Daughter just got engaged........

I do believe that they will 'come to their senses' when they know that they will have a budget of 2K plus whatever they have saved for themselves.

p.s. Wishing them all the best. I always recommend some type of pre-marital counseling, which includes financial suggestions/advice, etc.

You paid for her THREE degrees?! Wow! I think you've shelled out enough.

I married at twentyone and had a small wedding. I didn't expect my parents to have to shell out a fortune for my wedding. On the other side, I might have had a nervous break down if I had to deal with some of these big weddings that I have attended.

In general, sometimes saying 'no' now ends up being a big 'Yes' many years later (and in the long run).

On 4/18/2014 tashy said:

I am happy for her, BUT I really wish they would use their senses and have a small wedding, just immediate family. My husband and I have paid for all her degrees, she has three. We helped furnish her apt,help her moved twice,we are just tired. They are getting $2000.00 as a gift. I am hoping she realize they don't have that type of money for a big wedding. I am going to sit back and keep my mouth shut, maybe reality will wake them up when the see how much this stuff going to cost. Go to the courthouse and have a reception later. Most of the people will be from his side of the family,her side is scattered up north. they are talking about 150 people. I see this going down an expensive road. His family is not financially capable to help and we are, But we are not. I just had to vent a little.Any thoughts?

All those college degrees I would think finances would be one of them. Sounds like she has been taken care of very well by your and your husband.

My thought? My wife and I got married in a courthouse with only family and a few very close friends. We thought the money would be better spent for us taking a trip to NY City to see our New York Rangers hockey team play a couple games.

We are/were not spring chickens, but this was the 1st and only marriage for both of us and there was no family to pay for anything for either of us. I ordered my family not to give us any money and she told her family the same.

Guess you daughter still believes what my mother told me didn't happen when I was about 7 years old. She said "money doesn't grow on trees" and I am thinking your daughter must not have learned that while earning those 3 college degrees.

I've met 1,000's of men over 52 years running my adult hockey league and many of them are doctors/attorneys and others own their own businesses. I can tell you that how many degrees they had hanging on their wall in the office or on a wall in their home, many of them didn't have the common sense of a p*ss ant.

Tell her up front, no surprises. You don't want mi$takes made or a$$umptions.

Umm its your daughter, right? I take it you are close. Sit her down and talk to her! Why have these horrible feelings about her upcoming wedding? This is a time to be happy. Have a talk with her.

Congratulations to your daughter! I understand that you simply can't give a lot for an expensive wedding and I think that's understandable. We do what we can for our children but you get to a point when enough is enough!

I agree with you that having a small wedding is the way to go if she and her fiancé don't have the funds for a large one. I don't believe one should go heavily into debt for a big showy wedding and let's face it even a more modest wedding with a 150 guests is going to be costly just by the sheer number of attendees. One can have a more modest wedding that still can be beautiful and tasteful...there are ways to reduce costs. If she's a bit handy or crafty there are lots of online sites and blogs that can offer tips on how to save...but she needs to get the number of guests down. I wish them lots of luck!