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A long time ago someone told me that I would be able to tell time by the age of my child...that same person told me that I would never know a love so strong as the love for my child...

The birth of your baby is always a miracle and I had lots of support at the Q as the stork arrived a few times in the same year...Within a few months, MaryBeth had Ryan, Jane had Cara, Donna(retired host) had Anna and I had Nicole...First I should shout out to my boss Jack Comstock for not even flinching when I was the fourth host to tell him that I was expecting...Dan who never even noticed that I was consuming alot of crackers during the show to help with the morning sickness and MaryBeth for all of her advice as she was the veteran in the group of all first time mom's...We were so blessed with each birth of healthy babies...

I was able to introduce all of you to Nicole before one of my 18Kt gold shows...she was wearing her christening dress and I was holding her as my heart was not sure I was brave enough to let go of her...

I survived the working mom guilt and worry with the support of the women at the Q...Fast forward in our journey eighteen years and my friend was so right about telling the passage of time by your children....all of our kids have graduated and are moving on to pursue their dreams..

I have to be honest to say that I have been dragging my feet this past year with the realization that my world will change dramatically with Nicole off to college...She is so excited to be going off to college and I am giving it the old college try with a great big lump in my throat...

I have savored every moment of this year....volunteering so that I could enjoy dance from the wings as a dance mom and going into school to help coach the VEI finance team who competed in NYC...Enjoying all of those big moments as well as the little moments in life... from movies that made us both cry and laugh to a Christmas tree that we could not push through the front door....I savored the moments of pride when other mom's at dance told me that their daughter's looked up to Nicole...or the fact that she is willing to give up a week at the beach to help with the dancecamp for the local homeless children in our area...

I will miss all of this more than I can put into words...and if I am honest I will tell you that I never thought this would be what my life would be like at fifty something...I have promised myself to take better care of myself and share the total gym with the cats...hopefully me exercising as they nap...I am looking forward to finding more time to discover many things…I may try yoga or a Pilates class.. I want to read, garden, maybe take a college course or two…I will be organizing and painting the house..maybe a larger garden in the spring from seeds..

I know that I need to look forward and let go of the past...so I will give myself a long cry as I bravely let go of her hand...I decided to believe in this thought from Winnie the Pooh:

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think”....advice that I am giving to Nicole and hopefully take to heart...as I search for my new beginning I count my blessings to have a job that I so love with friends and family to support me along my journey..here is to hoping that you will join me on my journey...how lucky I am to have been blessed with a daughter that makes saying goodbye so hard..

 To new beginnings.. maybe I will start with a nap....

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