Know of Your Wishes?

JamicaJammer · ‎01-14-2013

I can't imagine Joan Rivers not having her final arrangements already made and clearly spelled out. The lady was in her 80s; nobody lives forever.

Makes me wonder .... tho many folks don't like to contemplate their own passing, eventually each of us will.

My beloved husband died at age 34. I was 12 yrs older, 46, and never for one second did I think he'd die first. His dear grandmother passed away a few months before him, and that brought up the topic. He mentioned he wanted to be cremated; I said then you'd better not die first, because I can't stand the thought of doing that to you.

After he died, I updated my Will, plus set up my revocable trust, appointed a 3-person medical committee, durable power of attorney, and typed detailed instructions about my preferences for my funeral. Plus now our joint tombstone's in place, plus I bought 5 cemetery plots - one for each of us - even tho I don't expect my sons to be buried there if they're married, etc. when they die.

So, have you got things spelled out? Do your loved ones know your wishes?

betteb · ‎03-09-2010

My family knows well my desire to be cremated. I've told them all, do not bury a $5000+ box. I've also told them what they do beyond the cremation is entirely up to them. Funerals and such are for the living.

It's God's job to judge the terrorists. It's our mission to arrange the meeting. U.S. Marines

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

Yes; all of my medical and legal documents are in place, and my family knows my wishes. Same for my husband, and my children. We took care of this several years ago.

icezeus · ‎10-30-2010

On 9/5/2014 betteb said:
My family knows well my desire to be cremated. I've told them all, do not bury a $5000+ box. I've also told them what they do beyond the cremation is entirely up to them. Funerals and such are for the living.

The same here. My brother has already made it clear that if I die before him, that I will not be around, and that he refuses to cremate me which would be my wish.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Financially we have had wills, trusts and giving ironed out since we were 30 years old. Otherwise, I really don't care what is done with me or about a service after I die. I think whatever happened should be what the survivors want and need to do for their own comfort. I mean really, you're dead. Why would you care?

Sister Golden Hair · ‎03-09-2010

My only request is for our two sons to sing "Sweet Home Alabama".

But on the serious side, yes, my husband and I have everything ready even the burial plots.

This is my suggestion to anyone that wants to make it easy on their children. Have everything in writing your wishes. If you can afford to pay for your funeral ahead of time, then your children or spouse doesn't have to go through the sadness of deciding what to do and where to bury you.

We only have today because no one knows what tomorrow may bring.

betteb · ‎03-09-2010

On 9/5/2014 icezeus said:
On 9/5/2014 betteb said:
My family knows well my desire to be cremated. I've told them all, do not bury a $5000+ box. I've also told them what they do beyond the cremation is entirely up to them. Funerals and such are for the living.

The same here. My brother has already made it clear that if I die before him, that I will not be around, and that he refuses to cremate me which would be my wish.

I don't really understand why people have a problem with cremation. Ashes to ashes.

I certainly fine if people decide not to be cremated, for themselves, but I don't think they should decide for someone else.

It's God's job to judge the terrorists. It's our mission to arrange the meeting. U.S. Marines

sunflower87 · ‎04-17-2014

I agree! My 79 year old father has a back surgery scheduled in November and I now realize that I have no idea what his wishes are or if he has a will. Now my sister and I will have the discussion with him about want he wants and are going to pay for him to have a living will and a will to know what he would want if something happens. As sad as I am about Joan and truly feel I have lost a family member I do feel much good will come from it for someone like me. I have never been comfortable talking to my parents about death but realize what a gift Joan left for Melissa so that she does not have to guess or wonder about what her final wishes are. Once again her ability to talk about the things that everyone only thinks about will help so many people.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

On 9/5/2014 betteb said:
On 9/5/2014 icezeus said:
On 9/5/2014 betteb said:
My family knows well my desire to be cremated. I've told them all, do not bury a $5000+ box. I've also told them what they do beyond the cremation is entirely up to them. Funerals and such are for the living.

The same here. My brother has already made it clear that if I die before him, that I will not be around, and that he refuses to cremate me which would be my wish.

I don't really understand why people have a problem with cremation. Ashes to ashes.

I certainly fine if people decide not to be cremated, for themselves, but I don't think they should decide for someone else.

If it is distressful or distasteful to those left, wouldn't that be most important at that time? Wouldn't you rather they feel good about whatever is done?

TRUE · ‎05-13-2010

Just finally did a living revokable Trust. My wishes are known by my 2 sons and I have a food friend a male in case of any debate between sons. My husband died 18 yrs ago and he was cremated and scattered at a special place in Big Sur and I will be too. There are special clauses such as nobody except my sons after I pass are to enter my home and start taking things. That happened with my mom it was sickening.

Also I do not want to be put in a home they can sell my house if need be. I feel much better now. As for ""things"" not sure about that I only have one grand daughter and I doubt if she wants anything of mine but who knows by that time but then again it could happen tomorrow....like Joan.