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Beauty Banter

OT: How to convince husband his Just for Men color is too dark??

Started 1287705904.76 in Beauty Banter | Last reply 1287794580.41 by crush

My husband has been using Just for Men haircolor for quite some time. He does not have alot of gray, but he does have enough that he wants it colored....I'd say 30% gray. Sometimes he has good results, but many times he leaves it on too long. It gets too dark (in my opinion). His natural haircolor (w/o the gray) is black; he uses JFM in dark brown. I've tried to gently tell him that it's too dark, but he doesn't see it that way. He also colors his moustache/goatee...sometimes that gets too dark. He will admit when that gets too dark, so he just trims it out a bit to make it look more natural. And that always grows out pretty fast. But I can't get him to see that the hair just doesn't look natural when it's so dark. I've even mentioned to get a shade lighter (more of a medium brown). I know when I color my hair that I go 2-3 shades lighter at least, and it looks much more natural.

Has anyone else had this dilemma? I don't want to hurt his feelings, but he can be stubborn about these kind of things. If he sees it one way, it's hard to convince him otherwise. Yes, I know...it eventually fades/grows out...but it takes a week or two to look better. I know some will think I'm more concerned with myself, but I really don't want people to look at him and say..."Wow, he just colored his hair!" He's a wonderful man and good-looking WITHOUT the color.

Should I just keep my mouth closed or maybe next time offer to buy the coloring for him and get the wrong shade (the lighter shade{#emotions_dlg.ohmy})? What do I do if he still keeps leaving it on too long?? Help me please!

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Bridgegal1287706276.6073256 PostsRegistered 3/18/2007Philly area

Since I buy the beauty products in our house, I just bought the next lighter shade. I thought my DH's was too dark too . He never even noticed. Looks much better.

CarolynFro­mLongIsland1287706290.652682 PostsRegistered 10/12/2006

start telling him how hot you think George Clooney's salt and pepper hair is!

Carolyn

crush1287706387.3772132 PostsRegistered 10/7/2005NC
On 10/21/2010 Bridgegal said:

Since I buy the beauty products in our house, I just bought the next lighter shade. I thought my DH's was too dark too . He never even noticed. Looks much better.

Yeah...I kind of thought I should do that. I normally buy them, but he tells me what shade he'd like. This last time, he went to the store and got it on his own. Next time, I'll "accidentally" get the wrong shade!!

crush1287706583.212132 PostsRegistered 10/7/2005NC
On 10/21/2010 CarolynFromLongIsland said:

start telling him how hot you think George Clooney's salt and pepper hair is!

Believe me, I've TOLD him how much I like him with some of the gray...I tell him it's s*e*x*y; he doesn't see it that way. I guess I can understand to an extent; I definitely look better when I put some coloring on my hair. But I always know if I get it too dark. The difference is....I use semi or demi-permanent. So I can wash it a couple of times and it looks better right away. The JFM is permanent...takes longer!

irishwoman1287706839.332168 PostsRegistered 3/23/2006

my husband used that for a long time too..

after awhile, it startd to look bad on him, because he was getting way to gray for it, now..he is all natural!!!!!

he has always had med brown hair, but he looks darn good with his gray too!{#emotions_dlg.thumbup}

bren

scottygal1287707040.5631866 PostsRegistered 4/6/2006

How about putting a clarifying shampoo (they usually remove alot of color) in the bath to replace the reg. shampoo, right after he's colored his hair? He may not notice the shampoo is making his hair color a little softer. (someday, he may thank you....)

RedConvert­ibleGirl1287707070.7814431 PostsRegistered 9/3/2005Pacific NW

Um, just come right out and tell him! There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to tell each other what you think of the hair. No big deal.

When we shoulder the mantle of compassion no cry goes unheard and no wound goes unhealed. In this world of seemingly endless suffering we have to believe that no one is beyond hope of rescue. Scotlund Haisley, Animal Rescue Corps

mars011287707173.12377 PostsRegistered 3/5/2008

Take some pictures of him when you think he looks good, as well as when he has gotten it too dark! Pictures do not lie---

crush1287707679.7632132 PostsRegistered 10/7/2005NC
On 10/21/2010 RedConvertibleGirl said:

Um, just come right out and tell him! There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to tell each other what you think of the hair. No big deal.

I HAVE told him I think it's too dark...then I follow it up with something about it looking more natural when it's lighter. He's not the type of person to let things bother him, but for some reason, he gets a little defensive about that...go figure!

Hearts4Me1287708161.671602 PostsRegistered 9/27/2005
I'd just be thankful if my DH had hair...! :)

Hearts4Me1287708176.111602 PostsRegistered 9/27/2005

sorry for the double post - pages loading too slow

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noposting1287708346.8973577 PostsRegistered 11/18/2005
You can't. Sounds just like my dad. If he thinks it looks good he wont listen or comprehend n

gypsy21287710041.3931913 PostsRegistered 5/24/2010

I have seen some men that have the really dark shade and it does look so fake. I think the clarifying shampoo is a good idea if he refuses to listen to you. It will take some of the harshness out.

ProductGuy1287752733.687474 PostsRegistered 6/15/2006

From a 58-year-old guy's perspective, IMHO, hair color, even labeled Just For Men, doesn't work on men. I think hair color on women looks great. I don't know whether it's because it's professionally done or not; but when I see men who color their hair, it's always too dark and it's all one shade and just doesn't look natural.

Maybe you can convince him he'd look better if he had it professionally colored so they could pull some strands through a cap or use foil and make it look right.

Anyone remember the I Love Lucy episode when Ricky thought he was going bald??? It just flashed into my head. {#emotions_dlg.biggrin}

csv3201287752808.6976724 PostsRegistered 6/24/2007

Why don't you just say "you're hair is too dark?"

lovetosing1287758026.966144 PostsRegistered 4/3/2006

This reminds me of my son who is 8 and he asked his dad to dye his hair because he does not like the gray in it. My son hates anything that reminds him of time going by fast or getting older. LOL The other day I was flipping through his homework calendar from last year and I said, wow time is going by so fast and he said, "Oh Mom, that is just because you are flipping the pages so quickly." LOL

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In the end everything will be okay, if it is not it is not the end - Jason Castro

Pearlbaby1287759007.896340 PostsRegistered 12/2/2009
On 10/22/2010 lovetosing said:

This reminds me of my son who is 8 and he asked his dad to dye his hair because he does not like the gray in it. My son hates anything that reminds him of time going by fast or getting older. LOL The other day I was flipping through his homework calendar from last year and I said, wow time is going by so fast and he said, "Oh Mom, that is just because you are flipping the pages so quickly." LOL

Last edited on 10/22/2010

Aw sounds cute. Thats a nice age.

cpn2jxp1287760994.147511 PostsRegistered 9/12/2007

Find some hot young girl to tell him!! Seriously, ever notice how we can tell them something over and over again and then someone else tells them and then they listen??

IMO I have never seen a guy with any amount of gray that looks bad. Women yes, men just always look good. The only "look" on any man that is bad is the dreaded "comb-over".

luvmyteddy1287761460.788855 PostsRegistered 9/4/2010Royals/Chiefs

You should always pick a color that is a shade lighter than your normal hair color. They usually come out too dark. Or try to convince him not to leave on as long. Take the timer away from him and turn it up 5 minutes when he's not looking.Wink

Must love dogs and cats

Arizona gi­rl1287761489.617137 PostsRegistered 12/1/2008

My dad used to use this until he developed an allergic reaction from it. Break outs and rashes around his hairline. Now,he happily sport his salt and pepper hair. He is very distinguished and handsome and have a lot of women flirting with him.

lulu21287763376.24321649 PostsRegistered 8/1/2007

I want to know how you ladies even got your husband to use it.

LipstickDi­va1287763549.73739165 PostsRegistered 4/22/2005On the Lake in Ohio

I'm rather direct myself. I would just say "dude. That color ain't workin for ya." LOL

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You can't buy love but you can adopt it. Adopt, don't shop.

VanSleepy1287767524.1873027 PostsRegistered 10/5/2010

I don't know how long it takes to grow/wash out, but maybe you could get him to just TRY the lighter shade next, and if he still thinks darker is better, you won't bug him anymore.

Dachsie1287767806.0372607 PostsRegistered 6/4/2006

Why don't you just tune your TV in to that huckster TV preacher that is on Sunday mornings that is about 90 years old but has dyed black hair and a "sexy" swath of hair hanging down on his forehead.

That oughta do it !

iachick1287770680.833102 PostsRegistered 9/1/2008
On 10/22/2010 VanSleepy said:

I don't know how long it takes to grow/wash out, but maybe you could get him to just TRY the lighter shade next, and if he still thinks darker is better, you won't bug him anymore.

This is sounds like a good compromise but ultimately, I guess the decision is his...just like the decision on what makeup we wear is ours!Kiss

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