in lieu of flowers

I would write a letter and in the letter stating this is a donation in memory of your friend to go the Church Bldg Fund, and write that on the memo line too.

I'd write ""church bldg. fund/memory of Jack Jones (whatever the name is).

The church will probably send a list of those that donated to the survivors.

You can always still send flowers for the viewing. I have always sent a note along with any contribution in Memory of whoever, as well as on the check. Yes, the organization is suppose to send notification to the family!

OK, thank you all. I did send flowers to the service, I wanted to make this donation also, and wasn't sure how it is usually done.

Thanks again.

On 9/4/2014 happycat said:

OK, thank you all. I did send flowers to the service, I wanted to make this donation also, and wasn't sure how it is usually done.

Thanks again.

Why did you send flower when the family specifically asked you not to ???

On 9/5/2014 chrystaltree said:

On 9/4/2014 happycat said:

OK, thank you all. I did send flowers to the service, I wanted to make this donation also, and wasn't sure how it is usually done.

Thanks again.

Why did you send flower when the family specifically asked you not to ???

In lieu of flowers, IMO, doesn't mean you cannot send them, it gives you a choice!

On 9/5/2014 Hooty said:

On 9/5/2014 chrystaltree said:

On 9/4/2014 happycat said:

OK, thank you all. I did send flowers to the service, I wanted to make this donation also, and wasn't sure how it is usually done.

Thanks again.

Why did you send flower when the family specifically asked you not to ???

In lieu of flowers, IMO, doesn't mean you cannot send them, it gives you a choice!

Well, I felt the same way Hooty. And there were other flowers there. I was glad I did. I just sent some silk ones, I knew where she was going to be buried, and that they could stay on the grave. The family seemed very happy with all the flowers.

My DH passed away three months ago. I specifically requested "in lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the American Cancer Society". I felt that the donation would be better spent on research and finding a cure than an expensive floral piece which would just be thrown away. My children, grandchildren and I had two floral pieces so the room was not bare.

Several people did send floral pieces. I felt they chose to ignore my request and do what they wanted anyway. Of course I was gracious and thanked them, but I was disappointed and hurt that they made their decision first and foremost. As a form of respect to the family, I always do what they request and not take it upon myself to do what I want. I am not important at the time. The wishes of the grieving family take precedence.

Someone even sent a huge plant. The last thing I needed was to have to take care of a plant at this time.

I may seem bitter, but until it involves someone ignoring your request at a very difficult time, you may not know how it feels.