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10-15-2014 01:41 PM
10-15-2014 01:56 PM
While my mom does not eat old food, she is very very frugal with her money. She's in her 80s and is comfortable enough to not NEED to worry about money but that's all she talks about. She complains about every little expense she has and will not go buy enough groceries to have a well stocked kitchen to eat from. It is all she thinks about. I think it's from being raised in the Depression, her husband dying at a very young age and just the generation that never bought anything on credit but paid cash for everything. Her first question to any and everything my DH and I do is "how much did that cost?"
10-15-2014 02:14 PM
Do you live close to your mom? Can you help her purge the house/fridge/cupboards to get everything old out of there all at once, then to have more hands-on oversight for her day-to-day living?
10-15-2014 02:24 PM
10-15-2014 02:58 PM
First get on you knees and thank God that you still have your mother with you and then thank Him for giving her the strength, health and vitality needed to go shopping at Dollar Store and to be active and self sufficient. As far as her spending habits go. Mind your own business, it's her money and she's free to spend it or not spend it as she so pleases. You call it hoarding, she probably calls it saving for a rainy day. She's financially well of today because that is how she lived her entire life. Why would she stop now? She's part of a generation that was frugal and believed in saving. She's 92 and her sense of taste and smell have declined. That's very common in the very elderly. Instead of complaining, when you visit purge some of the old stuff from her fridge. She's 92. Do you know how fortunate you are?
10-15-2014 03:29 PM
On 10/15/2014 chrystaltree said:I think you totally missed the point of the post. The o/p is concerned for her mother because she sees her doing some things that could endanger herself or her health. Eating spoiled food..She could end up very sick. Then you would be admonishing her for not watching out for her elderly mother enough.First get on you knees and thank God that you still have your mother with you and then thank Him for giving her the strength, health and vitality needed to go shopping at Dollar Store and to be active and self sufficient. As far as her spending habits go. Mind your own business, it's her money and she's free to spend it or not spend it as she so pleases. You call it hoarding, she probably calls it saving for a rainy day. She's financially well of today because that is how she lived her entire life. Why would she stop now? She's part of a generation that was frugal and believed in saving. She's 92 and her sense of taste and smell have declined. That's very common in the very elderly. Instead of complaining, when you visit purge some of the old stuff from her fridge. She's 92. Do you know how fortunate you are?
10-15-2014 03:50 PM
On 10/15/2014 Marienkaefer2 said:On 10/15/2014 chrystaltree said:I think you totally missed the point of the post. The o/p is concerned for her mother because she sees her doing some things that could endanger herself or her health. Eating spoiled food..She could end up very sick. Then you would be admonishing her for not watching out for her elderly mother enough.First get on you knees and thank God that you still have your mother with you and then thank Him for giving her the strength, health and vitality needed to go shopping at Dollar Store and to be active and self sufficient. As far as her spending habits go. Mind your own business, it's her money and she's free to spend it or not spend it as she so pleases. You call it hoarding, she probably calls it saving for a rainy day. She's financially well of today because that is how she lived her entire life. Why would she stop now? She's part of a generation that was frugal and believed in saving. She's 92 and her sense of taste and smell have declined. That's very common in the very elderly. Instead of complaining, when you visit purge some of the old stuff from her fridge. She's 92. Do you know how fortunate you are?
No, I got it. But the woman is 92 and I didn't get the idea that this was new behavior or that she has any cognitive deficits. She just isn't doing what her daughter wants her to do. It's hard to change 62 years olds, she isn't going to change a 92 year old. Instead of nagging and hounding the old lady, she should just take postive steps where she can.
10-15-2014 04:36 PM
Vivian, please don't take offense but your Mom sounds like those profiled on the TV shows "Hoarders". This isn't a new behavior for her, but you said your Dad was able to moderate it. But now that she lives alone, there is no one around to "watch" her and it seems it is getting out of control.
Perhaps she needs a caretaker who could do the cooking (and clean out expired food) since her eating habits are extremely unhealthy. It is NOT normal to eat moldy food. Altho, if she is still going strong at 92 she MUST have a cast-iron stomach!
I hope I didn't sound offensive. I wish you and your Mom well.
10-15-2014 04:42 PM
OMG, you just described my deceased Mother In Law. She was the cheapest woman I have ever met in my lifetime to the point of insanity. She and FIL were so anorexic it was pitiful but she would "save" the food anyone brought to them and not eat it.
It really is a sickness when an elderly person gets this way, had she not passed we were on the verge of having them both declared incompetent.
10-15-2014 06:08 PM
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