Need help with engagement party present

Dumac · ‎09-30-2010

My dear friend is hosting an engagement party for her son. It will be catered at a nice local venue...The guests of honor are both in their 30's and have lived together for years, so they do not need any household items..they have asked for $$$...is there a rule about how much to give?? it has been too many years since my husband and i have been invited to an engagement party and i am sure the rules have changed....I'd appreciate any advice you ladies can give me.....

Dumac · ‎09-30-2010

Forgot to mention it is a luncheon buffet.....

lulu2 · ‎03-09-2010

Whenever I've attended an engagement party, I've given a nice picture frame.

An engagement is not suppose to be a gift grab, rather a time to introduce the couple to friends and family. It is not a pre-wedding shower.

hondagirl · ‎07-07-2012

I think the picture frame is a great idea - would love that myself. Also a Waterford vase always comes in handy - love that too...

violann · ‎03-10-2010

The "rule" still is that you as the honored betrothed neither remind the guest that they are supposed to bring a present, NOR do you stipulate what that present should be.

Dumac · ‎09-30-2010

On 11/1/2014 violann said: The "rule" still is that you as the honored betrothed neither remind the guest that they are supposed to bring a present, NOR do you stipulate what that present should be.

I agree wholeheartedly that it is very tacky to ask for $$$..but that doesn't solve my problem...i can't exactly quote them rules of etiquette esp. since the mom is a dear friend...so i feel that i have to give them cash...but what amount????

violann · ‎03-10-2010

Dumac, please forgive me. This reaches my last nerve and I should NOT have mentioned it here. Unfortunately, if you are invited to the wedding and/or shower you will be reaching for your checkbook each time. There are no rules about engagement parties, so you will just have to decide what YOU feel is best. Hope it's a nice party.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

Wow! Not that I don't love giving when I can, but now it's - engagement party gifts, wedding shower gifts, AND wedding gifts?

BellaPaprika · ‎03-09-2010

I would not attend. I would send a card congratulating them. Generally an engagement party is about the couple presenting themselves to their friends and family as about to be marrieds. If any gifts are given at all they are small. As someone else said, a picture frame, a bottle of wine. Asking for $$ on this occasion is beyond tacky. There will be a wedding shower and the wedding itself for giving gifts.

issiestorm · ‎09-05-2010

On 11/1/2014 BlueCollarBabe said:
I would not attend. I would send a card congratulating them. Generally an engagement party is about the couple presenting themselves to their friends and family as about to be marrieds. If any gifts are given at all they are small. As someone else said, a picture frame, a bottle of wine. Asking for $$ on this occasion is beyond tacky. There will be a wedding shower and the wedding itself for giving gifts.

ITA with this. I wouldn't care how close a friend the mom was, there's no way I would participate in this. Beyond tacky indeed. If I were related to either of these people I would be very embarrassed.