Reaching Out

luvmypuppy · ‎12-09-2014

I don't even know where to begin on this post. I guess I am looking for advice. Do any of you have someone close in your family that has suffered from prescription drug addiction? I guess it is easier for me to talk to strangers that is why I am posting here. My sister has been addicted to pain killers for a long time. She is now using the strips to wean herself off of the medication. But her mind is gone. I am so angry at her doctor for prescribing this medicine for far too long. I blame him as much as her. I am a faithful, Christian person but I am having to distance myself from her. I have tried so many times to get her into rehab. I think now I have to walk away for my own sanity. I love her but she is killing me. She is staying with my 80 year old mom. I think my sister should be ashamed of herself taking money from my mom. I have explained to my mom that we cannot give her any more money because we are enabling her at this point. We are going to have to let her hit rock bottom and try to get better on her own accord. I am having a problem and issue with not helping her both financially and emotionally because I don't think a Christian should turn their back on their family but I cannot keep crying and worrying. I have done more than should be expected so I can only pray.

Please don't think that I am writing this to gain sympathy because that is not the case. I am reaching out for help from someone who may have experienced or is experiencing a similar situation.

My nephew is not much better. He is also at my mom's. I had a long talk with him today. He has to get a job. He is in his 20's and quite lazy. They have a home. I am making the house payment. I have only promised to make three payments. I really want them to go back home and get out of my mom's house but they have to have a way to make the payment. She definitely would qualify for disability now (She had tried before) and food stamps. But I cannot get her to go take any first steps. She lost her husband last year and blew thru all the insurance money. I have no idea where she spent so much money. It makes me sick to think about how much money she spent. I think my nephew spent a lot of it on all kinds of things including drugs.

I accept that I, alone, cannot save them. During this Christmas season can you please pray for my sister and nephew. I KNOW prayer works. I can only pray for strength and that his will be done.

I am also praying for a forgiving heart. I really want her Dr's medical license revoked. He created this nightmare by writing her narc prescriptions for years. I am so angry at him too.

Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

Your sister is ill. It sounds like your nephew may be going down that path as well.

Having lived with a chronic alcoholic many years ago I understand your pain. While you're angry at the doctor I was angry with the bars. Neither caused the problem. An addict will move from one addiction to another if they have to and there are enablers everywhere.

If she is trying to wean off pills by using a patch she may just as well become addicted to that, too.

You are far, far ahead of the game in understanding the issue with a clear head. Seek some help for yourself. Attend an Al Anon meeting if one is near you. I believe there are online "meetings" now if you cannot attend.

While it did not save the alcoholic family members it saved my own sanity.

God bless and may He send you healing for yourself.

luvmypuppy · ‎12-09-2014

Thank you for taking the time to respond Snowpuppy. I am sorry you had to experience alcoholism with your loved one. I believe I will attend an Al Anon meeting. I think just being with others with the same heartache might help.

Please keep my family in your prayers. God bless you as well!

Still Raining · ‎03-30-2014

I second the recommendation that Al Anon meetings will be helpful to you. There will be lovely people who understand what you are going through and show you some of the many paths to restoring your peaceful sanity. It will a soft landing place for you to use to heal yourself. Best wishes. There is another side of the bridge for you if you work on it.

Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

If you go you will not be condemned or judged. Nor will anyone tell you "well, this is what I would do".......or "throw them out".

If you want someone's phone number they will offer you one. You don't even need to use your name if you don't feel comfortable. Members are on a first name basis only.

Every meeting has it's own personality. If you don't care for the first, try another. Holidays can be difficult and it's not unusual to find meetings on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

May you find peace in the midst of a difficult situation. ${#emotions_dlg.wub}$

Still Raining · ‎03-30-2014

If you have never been to a meeting, you will find that they are small groups who often meet in church donated spaces where they can be private.

You will be more than welcome to sit quietly and not be forced to speak at all if you do not wish to. I know I was just a mouse in the corner for weeks until I worked up my courage. But newcomers are always greeted warmly.

Also if it is a concern to you, the meetings are free with only a donation if you are in a position to give.

AstridDrey · ‎03-17-2010

You've been given much good advice here. I also would report the doctor. Google ""How to report bad doctors."" Take care of yourself. Wishing you peace.

jeanlake · ‎03-10-2010

I'm so sorry you're going through this with family. I slipped away from a friend of almost 30 years whose husband left her, she can't work because of prescription pain meds, and she keeps arguing with and taking from everyone - including her grown children. But, she isn't my blood, and family relationships can be difficult to walk away from. Christians are not door mats. Scriptures support this. We aren't supposed to throw our precious pearls before swine who trample the pearls in the mud and turn on us with sharp teeth. Also, there are times we're instructed to shake the dust off our feet and walk away. And guilt? Well, guilt isn't a popular, well-supported emotion in Scripture. But you have to do what you are comfortable with. Take care of yourself --

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

Sometimes to be doing so much for other people who are this dysfunctional is hurting them even more...not helping. You could be adding to their problem. As a Christian, it is important to remember that God has a purpose for your life, too. This situation could be interfering with His plans for your life. The way you are feeling may be coming directly from Him. It could be His way of starting you on a path to personal freedom where you are free to roam about in wide open spaces to follow His plan for your life....not someone else's. You really can't help someone who doesn't listen or want it. That's God's job. It sounds to me like you are already on the road to making much needed change. Don't worry about being misunderstood as God knows the truth and that is really what matters.

I agree, you have been given some excellent advice here. A support group can be most helpful.