Keurig Offer
98 Members and 11530 Guests Online

Viewpoints

Adult children who are disrespectful to their parents

Started 1319897484.417 in Viewpoints | Last reply 1319945728.377 by lovemygigi

Any thoughts on why some adult children (specifically twenty somethings) can talk with such bad language and be so ungrateful to their parents? I never would have even considered treating my parents this way.

Page 1 of 3
1 2 3 Next
KatherineW1319897803.54728130 PostsRegistered 3/16/2009Alabamian by Birth; Southern By The Grace of God

I do not tolerate it if my DD or DS has a meltdown within my earshot. DD is 28 and DS 26. Vulgar language is just not acceptable and they know it.




bunny~1319897851.3831899 PostsRegistered 2/27/2011

And they should be shown the door if still living at home.

It's all what the parents tolerate. I nipped it in the bud very early on in my child's life.

What doesn't break us makes us stronger.

brii1319897960.81723200 PostsRegistered 7/14/2008

I know I wouldn't tolerate it. The first time would be the last time it happens.

KatherineW1319898090.68728130 PostsRegistered 3/16/2009Alabamian by Birth; Southern By The Grace of God

So thankful to read I am not the only one who keeps a firm hand on their adult children's language/behavior when in their parent's presence. {#emotions_dlg.wub}




PpprMintPa­tty1319898286.11318733 PostsRegistered 8/7/2007Outside our Nation's Capitol

Because it's been allowed.

When I say "That would be the day", I mean that would be the day...one that would never be forgotten.

~Formerly known as Danny~

~ Tiger L­ily ~1319898405.1873173 PostsRegistered 7/23/2011The edge of tomorrow

Trust me young adults are not like we were when we were young. Yes there are some that are shining examples of how a young adult should act, but that said I have been on the recieving end of an outburst or two and it's not pleasent.


~ Magic has always existed. It's this world that isn't real.~

minkbunny1319898672.00326636 PostsRegistered 7/15/2007

Remnds me of a line from the Alabama song, It Works


Yeah, now I’ve seen my dad get fightin’ mad
Over on little four letter word
He’ll tell you fast you don’t talk like that around her.

My kids were raised to respect their elders. I haven't heard either use any vulgarity in front of me and they are 42 and 37 years old. Funny story, though. My son has written two novels and told me before giving me my signed copy of each - there is language in here that you haven't heard me use. {#emotions_dlg.biggrin}

My heroes have always been cowboys, and they still are it seems.
_______________________________

“Once in a while right in the middle of an ordinary life,
love gives us a fairy tale”

Maggie Nol­ia1319898717.19314669 PostsRegistered 1/30/2006
On 10/29/2011 AlAnn said:

Any thoughts on why some adult children (specifically twenty somethings) can talk with such bad language and be so ungrateful to their parents? I never would have even considered treating my parents this way.


The parents apparently did not teach their dear ones to have respect for anyone. They raised them coddling them. Are the parents feigning surprise at the result?

Buzzards fly in packs. Eagles soar alone.

Pray for the USA.


"Let's roll." ~ Todd Beamer, 9/11/01.

VioletEyes1319898848.40313180 PostsRegistered 2/11/2009

I think children learn from an early age just what mom and dad are willing to tolerate. It starts fairly early but the occasional outburst is to be expected in kids.

Usually when it gets to the point where a child is becoming abusive, it is time to find out why and seek ways to remedy it. I am of the belief that with open communication children are receptive to changing their ways if they see we won't tolerate it. However, I also believe it takes two in any relationship even those with our children. We aren't always right and we need to be flexible and hear our kids out.........

minkbunny1319899123.29326636 PostsRegistered 7/15/2007
On 10/29/2011 PpprMintPatty said:

Because it's been allowed.

When I say "That would be the day", I mean that would be the day...one that would never be forgotten.

Patty, I posted on here earlier in the year about standing outside the mall when a mother came out with two kids, a girl about ten and a younger boy. The girl was screaming and throwing a fit because she wanted a Frostee. Her mother said, You don't need one, we are going to eat now. The girl said, You are always such a b**ch. The little boy just looked down but being the mother just rolled her eyes, I am sure he is learning how to talk to her as well.

My heroes have always been cowboys, and they still are it seems.
_______________________________

“Once in a while right in the middle of an ordinary life,
love gives us a fairy tale”

Rap21319899355.9813235 PostsRegistered 5/24/2006

You should go on Facebook and read what the kids say. I know their parents and they wouldn't dare talk around their parents that way.

PpprMintPa­tty1319899407.39718733 PostsRegistered 8/7/2007Outside our Nation's Capitol
On 10/29/2011 minkbunny said:
On 10/29/2011 PpprMintPatty said:

Because it's been allowed.

When I say "That would be the day", I mean that would be the day...one that would never be forgotten.

Patty, I posted on here earlier in the year about standing outside the mall when a mother came out with two kids, a girl about ten and a younger boy. The girl was screaming and throwing a fit because she wanted a Frostee. Her mother said, You don't need one, we are going to eat now. The girl said, You are always such a b**ch. The little boy just looked down but being the mother just rolled her eyes, I am sure he is learning how to talk to her as well.

I can't believe any mother would allow that, it just blows my mind.

I've always been very open with my son, he can tell me anything and I've encouraged that, but there is a right way and a wrong way to do so. Period.

~Formerly known as Danny~

KatherineW1319899443.64728130 PostsRegistered 3/16/2009Alabamian by Birth; Southern By The Grace of God
On 10/29/2011 VioletEyes said:

I think children learn from an early age just what mom and dad are willing to tolerate. It starts fairly early but the occasional outburst is to be expected in kids.

Usually when it gets to the point where a child is becoming abusive, it is time to find out why and seek ways to remedy it. I am of the belief that with open communication children are receptive to changing their ways if they see we won't tolerate it. However, I also believe it takes two in any relationship even those with our children. We aren't always right and we need to be flexible and hear our kids out.........

I cringed when I read this. Reminded me of Dr. Spock.

VE, when your child calls you a vulgar name in public what are you going to do?? And what do you consider abusive??




KatherineW1319899567.728130 PostsRegistered 3/16/2009Alabamian by Birth; Southern By The Grace of God
On 10/29/2011 Rapunzel2 said:

You should go on Facebook and read what the kids say. I know their parents and they wouldn't dare talk around their parents that way.

DH and I are horrified at what some tween relatives are saying on FB. He despretely wants to call her parents.




VioletEyes1319899659.86313180 PostsRegistered 2/11/2009
On 10/29/2011 KatherineW said:
On 10/29/2011 VioletEyes said:

I think children learn from an early age just what mom and dad are willing to tolerate. It starts fairly early but the occasional outburst is to be expected in kids.

Usually when it gets to the point where a child is becoming abusive, it is time to find out why and seek ways to remedy it. I am of the belief that with open communication children are receptive to changing their ways if they see we won't tolerate it. However, I also believe it takes two in any relationship even those with our children. We aren't always right and we need to be flexible and hear our kids out.........

I cringed when I read this. Reminded me of Dr. Spock.

VE, when your child calls you a vulgar name in public what are you going to do?? And what do you consider abusive??

My children are both grown and have never called me a vulgar name, let alone call me one in public. I have had words with my daughter but she has never crossed the line. And guess what? I am not always right and I listen to my children when they are upset about something.

I am of the belief that when children resort to swearing or denigrating their parents, something needs to be looked at in the relationship. It usually means BOTH need to work on it.

VioletEyes1319899946.60313180 PostsRegistered 2/11/2009
On 10/29/2011 minkbunny said:
On 10/29/2011 PpprMintPatty said:

Because it's been allowed.

When I say "That would be the day", I mean that would be the day...one that would never be forgotten.

Patty, I posted on here earlier in the year about standing outside the mall when a mother came out with two kids, a girl about ten and a younger boy. The girl was screaming and throwing a fit because she wanted a Frostee. Her mother said, You don't need one, we are going to eat now. The girl said, You are always such a b**ch. The little boy just looked down but being the mother just rolled her eyes, I am sure he is learning how to talk to her as well.

This kind of behavior doesn't just pop up out of nowhere. When a child is very young, before the age of 5, they learn very quickly just how much mom and dad will tolerate. By the time a kid is 10 and they speak like that to a parent.....mom should start setting boundaries if it isn't too late already.{#emotions_dlg.sad}

minkbunny1319900227.82726636 PostsRegistered 7/15/2007

I think when parents got too caught up in phsycho-babble and quit parenting, with their God given common-sense, things started to go downhill.

Last edited on 10/29/2011

Last edited on 10/29/2011

My heroes have always been cowboys, and they still are it seems.
_______________________________

“Once in a while right in the middle of an ordinary life,
love gives us a fairy tale”

Maggie Nol­ia1319900236.89714669 PostsRegistered 1/30/2006
On 10/29/2011 minkbunny said:

Patty, I posted on here earlier in the year about standing outside the mall when a mother came out with two kids, a girl about ten and a younger boy. The girl was screaming and throwing a fit because she wanted a Frostee. Her mother said, You don't need one, we are going to eat now. The girl said, You are always such a b**ch. The little boy just looked down but being the mother just rolled her eyes, I am sure he is learning how to talk to her as well.

Somehow my siblings and I knew better than to throw a fit or call our mother such a vile name. Our parents were not abusive in any way, shape, form, or fashion, but somehow we knew how to properly conduct ourselves. Probably had a lot to do with Mama's word being guaranteed even on the small things. If she said this would be the result if you did that again, that was a guarantee not a threat. She did not lie to us!

Buzzards fly in packs. Eagles soar alone.

Pray for the USA.


"Let's roll." ~ Todd Beamer, 9/11/01.

Lunagrl1319900263.851502 PostsRegistered 10/22/2011

It seems to take longer these days for kids to grow up. My kids didn't really mature until their mid twenties. I've witnessed plenty of their meltdowns, but they've always known not to cross the line. Probably because when I took something away from them- allowance, the car, the tv, the computer- they knew it was for real and I wouldn't back down no matter how uncomfortable they made it for me. It wasn't because I was mother of the year either. I always say my kids grew up to be great people in spite of me. I was a kid myself raising them, I made loads of mistakes and I'm not afraid to admit it.

I'm not concerned about the very poor.
Rick, I’ll tell you what, 10,000 bucks, $10,000 bet.
Did you make those cookies? You didn't, did you? No. No. They came from the local 7-Eleven bakery or wherever.

Lunagrl1319900447.3971502 PostsRegistered 10/22/2011
On 10/29/2011 Maggie Nolia said:
On 10/29/2011 minkbunny said:

Patty, I posted on here earlier in the year about standing outside the mall when a mother came out with two kids, a girl about ten and a younger boy. The girl was screaming and throwing a fit because she wanted a Frostee. Her mother said, You don't need one, we are going to eat now. The girl said, You are always such a b**ch. The little boy just looked down but being the mother just rolled her eyes, I am sure he is learning how to talk to her as well.

Somehow my siblings and I knew better than to throw a fit or call our mother such a vile name. Our parents were not abusive in any way, shape, form, or fashion, but somehow we knew how to properly conduct ourselves. Probably had a lot to do with Mama's word being guaranteed even on the small things. If she said this would be the result if you did that again, that was a guarantee not a threat. She did not lie to us!

ITA- kids need consistency. One thing my mother always told me when raising kids- don't make threats you're not willing to carry through on. If you say they're going to be grounded for a month, be prepared to have them underfoot for a month trying to make your life miserable.

I'm not concerned about the very poor.
Rick, I’ll tell you what, 10,000 bucks, $10,000 bet.
Did you make those cookies? You didn't, did you? No. No. They came from the local 7-Eleven bakery or wherever.

VioletEyes1319900598.88313180 PostsRegistered 2/11/2009
On 10/29/2011 minkbunny said:

I think when parents got too caught up in phsycho-babble and quit parenting, with their God given common-sense, things started to go downhill.

Last edited on 10/29/2011

Unfortunately, not everyone has what you are calling God given common-sense and reading and leaving one's mind open on how to parent effectively does help some to raise good kids. Otherwise, all those books on raising kids wouldn't have an audience. I am of the belief that we are never so knowledgeable that we can't learn something new......

12andcount­ing1319900983.294511 PostsRegistered 2/16/2009
On 10/29/2011 minkbunny said:

I think when parents got too caught up in phsycho-babble and quit parenting, with their God given common-sense, things started to go downhill.

Last edited on 10/29/2011


I couldn't agree with you more, minkbunny. And regarding the post about the ten-year-old daughter calling her mother a b**ch -- I'm sure someone would have reported me, because I would have smacked her right across her mouth. There is no way in the world I would have ever put up with something like that from my children. Fortunately, since we taught them to respect their parents and others, it was never an issue for us.

minkbunny1319901013.51326636 PostsRegistered 7/15/2007
On 10/29/2011 VioletEyes said:
On 10/29/2011 minkbunny said:

I think when parents got too caught up in phsycho-babble and quit parenting, with their God given common-sense, things started to go downhill.

Last edited on 10/29/2011

Unfortunately, not everyone has what you are calling God given common-sense and reading and leaving one's mind open on how to parent effectively does help some to raise good kids. Otherwise, all those books on raising kids wouldn't have an audience. I am of the belief that we are never so knowledgeable that we can't learn something new......

Sadly, VE, those without the common sense to parent would not be able to comprehend the many, many books on raising children effectively.

My heroes have always been cowboys, and they still are it seems.
_______________________________

“Once in a while right in the middle of an ordinary life,
love gives us a fairy tale”

Lunagrl1319901217.6871502 PostsRegistered 10/22/2011
On 10/29/2011 12andcounting said:
On 10/29/2011 minkbunny said:

I think when parents got too caught up in phsycho-babble and quit parenting, with their God given common-sense, things started to go downhill.

Last edited on 10/29/2011


I couldn't agree with you more, minkbunny. And regarding the post about the ten-year-old daughter calling her mother a b**ch -- I'm sure someone would have reported me, because I would have smacked her right across her mouth. There is no way in the world I would have ever put up with something like that from my children. Fortunately, since we taught them to respect their parents and others, it was never an issue for us.

12andcounting- If someone saw you smack your kid in the mouth and reported it, you would be arrested on the spot. I mind my own business when I hear parents disciplining their kids (I've never seen any abuse in public), but lots of people do not.

ETA: I don't believe that corporal punishment is effective, but I know several people who do. After thinking about it for a few minutes, if i saw someone smack a small child in the mouth, I would probably say something to the smacker.

Last edited on 10/29/2011

Last edited on 10/29/2011

I'm not concerned about the very poor.
Rick, I’ll tell you what, 10,000 bucks, $10,000 bet.
Did you make those cookies? You didn't, did you? No. No. They came from the local 7-Eleven bakery or wherever.

VioletEyes1319901374.2713180 PostsRegistered 2/11/2009
On 10/29/2011 minkbunny said:
On 10/29/2011 VioletEyes said:
On 10/29/2011 minkbunny said:

I think when parents got too caught up in phsycho-babble and quit parenting, with their God given common-sense, things started to go downhill.

Last edited on 10/29/2011

Unfortunately, not everyone has what you are calling God given common-sense and reading and leaving one's mind open on how to parent effectively does help some to raise good kids. Otherwise, all those books on raising kids wouldn't have an audience. I am of the belief that we are never so knowledgeable that we can't learn something new......

Sadly, VE, those without the common sense to parent would not be able to comprehend the many, many books on raising children effectively.

There are plenty of people who don't have a whole lot of common sense who still raise good kids. I really think we are short-changing parents if we tell them without common sense you cannot raise children. I have volunteered with young mom's who just need some pointers on raising children and some of them didn't seem to me to have much common sense. What they did have was a willingness to learn and a deep love for their children.

Page 1 of 3
1 2 3 Next