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“What are your favorite…baby names?” I asked to my not yet husband,  one gorgeous fall evening while walking down Manhattan Beach Boulevard in Southern California. Days before, we’d started playing this game where we would ask each other to name their favorites in a particular category as a way to get to know each other even better. Though at this point, to me it didn’t matter, I was smitten and completely in love. We were still counting our couple status in weeks at that point, but it felt like months since our first official date never really ended.

“I don’t know,” he replied, honestly thinking about what he would name his kids instead of completely freaking out like any other twenty-eight year old would when blindsided by this question from someone he just started dating.

“What about you?” he volleyed.

“Grace for a girl. I love that name, but for a boy…,” I trailed off.

 “I like strong, biblical, traditional names. Maybe Ben?” I had these two close friends in my high school youth group who were brother and sister. His name was Ben. He was this adorable, wholesome, southern Californian skater boy who loved Jesus. I always felt safe and happy around him. He was like a brother to me. His face popped into my head and it felt cozy.

“Yea… I like Ben.” The handsome man with the dark hair and happy eyes said back to me. “Grace and Ben.”  He looked at me again, smiling, almost settling on the picture of our future we had just discussed.  He squeezed me a little closer and we walked in step toward the ocean. His eyes held mine for a few seconds longer, getting gradually wider with that glimpse of what could be one day….

That was five months before we were engaged, seventeen months before we were married and four and a half years before our first miscarriage. Five years later we were diagnosed with infertility, and it seemed like an eternity before we were truly given God’s Grace.

Our faith was something my husband and I had in common immediately.  When I met him I was instantly drawn to that and I know he was put in my path by the Lord. At the time I prayed for the Lord’s favor in my life but was deliberately disobeying Him in so many areas of my life.  My husband fell into my life by the true grace of God. I did not deserve him. But that is the definition of Grace; undeserved favor, so its not a coincidence that we one day hoped to name our child Grace.

Today that child we spoke about nearly eight years before she was born to another woman is five and a half years old and the ultimate gift from God.  She was adopted at birth and placed into my arms seconds after she took her first breath.  That handsome man, who so easily accepted my love and got down on two knees to ask for my hand in marriage despite all my baggage, was frantically trying to get home from a business trip to meet his daughter. She was three weeks early (and four years late according to our plan,) but right on time for God.

The months leading up to her birth after we were matched with her birth parents and we knew she was coming, my aunt introduced me to the Grace line at philosophy. From the moment I read the inspiration on the bottles and jars, saw the pink packaging and inhaled the heavenly scent, I was hooked. The nursery and bathroom had bottles and jars of Grace, and to this day, I have Amazing Grace throughout my home.  Grace and her slightly younger sister Georgia call it the “Grace lotion” and always ask where the “Georgia lotion” is. That amazing Grace scent, will always take me back to the time we were waiting for Grace.  Not just the gorgeous baby girl, but also the undeserved favor from our Lord.

Ben never made an appearance, miscarriages and infertility can rob you of the family you once dreamed of, but we are so blessed by our Grace and our little miracle Georgia, and who knows, God has a plan, and while it might not be our time line or the picture we painted when we were in our 20’s, it is always filled with His Grace.

(To shop the brand new Amazing Grace TSV, click here > philosophy 8 piece grace & love fragrance collection I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!!)

 I have so much to celebrate in life and am so thankful for everything.  To read the full story in one of my earlier blogs click here > What Grace Means to Me Blog and The Girls 5 Months Apart blog.

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Have a blessed Mommy day!

xo

Kerstin