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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,632
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Friends hurtful comments (how to ignore?)

I have very close friend & value her friendship very much. Setting the scene....we have known each other since 1st grade (we are 60 now)...I have had 4-5 jobs my entire yr, she has only had 1. Therefore I know many more people than she does due to working yrs. I stay in touch with many co-workers & other distant school friends via Facebook. Everytime I mention friends on FB, she has commented that I have too many friends on FB & too much stuff on my FB. She is also on FB, but doesn't do much except look at her g-kids stuff. Her life tends to revolve around her only daughter & G-daughter. (Maybe I am just more "social" than her,lol)

We had a huge issue between us many yrs ago & didn't speak for 3-4 yrs. We are back to normal & you would never know there was ever an issue. I value her friendship & try changing the subject when she does this. Please don't tell me to tell her how I feel, I don't want to lose her friendship again, but it really irritates me that she does this. She is somewhat moody & seems to only do this when she is in a foul mood.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,317
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Friends hurtful comments (how to ignore?)

Sorry I have no advice for you but I do know what you are saying....my best friend is single, I am married, we are both 59-60 years old. When ever I vent about my dh, which is not often, she always comments on how great it is being single as she can do what ever she wants, when she wants...(but I can too...within reason) or if I mention what I did that day, she always trumps what I did and mentions she does it all on her own....I just let it pass because her friendship is important to me but it does irk me at times...

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,597
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Friends hurtful comments (how to ignore?)

I guess you have a choice. Stop talking about facebook or ignore her comments. You know it causes a reaction and what it is.

My friend has a lifelong girlfriend who doesn't do much except cross stitch. She doesn't read, watch tv or the news. Recently her friend lost her husband. She worries about her so she takes her out for coffee and invites her to do other things which she always refuses. My friend has little to talk about with her friend since her life is so shallow. She is at the point of stopping her coffee trips. Friendships are two way streets, she is tired of always being the nurturer.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,953
Registered: ‎05-13-2012

Re: Friends hurtful comments (how to ignore?)

Not familiar with your Facebook page but many I see are ridiculous. Posting every little detail of their lives, photos of food they eat, pretending to be so busy and popular. I find many of them petty and pathetic.

Super Contributor
Posts: 940
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Friends hurtful comments (how to ignore?)

You're probably doing exactly what you should--changing the subject or just avoid mentioning anything about Facebook. You might want to control the amount of activities you post on facebook if seems like it's too much. But what can you do about too many friends? You don't want to Unlike them.

And some people are just much more ""into"" social media than others.

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,057
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Friends hurtful comments (how to ignore?)

You say that when you mention your friends on FB, she reacts negatively - and then you try to change the subject.

What if you didn't mention them - would she bring them up? If not, that might be your answer.

Super Contributor
Posts: 473
Registered: ‎04-24-2012

Re: Friends hurtful comments (how to ignore?)

Maybe she just doesn't want to hear all about your FaceBook friends. Stop mentioning them. Talk about things you two have in common and do. Obviously she isn't as popular as you are, so maybe talk about things that interest her, like her daughter and grandkids.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Friends hurtful comments (how to ignore?)

Since you are aware it upsets her when you bring up the people she doesn't know on your FB why are you still doing it? Can't you converse about anything else?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,873
Registered: ‎09-08-2010

Re: Friends hurtful comments (how to ignore?)

Do you think she may be jealous of the other friendships you have?

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,380
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Friends hurtful comments (how to ignore?)

I'm not sure why FB is a topic of discussion between you two. Why do you bring it up? Are these FB friends of yours also friends of hers....if not then I don't see why you would talk about people on your FB who are complete strangers to her.