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My son leaves for basic military training....

Started 1297215266.44 in Among Friends | Last reply 1297399524.91 by kinda korny

on April 11 and I am scared to death. Are there any parents out there who can give me words of wisdom or comfort. This is something he has wanted for himself for a long time and he has been in the delayed entry program since June waiting for a job to be reserved for him. I thought in that time I would have come around to the idea of him leaving. Guess I was wrong. The call came from my son's recruiter today that he will be getting his first job choice, Security Forces and that he leaves for BMT on April 11. I know I raised a good young man, I know that for sure....it's just especially hard for me now knowing the exact date that he leaves. I am wondering if there are any military moms out there who can tell me how you get through those first few months. I do not want him to be worrying about how I am feeling when he needs to be concentrating on that.

Now, I need to book a flight and hotel for his graduation. So any suggestions for a nice hotel near Lackland AFB, TX would be most helpful.

The truth is everyone is going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain.


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leehare1297216105.9731805 PostsRegistered 4/7/2010

there are many good Hotels around there, just go on line. and in order for your son not to worry about you-you know exactly what to do--be the best mom you can be-nothing harder than to see them walk away. And if you need to, fall apart by yourself, like many of us do. an extra I love you and of course "don't forget how I raised you!"--you'll do fine. And there are thousands of prayers for our soldiers daily.

usafwife4e­ver1297216500.58331 PostsRegistered 2/8/2011

Not a mom of an AF son but the wife of a 25 year AF man that has been in since he was 18. Pray for your son and give him your blessing. He will be tested to the limits and times will be tough for him and he needs to know that you are always there for him. I think sometimes that we, as parents, have a natural tendancy to make our children feel guilty without even realizing it. Just be there and you will have a son that will be a wonderful young man. I will be praying for you and your son. There are many groups of families of the military and you will very soon feel the pride in your heart that is a son serving his country. Thank him from my husband and me. Blessing to you and your son!

kinda korny1297217607.2331186 PostsRegistered 12/10/2007WI

leehare- you are correct, I cannot break down in front of him. I am keeping that in check, as much as I can anyway.

usafwife- my dad was in the military as I was growing up...but this is a whole different ball game having a child join. I am so proud of him, but you are right, I think I might be inadvertantly making him feel guilty. Thank you for the prayers and the thoughtful words. I know that many people are not fans of facebook, but I found a support group there of Air Force mom's so I am hoping they will also provide some support and maybe I will learn a few things too. Thanks also, to you and your husband for his service.

The truth is everyone is going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain.


StylishLady1297218377.2533918 PostsRegistered 11/25/2009Florida

God bless your son and our military. He'll be fine. My husband served in the Army before we were married and my older son served in the Air Force. Our nation is safe because of the people who serve.

Sabatini21297219106.262912 PostsRegistered 11/13/2010

kinda korny,

I do understand how you're feeling, & have had 2 sons in the military.

Back when my oldest son turned 18 & left to join the Marines, I was a wreck! Somehow, I thought that when my child left home, I'd be a version of Barbara Bush, standing on the front porch & waving a handkerchief 'goodbye, son!' But here I was - just the same old me, & I wasn't ready to let him go!

That was in the late nineties, & my son went to the Middle East as part of Operation Desert Fox. I was sickened thinking about him over there, & was a mess at work, but my boss at the time gave me some advice.

He said 'Go ahead & worry, but know this. One day your son will look back on this time, & think of it as a highlight in his life, and one which he'd gladly repeat. Right now, every pore of his body is at attention, & he's feeling more alive than he's ever been before! He's a machine gunner, & is loving every minute of it. Just tell him that you love him & are proud of him. That's all he needs to know.'

I thought he was crazy, but when my son safely returned home, (thank God) he agreed 100% w/ what my boss had said. Semper Fi!

My youngest son also just got out of the military a few months ago, and had 2 tours of duty in Afghanistan, which he (and I) also survived. He doesn't regret it either.

kk, it's something that he wants to do, so just support him as best you can.

And please thank him from me for his efforts!

Be well.

kinda korny1297219519.661186 PostsRegistered 12/10/2007WI

sabatini- thank you for the words of encouragement...I know in my heart that he is going to do well and be fine, but it is still nice to hear from other mom's.

stylish- thank you. I have much respect for those that serve. thanks to your family for that.

The truth is everyone is going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain.


mactavish1297220438.887432 PostsRegistered 1/30/2008

Hi,

Both you, and your son, will be in my prayers. You are going to do fine. Once your son can start receiving mail, send him lots of cheerful newsy letters. Check out "Blue Star Mothers" on facebook. They might have a group in your area.

My oldest son was my first experience with the military. He went into the Coast Guard. Basic training was on the east coast, we live on the west coast. He was in the Coast Guard for about four years, then decided to switch over to the Army. More basic training. He is currently a Captain in the Army.

My second oldest son introduced me to basic training for the CHP. Again, write lots of letters. : ) He has been an officer for many years, and is enjoying it.

My son-in-law just graduated basic training for the Air Force last year, and is currently stationed on the east coast. (Bad part about that was he took my daughter. {#emotions_dlg.crying} ) He, and my daughter, are a very nice young couple. If you would like to contact them, or if your son would, I know they would be happy to walk you through some of the things to expect, and answer as many questions as they can for you. Including hotel ideas. Let me know, and I can send you their email address. Or, if you'd ever like to talk, I can send you mine.

It's ok to cry, heck, it's what we Mom's do. Your love for your son shines through in your writing, and with that behind him, he will do great. And so will you.

Blessings.

~Tiger Lil­y~1297220765.163574 PostsRegistered 12/26/2007*FrOm OuTeR SpAcE*

You must be so proud of him!! What an honor to serve our great country, Godspeed to your son!!

~~Bullet with Butterfly Wings~~

*And someone will say what is lost can never be saved*
*And I still believe that I cannot be saved*


bonniehound1297220895.603235 PostsRegistered 2/2/2009California

My son left for basic training for the Navy right from high school. I was scared for him but then I was/am so proud of him I just knew he would be OK. It's been16 years and he's still in service stationed in Norfolk VA. He's been to Iraq 3 times. I pray for you son. Let him know how proud you are and please thank him for his service and also thank you for raising a good man. God bless your family.

kinda korny1297222088.2771186 PostsRegistered 12/10/2007WI
On 2/8/2011 Tiger Lily327 said:

You must be so proud of him!! What an honor to serve our great country, Godspeed to your son!!

I am so unbelievably proud! He is such a wonderful young man, it's hard to believe that he is all grown up now...he turns 19 next week.

The truth is everyone is going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain.


kinda korny1297222283.3671186 PostsRegistered 12/10/2007WI
On 2/8/2011 bonniehound said:

My son left for basic training for the Navy right from high school. I was scared for him but then I was/am so proud of him I just knew he would be OK. It's been16 years and he's still in service stationed in Norfolk VA. He's been to Iraq 3 times. I pray for you son. Let him know how proud you are and please thank him for his service and also thank you for raising a good man. God bless your family.

Thank you and your son! I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but it is nice to hear from other parents who have been through this. I also found a support group online that has so much information and some very friendly moms.

The truth is everyone is going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain.


kinda korny1297222520.1131186 PostsRegistered 12/10/2007WI

mactavish- thanks for offering to let me speak with your son in law and daughter. I will definitely keep this in mind. I am looking at possibly staying at the hotel on the base, it would be so much easier, but I am not sure how easy that will be to get into. I will definitely look into "Blue Star mothers"

Thank you so much for your kind words! It really does make a difference. Just listening to others experience makes it a little easier for me. Thanks to your family for their service.

The truth is everyone is going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain.


Sweetiepie21297222926.213391 PostsRegistered 2/4/2006

Dear Kinda Korny, I just have one 22 yo daughter but I just would like to tell you that I am so proud of your son and can only imagine how hard this must be for you. Please, please, please thank him for me for serving our country and give him a hug. I will keep him and your family in my prayers {#emotions_dlg.wub}

kinda korny1297223252.1031186 PostsRegistered 12/10/2007WI
On 2/8/2011 Romeosydney said:

Dear Kinda Korny, I just have one 22 yo daughter but I just would like to tell you that I am so proud of your son and can only imagine how hard this must be for you. Please, please, please thank him for me for serving our country and give him a hug. I will keep him and your family in my prayers {#emotions_dlg.wub}

Thank you so much Romeo! It is difficult, but I am finding support in others who are experiencing or have already experienced the same thing. I will thank him and hug him, how nice of you to show your respect. Prayers are always good....many thanks Smile

The truth is everyone is going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain.


smoochy1297223731.5172516 PostsRegistered 10/8/2006pure Michigan!

my daughter was active duty in the US ARMY for five years, enlisted right after h.s. graduation. The day she left for basic training and I watched the van take her away I lost it. It was my birthday. the worst ever. She looked so pale and scared. Five years later she was honorably discharged, again on my birthday, last summer. best birthday ever!The fear of her being deployed was always present. Fortunately that did not happen as her MOS was broadcast journalist~ she worked at AFN-Bavaria for her first two years. the last three were at Ft. Bragg in N.C. I remember being a hot mess at work for about two weeks after she left for basic. Then when she went to Europe.. my BABY! so far from her mama. *sigh* We saved up and went to Germany to see her in 07, it was a dream trip. Now she's away at college and also in the Army Reserves. Good luck to you and your family.

kinda korny1297224940.0071186 PostsRegistered 12/10/2007WI
On 2/8/2011 smoochy said:

my daughter was active duty in the US ARMY for five years, enlisted right after h.s. graduation. The day she left for basic training and I watched the van take her away I lost it. It was my birthday. the worst ever. She looked so pale and scared. Five years later she was honorably discharged, again on my birthday, last summer. best birthday ever!The fear of her being deployed was always present. Fortunately that did not happen as her MOS was broadcast journalist~ she worked at AFN-Bavaria for her first two years. the last three were at Ft. Bragg in N.C. I remember being a hot mess at work for about two weeks after she left for basic. Then when she went to Europe.. my BABY! so far from her mama. *sigh* We saved up and went to Germany to see her in 07, it was a dream trip. Now she's away at college and also in the Army Reserves. Good luck to you and your family.

LOL...that is probably how I will be!! It's hard letting them go and live their lives. I have to keep telling myself that it is his life to live now, his dreams to fulfill and his happiness to create....but I am going to miss him like crazy!

The truth is everyone is going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain.


smoochy1297225690.152516 PostsRegistered 10/8/2006pure Michigan!

kinda korny, I still have every letter she wrote for about the first year. She wrote often, was homesick. The first phone call that was allowed in Basic had a time limit of five minutes. I could tell she was trying real hard not to cry. man that was hard. but time passed, she learned how to be a soldier and how to do her specific job. The first time she came home on leave I could already see the change~the growing maturity and confidence. You will likely experience all these things with your son. an interesting side note, after a couple of years, and again after they are discharged, you will really notice a difference between them and their same age friends who weren't in the military. In terms of maturity, authority, global awareness. My daughter was producing tv news in Europe for AFN, doing on-camera feature stories, and dj'd her own radio show at the tender age of 19. Just to mention a few experiences. You must keep us military moms posted about your boy's experiences, I would love to hear all about it whenever you want to "talk" to us here.

kinda korny1297226031.141186 PostsRegistered 12/10/2007WI
On 2/8/2011 smoochy said:

kinda korny, I still have every letter she wrote for about the first year. She wrote often, was homesick. The first phone call that was allowed in Basic had a time limit of five minutes. I could tell she was trying real hard not to cry. man that was hard. but time passed, she learned how to be a soldier and how to do her specific job. The first time she came home on leave I could already see the change~the growing maturity and confidence. You will likely experience all these things with your son. an interesting side note, after a couple of years, and again after they are discharged, you will really notice a difference between them and their same age friends who weren't in the military. In terms of maturity, authority, global awareness. My daughter was producing tv news in Europe for AFN, doing on-camera feature stories, and dj'd her own radio show at the tender age of 19. Just to mention a few experiences. You must keep us military moms posted about your boy's experiences, I would love to hear all about it whenever you want to "talk" to us here.

I will probably keep everything he ever sends me. I still have special art projects and such that he made me from Kindergarten and through the years. Yes, I have heard that the change in maturity in noticeable. Good for you daughter, I bet she loved all of it, and look at the experience she has gained. I would love to keep you informed, though I probably won't have much more to write about until he actually leaves in April, but the more I can talk about it, the better I feel. Thank you so much Smoochy. {#emotions_dlg.wub}

The truth is everyone is going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain.


smoochy12972265892516 PostsRegistered 10/8/2006pure Michigan!

Smile (((hugs to korny)))

mysterylady1297297132.987715 PostsRegistered 8/23/2009

Kinda Korny - My daughter's been in the army for 22 years - both active duty and reserves. She had nearly finished a post bacularret degree in profesional field when she decided she wanted to do a military internship. They sent her to Germany - I put her on that big plane and didn't hear from her for two weeks. (Very scarey) But she enjoyed it and when she graduated she put in her first 7 years active duty - 3 back in Germany and we visited. Wonderful trip. Then 13 years reserves - 6 -2wk stints in her favorite country - Germany during her required annual active duty. She has also spent some time with additional study. Three yrs. ago she left her civilian career to go back on active duty. She absolutely loves the military -is currently a Lieut Col. I know she would not be adverse to deployment. I am always on edge thinking one day she may go before her career ends. I couldn't be prouder of her accomplishments but I can certainly relate to what you're feeling. My prayers are with you and your son.

crdlb1297297396.63313059 PostsRegistered 6/24/2009So. Cal.

Good luck to him!

kinda korny1297303075.041186 PostsRegistered 12/10/2007WI
On 2/9/2011 mysterylady said:

Kinda Korny - My daughter's been in the army for 22 years - both active duty and reserves. She had nearly finished a post bacularret degree in profesional field when she decided she wanted to do a military internship. They sent her to Germany - I put her on that big plane and didn't hear from her for two weeks. (Very scarey) But she enjoyed it and when she graduated she put in her first 7 years active duty - 3 back in Germany and we visited. Wonderful trip. Then 13 years reserves - 6 -2wk stints in her favorite country - Germany during her required annual active duty. She has also spent some time with additional study. Three yrs. ago she left her civilian career to go back on active duty. She absolutely loves the military -is currently a Lieut Col. I know she would not be adverse to deployment. I am always on edge thinking one day she may go before her career ends. I couldn't be prouder of her accomplishments but I can certainly relate to what you're feeling. My prayers are with you and your son.

22 years, that is wonderful!! I am so glad that she enjoys what she does! We definitely need people like her in our Armed Forces!! Thanks for the kind words and prayers.

The truth is everyone is going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain.


kinda korny1297303093.471186 PostsRegistered 12/10/2007WI
On 2/9/2011 crdlb said:

Good luck to him!

Thank you very much!

The truth is everyone is going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain.


Queen of S­cott1297305224.9631031 PostsRegistered 3/24/2010
Hi. My son is a Linguist in the USAF. He was also in the delayed entry program (for almost a year). He left for BMT in November of 2008, after graduating from high school in May. Being in the USAF had been his dream since he was quite young. Because he had to learn Persian Farsi, he was in school for almost 2 years after BMT. He is now at his permanent duty station in Augusta. He was always a good kid, but being in the Air Force has been so good for him. It really matured him in a short amount of time. I know it is hard to let your son go.... I had a really difficult time myself. I couldn't bear the thought of anyone being "mean" to my baby, and I just hated for him to go off all alone. That 6 and a half weeks of BMT was LONG (and he was in the last 6 and a half week class....I believe now it is 8 and a half weeks). I lived for those few phone calls that he was allowed to make home. I think even more than those, he lived for the letters we would send him. I guess that would probably be my best piece of advice....write him often. He will treasure those letters from home. I remember that one Sunday when they passed out mail, our son didn't get any (I wS late getting them in the mail) and he sounded heartbroken when he called. I felt so bad. I made sure to put them in the mail frequently after that. Also, I would echo what some others have said about trying to be upbeat around your son. I am afraid I didn't do very well with that, though I tried. I know he felt bad that I was sad and he wanted me to be happy for him. He saw it as a great adventure! I wrote him a letter telling him how much I loved him and how very proud his Dad and I were of him. I tucked it into his duffle bag the night before he left for BMT. I can't recommend a specific hotel when you go to San Antonio for his gradution, but I would definitely suggest making sure you are as near the base as possible. We stayed a little too far. All the graduation events were wonderful. I will never forget lining up along the street where the guys (and girls) who were going to graduate would run by on the first morning we were there. We were straining to get a look at our son, among the hundreds that ran by. It was so wonderful when we spotted him running by! It was a moment my husband and I will never forget! All the best to your son in his Air Force career!

Love Roses1297351894.54310150 PostsRegistered 1/10/2007

Korny

My best and all my admiration and appreciation to your son. To any who have served in the US military, the same. I know you are a loving and concerned mom. I know that this nation which is a tapestry of peoples, has the best military that the history of mankind has ever seen. Take care of yourself during your worried hours while he goes off to basic training.

Never Forget - The Native American Indian Holocausts!

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