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If you dislike someone, are you overly polite with them?

Started 1298203677.787 in Viewpoints | Last reply 1298270835.06 by Glass Lady K

Have you ever noticed that with family and friends you can tease, josh, make fun and even insult each other for laughs, but with people you don't like, you're very carefully and painfully polite?

I try to not let this show of course in my professional life, but socially, it definitely come out!

Is it just the uncomfortable feeling of not liking someone that makes for the cold formality?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When I get through this, I'm going to live the life of an adventurer.
Bear Grylls

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Hildegarde­ Withers1298204014.1423377 PostsRegistered 7/3/2008

I'm cordial, but not overly polite.


winamac11298204122.22730944 PostsRegistered 12/29/2010Indiana

I am cordial as Hilde said, but I don't say much to them.

"Friends don't let friends...drink white zinfandel"

seehorse1298204237.112098 PostsRegistered 10/6/2004

Polite.

I say "good morning" to everyone at work no matter what. Some people think it's weird to be happy in the morning. LOL

AngelPuppy11298204483.2438723 PostsRegistered 5/26/2008

If I have to be in the same realm with people I'm not thrilled with, I am polite but very reserved. I stay out of the way of them if at all possible. I can't see being rude or mean to anyone on purpose.

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin.

Zaksgrrl1298204794.639844 PostsRegistered 2/2/2008In the sun but willing to go into the dark
On 2/20/2011 AngelPuppy1 said:

If I have to be in the same realm with people I'm not thrilled with, I am polite but very reserved. I stay out of the way of them if at all possible. I can't see being rude or mean to anyone on purpose.

I know what you mean - but don't you kid around with your friends in a way that would be considered rude - IF you weren't such good friends?

Do you know what I mean? When someone teases me - saying I'm opinionated or flamboyant - I feel more like they're my friend than if they treated me with perfect, Emily Post-type etiquette.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When I get through this, I'm going to live the life of an adventurer.
Bear Grylls

------1298205269.58718558 PostsRegistered 2/13/2008

Polite. Not overly polite.

you mad bro?

circles1298205756.7117555 PostsRegistered 5/11/2005N.J.

If there is someone i dislike...I find it difficult to talk to them...so I am polite if I have to be around them....mostly I ignore them....Now my friends...anything goes...we can kid around....say way over the top things to each other...and we know its all in fun...I like those type of people so much more....Sometimes I encounter customers like that...I can kid with them and they give it right back...Makes for a fun day at work....

BlueCollar­Babe1298205796.6910910 PostsRegistered 9/26/2007

Not overly polite, no. Polite but distant, very distant.

humpty dum­pty1298208966.824061 PostsRegistered 8/19/2007Western PA

If at all possible I avoid them ...

- Good enough is good enough!! -

sometimesQ­VCjunkie1298209662.252740 PostsRegistered 5/12/2008

I am ME and don't 'pretend' to be anything other than who I am. If I don't like someone, I don't talk to them, plain and simple! Why would I go out of my way to talk to someone I dislike? That's odd to me! At work, however, obviously there are people you might not like but have to work with & unfortunately interact w/on occasion....in this case/scenario if I have to discuss something work related w/them I do, but don't go beyond that with any type of 'chatter/banter' about anything else. I say what I have to say and leave ASAP! I'd rather be respected for who I am than liked for something or being someone I'm not. I've actually found I get MORE respect for the former rather than the latter. People know I'll be HONEST with them and not 'fake' or lying through my teeth.

Why pretend to be someone who you're not? I hate people who are kissy kissy friendly to everyone, when you know the second they walk away they're kvitching about everyone they just 'pretended' to be best friends with! Those type of people REALLY annoy me!!!

KatherineW1298209740.56728130 PostsRegistered 3/16/2009Alabamian by Birth; Southern By The Grace of God

Nope!




JuJu Squee­zey1298209872.5614444 PostsRegistered 4/22/2009Space Coast FL

No, I don't have the patience for fake. That happens here though, posters are nice to your face and go to another forum to tear you apart and then cry about how badly they are treated here.

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Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a h ell-broth boil and bubble.
William Shakespeare

brii1298210074.824222 PostsRegistered 7/14/2008

If I dislike someone and they dislike me, I don't speak to them. Why would I?

Roseyglow1298210849.961018 PostsRegistered 1/11/2011east coast

{#emotions_dlg.blink} If I dislike someone.. I have nothing to do with them . "Polite " not on your life .{#emotions_dlg.w00t}

Rosena

AuntG1298212607.5776331 PostsRegistered 1/31/2009Wisconsin

It is so much easier to joke around with friends. If it is someone whom you dislike, there's always a chance they will pounce on your every word or action so I say as little as possible.

Qgirl1298213604.0334167 PostsRegistered 4/20/2005

I have a sister-in-law who I have clashed with in the past and I am just cordially nice. I am not more polite to her. I try to avoid her at all costs at the Christmas dinner. She loves to insult me.

JYWilliams1298213946.3473157 PostsRegistered 10/7/2009Kentucky "The Blue Grass State"
On 2/20/2011 Roseyglow said:

{#emotions_dlg.blink} If I dislike someone.. I have nothing to do with them . "Polite " not on your life .{#emotions_dlg.w00t}

Same here

MISERABLE661298214004.0974828 PostsRegistered 12/7/2010Noo Yawk

If I dont like someone, I will not interact with them.

"Being miserable and treating people like dirt, is every New Yorkers god given right." - The mayor from Ghostbusters 2

croemer1298215775.5975725 PostsRegistered 1/29/2009

It depends on my mood and how long I have had to deal with the difficult personality. If I am in the right frame of mind I will look at it as a challenge. I can not tell you how many times I have been forewarned... dealings with this particular person are very difficult and to walk a big circle around them. I have decided to find out if I might find something in them I would like and ended up forging a friendship or good work environment because I took the time.

I had a female boss that many would describe as short tempered and difficult to work with. She gave me h3ll for about a year. I took and took until one day I decided today was the day I was going to discuss my feelings about how she treated me and others who worked with her. We ended up working it all out and became good friends... after a very rough start. She passed away to leukemia and I was one of the few she allowed to visit her at the end of her days. We had a mutual respect and she taught me a good work ethic that came in very handy in life. I learned to appreciate the pride and perfection she took and expected of those around her. I still think of her with affection.

Some days I am not in the mood to deal at all!!

"Well Bless Your Pea Pickin' Heart."

Scruffysmom1298216094.9271440 PostsRegistered 4/9/2007

I try not to interact with people I don't like. When I'm faced with this at work, I just keep it professional.

I don't want to be too polite, they might think I'm nice and that I like them. {#emotions_dlg.scared} LOL

bonnielu1298216113.475804 PostsRegistered 10/6/2004Western Maryland

I have found over the years that many who I did not like ended up pretty great people.

We were at a square dance as a new dancer and one of the experienced couples in the square rudely asked for our diploma. I was so hurt that I never even came into the same room with them.

Finally we met once again and they turned out to be wonderful and the prize moment was when they asked if we would join them. We have now been friends for over 10 years. And I never bring up the incident.

FrostyBabe1298217370.5673179 PostsRegistered 10/6/2004in the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location

Professionally, everyone is treated the same, although it's obviously a greater pleasurer to work with clients that I like.

Personally, I stay away from people that I don't like. It's that simple.

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. ~ Francesca Reigler

chickenbutt1298218776.03324218 PostsRegistered 1/16/2006chickentown

No, I'm not overly polite. I will be as cordial as I can manage, but I don't do 'fake' well. If I don't like somebody I just pretty much keep them off my radar.

Live and let live is the way I go. If they do something to me I will defend myself but, otherwise, they don't really exist in my eyes. Generally speaking, however, they won't be able to do anything to hurt me simply because I do not care. Only if I care about somebody can they hurt me.

Bippity boppity BOOYAH!

PinkyPetun­ia1298219258.1434556 PostsRegistered 10/6/2004NJ

If I don't like someone I keep the interraction short and just address the basic need. I cannot do the small talk with them. Sometimes it's impossible to avoid people who rub you the wrong way (at work, for example).

KentuckyWo­man1298219637.771783 PostsRegistered 10/29/2009

I am usually always tense when I am around someone I don't like and I know they don't like me. I am reserved but polite. Usually noticeably quite. My husband says I go into my "aloof" personality when I am around someone I don't like. Recently, we have been in social settings with an in-law relative of a close cousin of mine. We have been dining out together on Friday nights for sometime. The last time we dined out with them, any time I spoke or added something to the conversation, she challenged everything I said as if she doubted it was a true or intelligent statement. I was on the verge of exploding and crying. I managed to hold it together but we left before dessert. We haven't gone out with them since, which I suspect was her plan.

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