Please help with ideas...my friend just told us she has cancer today.

beautyandabag4me · ‎06-09-2011

My great friend, a woman who is beyond kind and very self-less told me today she has been diagnosed with cancer. She is going in for treatments next week.

I have already planned to pick up a meal to deliver when they get back and thought to bring her a bag of magazines with some love notes inside and a fresh coffee the morning of.

Please help me with suggestions for ways you helped offer a smile or laugh during difficult times for a loved one....thank you.

DrakesMomma · ‎06-02-2010

Having had cancer, treat her like you would always do. She has cancer. Cancer doesn't have her.

NickelEmily · ‎03-12-2010

How about helping her out with meals, driving her to treatments, cleaning or grocery shopping for her. ... Depending on the treatments, she may get really tired out, and so these things might ease her day...

jewelsluvsbeauty · ‎03-09-2010

moisturizing cream, non scented. I have heard they get dry skin, and get sensitive to scents. Just be there to listen & for hugs

bluejeansluvr · ‎03-09-2010

I would ask, before I took meals to her. My neighbor with cancer, did not want meals. She was sick and did not have an appetite and the smell of certain foods made her sick. Please ask her before you take any type of food to her.

bluejeansluvr · ‎03-09-2010

On 2/1/2014 jewelsluvsbeauty said:
moisturizing cream, non scented. I have heard they get dry skin, and get sensitive to scents. Just be there to listen & for hugs

That's a great idea, I love that.

lolakimono · ‎03-29-2012

Offer to take her and SIT with her during a treatment. They can be many boring hours. She will probably get cold, so if you want to give a gift, a nice soft throw would be appropriate.

terrier3 · ‎03-10-2010

On 2/1/2014 lolakimono said:
Offer to take her and SIT with her during a treatment. They can be many boring hours. She will probably get cold, so if you want to give a gift, a nice soft throw would be appropriate.

Those are wonderful ideas! Infusions can go on for hours.

Lacey1 · ‎03-09-2010

Chemo caused me EXTREME fatigue. I had trouble getting out of bed and dressed every day. Some days I just could not. Not much appetite, got dehydrated. I could not handle visits from family and friends. No energy for reading or TV-just a dishrag. I think the best help would be to take a load of laundry home, and bring it back folded. Grab the mail out of the box, and bring it in. Be available to drive her to appointments. One of the big things that I needed was for DH to answer the phone and talk to people. I felt bad not taking calls, but I was too wiped out.

I started to lose my hair after the 2nd treatment. It started coming out in clumps. My pillow was covered in hair. I couldn't wash or brush it because it was such a mess. I finally had to have my head shaved. I was too exhausted to go to a salon, so DH did it with clippers in the basement. It was such a shock to see myself with a shaved head-more traumatizing than the mastectomy, if you can believe that. If your friend loses her hair, be prepared to offer to help her deal with that.

I hope all goes well. Chemo is rough, (and that's a huge understatement).

Favorite Son · ‎12-07-2012

My father has it, too. He starts radiation next week. He wants to live his life and do the best he can with the treatments. I am doing my best to honor his wishes. If he wants an apple pie, I get it for him. If he wants to go to Radio Shack and buy something to hook up this TV or that, I do it with him. That's all I can add.