TSV(R) Preview
127 Members and 14103 Guests Online

Among Friends

Neighbor kids playing in our yard - what to do?

Started 1336274875.29 in Among Friends | Last reply 1336887775.33 by arrianna

So...we've had new neighbors for about 6 months now. They have four kids - they all seem very very nice. About a week or so after they moved in the Mom sent the daughter over one morning to borrow an egg - she was making a cake and needed an egg. Seemed a bit odd to me since we hadn't even met yet but it broke the ice. The Mom came over a day or so later with some cake for us which was nice. They invited us to their Christmas Eve gathering but we couldn't make it - again very nice though. The kids are always out playing basketball or street hockey in their driveway which I love to see - more kids should instead of sitting in the house playing video games. Their youngest is 3 and 1/2 and my grandson is 5 so I'm hoping now that the weather's nicer maybe they can play together sometimes. I have no problem with kids coming into my yard to retrieve a ball or whatever but they've actually been playing baseball in my yard. I don't always mind but sometimes I do. And I fear when school is out in another month it's going to get worse. So - how do I not be a mean neighbor yet still maintain some privacy - and quiet - when I want it?

Page 1 of 3
1 2 3 Next
occasional­ rain1336278284.39717242 PostsRegistered 8/21/2007

You smile and tell them that you like seeing them playing in their driveway but don't want them playing baseball in your yard. Do not make excuses for not wanting them to play in your yard, just that you don't want it.

bigsister1336298955.6035797 PostsRegistered 5/15/2010Southern California

Nip it in the bud now, nicely, before it goes on and on.

Frannie1336304602.82069 PostsRegistered 9/27/2006

Thanks. You're both right of course. I guess I just needed some validation.

happy hous­ewife1336313784.18332569 PostsRegistered 1/4/2007

i don't understand what you find intrusive about kids playing outside in the yard. they won't hurt anything and if the would - it all grows back.

When faced with senseless drama, spiteful criticism or misguided opinions walking away is the best way to defend yourself.To respond with anger is an endorsement of their attitude. -Dodinsky

mima1336314111.4214654 PostsRegistered 10/19/2004KS
On 5/6/2012 morning lover said:

i don't understand what you find intrusive about kids playing outside in the yard. they won't hurt anything and if the would - it all grows back.


It really doesn't matter if it hurts anything or not. Maybe she doesn't like the noise. Maybe she wants to take a nap. It doesn't matter the reason. It is HER yard and they shouldn't be playing in it.

By the way, playing baseball can be dangerous to windows. However, if they are playing in their own yard then baseball can also be dangerous to the neighbors windows. I'm not sure they should be playing that game if there are houses close. We always played baseball as a kid in a huge empty lot with no houses around.

Mima

Bird mama1336315263.0210886 PostsRegistered 3/24/2009Michigan

All of the front yards in my neighborhood are separated by driveways. I've experienced instances where the neighbors grandkids have played frisbee in her front yard and occassionally the kids have had to run on my front yard to catch it. It was only once in a while, so I said nothing. Now if the kids started a game and used my front yard as the extension of the playing field, I would have had a conversation with my neighbor.

All of the back yards in my neighborhood are fenced in. I've experienced instances where the neighbors grandkids toys ended up in my yard. Early on, I caught a kid climbing my fence to retrieve the toy. At the time I had a dog and frankly, having no children myself never felt the need to scan my yard to look for kids. Why would I? So, I caught the kid in my yard and calmly walked out (without the dog) and said "Can I help you?"

The kid looked like he was gonna mess his pants. I let him crawl back over the fence and told the rest of the kids in the yard "I'm a nice lady. When your toys end up in my yard, ring the doorbell or knock on the front door and let me know. I will not get angry and I will return your toy. If I catch you crawling over my fence again, I'm going to have a problem and will tell your grandma".

I never had any problems after that. Bottom line - fences make good neighbors and if everyone has their own yard, they shouldn't need to play in mine.

~ bird ~

esmerelda1336318252.82314409 PostsRegistered 10/6/2004
On 5/6/2012 Bird mama said:

All of the front yards in my neighborhood are separated by driveways. I've experienced instances where the neighbors grandkids have played frisbee in her front yard and occassionally the kids have had to run on my front yard to catch it. It was only once in a while, so I said nothing. Now if the kids started a game and used my front yard as the extension of the playing field, I would have had a conversation with my neighbor.

All of the back yards in my neighborhood are fenced in. I've experienced instances where the neighbors grandkids toys ended up in my yard. Early on, I caught a kid climbing my fence to retrieve the toy. At the time I had a dog and frankly, having no children myself never felt the need to scan my yard to look for kids. Why would I? So, I caught the kid in my yard and calmly walked out (without the dog) and said "Can I help you?"

The kid looked like he was gonna mess his pants. I let him crawl back over the fence and told the rest of the kids in the yard "I'm a nice lady. When your toys end up in my yard, ring the doorbell or knock on the front door and let me know. I will not get angry and I will return your toy. If I catch you crawling over my fence again, I'm going to have a problem and will tell your grandma".

I never had any problems after that. Bottom line - fences make good neighbors and if everyone has their own yard, they shouldn't need to play in mine.

WOW!...in a very good way! {#emotions_dlg.thumbup}

Nothing fuels bravery more than the lack of the will to live. ~Lovers at the Chameleon Club, Paris 1932: A Novel (Francine Prose)

esmerelda1336318336.5414409 PostsRegistered 10/6/2004
On 5/6/2012 morning lover said:

i don't understand what you find intrusive about kids playing outside in the yard. they won't hurt anything and if the would - it all grows back.


This is funny! I have no doubt if you had kids in your yard, you'd be screaming to the heavens! {#emotions_dlg.lol}

Nothing fuels bravery more than the lack of the will to live. ~Lovers at the Chameleon Club, Paris 1932: A Novel (Francine Prose)

Julianna4261336318363.64374 PostsRegistered 1/14/2011Down Home

I used to let one neighbor boy play in my yard. Then one day his mom came over and we were talking while he played. He was running around and she looked at him and said be careful now, if you get hurt we are going to have to sue her homeowners insurance. She was serious!! Guess who never got to play in my yard anymore.

chickenbutt1336322718.7724591 PostsRegistered 1/16/2006chickentown

I hope you are able to smoothly get rid of the problem, but I'm skeptical. Recently, there were a bunch of kids 'playing' in my next door neighbor's front yard. After a while, and knowing that they were both at work, I went out there and asked if the homeowner knew there were there and if they had their permission to be there.

All I could get in response was some 'sense of entitlement' b.s. and I again asked the same question. I never did get an answer to my question so I figured they didn't have permission to be on their property.

I had to bring out the telephone (I had my phone in my pocket) for them to disperse, but not before one of them started to approach me in a menacing manner. Fortunately, one of the other kids stopped him.

The general feel to their attitude seemed to be 'we can be wherever we want and do whatever we want when we get there'. If they were in my yard and didn't leave in a hot minute I would have just called the cops from minute one. They were looking around his gate and the front of his house in the course of their 'play' and looking through the hedge to my property. Since the neighbors weren't home AND since they were checking out my property too, I felt it was my business, FYI.

PS: I agree about fences! We have 6' fences around the sides and back of our house but I would love to have a fence around the front too. I requested a 12' fence with a moat and alligators. ha! That's not gonna happen.

Last edited on 5/6/2012

Last edited on 5/6/2012

Bippity boppity BOOYAH!

BlueCollar­Babe1336323878.98310995 PostsRegistered 9/26/2007

My sister lives in a subdivision and says she would love to erect a 10' tall brick wall all around her property like we had when we were kids in England.

Would probably freak out the neighbors though!

Frannie1336324783.6432069 PostsRegistered 9/27/2006
On 5/6/2012 morning lover said:

i don't understand what you find intrusive about kids playing outside in the yard. they won't hurt anything and if the would - it all grows back.

I wasn't crazy about the noise this morning - interrupting my lovely Sunday morning newspapers and brunch. On my one morning of the week when I CAN really relax.

And actually I don't mind when they have to retrieve a toy. But when they get a baseball game going complete with bases and tee then sorry but it gets my dander up. We pay for a lawn service and grass cutting. And I don't think I have to explain why I like my yard to look nice - not beaten down by kids who aren't mine. And have their own yard by the way.

Frannie1336324799.9672069 PostsRegistered 9/27/2006

Thanks everyone else!

Rooney11336325177.8575845 PostsRegistered 9/5/2007White Mountains - Northeastern Arizona

I would think that the bigger issue would be if a child got hurt. Not knowing these people very well, one never knows.

I also think it is an issue of allowing kids to just run and assume that someone else's yard is fair game, especially without permission.

I would just go out and as another poster said tell them that you are a nice lady and when it is convienent for you and with your permission they may play in your yard. If not, you will have to tell their parents.

Kids in general really do want to do the right thing. I would bet that they just don't now the boundary.

Frannie1336325992.282069 PostsRegistered 9/27/2006

Well the Dad was out cutting the grass and cleaning out his car when this was going on this morning. But good point too about the liability issue. And like someone else said - their neighbor even made a joke about suing. THAT's pretty scary that they were even thinking about it. Actually my old neighbor's daughter was riding her bike in my driveway some years ago and I told her not too. I don't want to have to worry about her being there if I'm coming and going. And they had their own driveway! What is it with some kids?

happy hous­ewife1336327355.4332569 PostsRegistered 1/4/2007
On 5/6/2012 esmerelda said:
On 5/6/2012 morning lover said:

i don't understand what you find intrusive about kids playing outside in the yard. they won't hurt anything and if the would - it all grows back.


This is funny! I have no doubt if you had kids in your yard, you'd be screaming to the heavens! {#emotions_dlg.lol}


Where I live we have no fences and my neighbors grandkids play in our yard all the time. I am stunned that anyone would even give a hoot if the neighbors kids play in their yard.

When faced with senseless drama, spiteful criticism or misguided opinions walking away is the best way to defend yourself.To respond with anger is an endorsement of their attitude. -Dodinsky

occasional­ rain1336328440.32717242 PostsRegistered 8/21/2007
On 5/6/2012 Frannie said:

Well the Dad was out cutting the grass and cleaning out his car when this was going on this morning. But good point too about the liability issue. And like someone else said - their neighbor even made a joke about suing. THAT's pretty scary that they were even thinking about it. Actually my old neighbor's daughter was riding her bike in my driveway some years ago and I told her not too. I don't want to have to worry about her being there if I'm coming and going. And they had their own driveway! What is it with some kids?

Did you take the opportunity to go over and speak to him? If you were out and the kids were playing in your yard and you said nothing, they will assume that's it's fine with you that they do.

Of course, well mannered people would never take over another person's property without being invited but well mannered people are becoming an endangered species.

If you don't speak up and let the neighbors know your feelings, you really have yourself to blame for being disturbed.

Last edited on 5/6/2012

Last edited on 5/6/2012

danni rose1336330916.5432552 PostsRegistered 5/14/2011

bird mama - {#emotions_dlg.thumbup1}

danni rose1336330917.1572552 PostsRegistered 5/14/2011

bird mama - {#emotions_dlg.thumbup1}

Rooney11336333249.425845 PostsRegistered 9/5/2007White Mountains - Northeastern Arizona
On 5/6/2012 Frannie said:

Well the Dad was out cutting the grass and cleaning out his car when this was going on this morning. But good point too about the liability issue. And like someone else said - their neighbor even made a joke about suing. THAT's pretty scary that they were even thinking about it. Actually my old neighbor's daughter was riding her bike in my driveway some years ago and I told her not too. I don't want to have to worry about her being there if I'm coming and going. And they had their own driveway! What is it with some kids?

They are not taught boundaries or respect for others and their property - be it your yard, someone else's possessions, etc.

Every year I have to teach my new students that my desk and my things are mine. They are not just there for them to take at will. I don't mind kids borrowing, but they need to ask. I also have to teach them how to clean up after themselves, say please and thank-you, etc. For many, sadly, this is not ingrained in them.

Last edited on 5/6/2012

Last edited on 5/6/2012

Lucky Charm1336336159.1436572 PostsRegistered 2/29/2008

Our children were to taught to stay out of other's yards. It's about respect. I repeat. It's about respecting other people's property.

Maybe some didn't teach their children about other peoples property?

Life's a beach!

Lucky Charm1336336298.9536572 PostsRegistered 2/29/2008
On 5/6/2012 morning lover said:
On 5/6/2012 esmerelda said:
On 5/6/2012 morning lover said:

i don't understand what you find intrusive about kids playing outside in the yard. they won't hurt anything and if the would - it all grows back.


This is funny! I have no doubt if you had kids in your yard, you'd be screaming to the heavens! {#emotions_dlg.lol}


Where I live we have no fences and my neighbors grandkids play in our yard all the time. I am stunned that anyone would even give a hoot if the neighbors kids play in their yard.


I'm stunned at your response. Really I am.

Life's a beach!

Frannie1336339909.7332069 PostsRegistered 9/27/2006

I found out my hubby told 2 of the kids they could play catch in the yard. So I guess they just assumed they could play baseball. If it escalates we'll have to do something. Actually I'm guessing that eventually hubby will tire of it too, the grass will get ruined, they'll break something, or get hurt. And that will solve the problem.

Thanks again everyone.

Bird mama1336340929.97710886 PostsRegistered 3/24/2009Michigan

Unfortunately for me, my back yard faces the school field (soccer field, etc). There's an elementary school and junior high over there and apparently the person who owned the house before me (an most neighbors on this side of the block) kept their gates unlocked and neighborhood kids crossed through yards as a shortcut to get to either school.

After years of peace and quiet, just about 2 months or so ago, I'm sitting in my office, probably chatting on one of these threads here at the Q {#emotions_dlg.blush} and I notice three kids sitting on the curb near the end of my driveway. It struck me since I didn't know these kids from Adam. So I'm upstairs and I just watch them you know? All of a sudden, I see them stand up and start walking up the grass, excuse me, my grass towards my side gate. So I calmly walk downstairs, quietly open the front door, step on my front porch and say "Can I help you?".

Then I started bombarding them with questions - calmly like what are you doing near my gate, were you going to climb over my gate, no that can't be right, because you don't belong in my yard, so explain to me what you think you are doing, did you lose something, can I get it for you. (All trying not to crack or smile and laugh out loud). One kid ran like a bat outta he_l, the other froze and didn't move and the third said, something that belongs to us is in your yard.

So I said, what is it, is it a toy, where in the yard is it, describe it for me and I will get it for you, really, I want to know. I'm laughing as I type this out. These boys were near adolescent which is why I felt they needed a lesson. They've never been back {#emotions_dlg.thumbup}

~ bird ~

happy hous­ewife1336346416.29332569 PostsRegistered 1/4/2007
On 5/6/2012 Bird mama said:

Unfortunately for me, my back yard faces the school field (soccer field, etc). There's an elementary school and junior high over there and apparently the person who owned the house before me (an most neighbors on this side of the block) kept their gates unlocked and neighborhood kids crossed through yards as a shortcut to get to either school.

After years of peace and quiet, just about 2 months or so ago, I'm sitting in my office, probably chatting on one of these threads here at the Q {#emotions_dlg.blush} and I notice three kids sitting on the curb near the end of my driveway. It struck me since I didn't know these kids from Adam. So I'm upstairs and I just watch them you know? All of a sudden, I see them stand up and start walking up the grass, excuse me, my grass towards my side gate. So I calmly walk downstairs, quietly open the front door, step on my front porch and say "Can I help you?".

Then I started bombarding them with questions - calmly like what are you doing near my gate, were you going to climb over my gate, no that can't be right, because you don't belong in my yard, so explain to me what you think you are doing, did you lose something, can I get it for you. (All trying not to crack or smile and laugh out loud). One kid ran like a bat outta he_l, the other froze and didn't move and the third said, something that belongs to us is in your yard.

So I said, what is it, is it a toy, where in the yard is it, describe it for me and I will get it for you, really, I want to know. I'm laughing as I type this out. These boys were near adolescent which is why I felt they needed a lesson. They've never been back {#emotions_dlg.thumbup}


How could anyone be so mean to a couple of kids aho had not done anything wrong? What is wrong with you people? We are talking little kids here not serial killers. the OP was wrong in the first place because her own husband told them it was ok to play back there. Sheesh - pick on someone your own size!

Last edited on 5/6/2012

Last edited on 5/6/2012

When faced with senseless drama, spiteful criticism or misguided opinions walking away is the best way to defend yourself.To respond with anger is an endorsement of their attitude. -Dodinsky

Page 1 of 3
1 2 3 Next