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The Thanksgiving that changed my life….

by on ‎11-25-2014 01:38 PM

My Dad and Mom 1998


[My Dad and Mom 1998]


 


In 2001, I was living in South Africa when my family’s world was turned upside down. It was October 30th and I was back in the US visiting my parent’s when I answered their phone at 9am.  It was one of my mom’s tennis partners who told me my mom had gotten in a car accident on the way to her tennis match and that they were taking her to our local hospital.  I quickly got dressed and headed to the hospital which wasn’t far from our home.  My drive to the hospital took me past the sight of the accident where her friends were still outside by her car. They flagged me down and I soon learned what I thought was a fender bender ended up to be much worse than I could have ever imagined.  As I drove to the hospital, my mind began to race and my heart began to tighten as I began to pray for a blessing. 


I rushed to the hospital where I was greeted by one of her best friends of over 50 years who was crying uncontrollably. She informed me my Dad was with the doctors and she hadn’t heard much.  When they brought my mom in she was breathing, but had no movement below her neck.  I won’t take you through all the details, but the next 9 months shook me and my family to the core.  I am beyond blessed to share with you that my mom returned home from that drive 9 months later, a quadriplegic.  Her body may have been broken that day, but her spirit still shines bright.


 


My mom & her friends


[My mom is blessed with great friends; Ginny & Penny have been friends with my mom since high school & college]


 


I learned during those 9 months she was in the hospital that there are 2 types of medicine; one that heals the body and one that feeds the soul.  While I didn’t have the medical knowledge of her amazing team of doctors, I did have 28 years as her son and knew better than anyone how to feed her soul.


As focused as she and her doctors were on her rehabilitation, I knew one of her biggest concerns was what type of life she could live outside of the hospital and that her new life would not be a burden on our family.


 As I stayed with her during those nights, she shared many of her concerns of what her new life would look like as a woman who had to depend on others to do.  As horrific as the event was, the blessing of getting to know my mom not just as her son but as an individual on her own journey is something that I will treasure forever.


Thanksgiving took place during her first month in the hospital.  I thought this would be a perfect time to show her what holidays in the future would look like.  That just because she couldn’t physically prepare, create, and host Thanksgiving, that didn’t mean it couldn’t happen and she still couldn’t be the hostess.


So, two days before Thanksgiving I enlisted the help of a family friend and we devised a plan to surprise my mom and dad with our traditional Thanksgiving Dinner at her hospital.  We woke up at 3am Thanksgiving morning and started to make my mom’s Thanksgiving dinner for 25 expected friends and family to surprise my parents.


 Since I spent so many years in the kitchen with her, it was quite easy.  We made everything from her ‘Brown Bag’ style Turkey, to her homemade mash potatoes, the gravy (just the way my dad likes it) and all the other trimmings that were part of her tradition.  My brothers brought all the folding tables and chairs they could find and I went by my parent’s home and got many of her Thanksgiving decorations, serving platters, and family photos so I could recreate the formal dining room table where we normally ate our Thanksgiving dinner.


We arrived Thanksgiving afternoon at the hospital where my brothers were waiting and we unloaded all the tables, chairs, and everything else you could imagine.  We set up everything in the hallway outside her room.   As we were setting up the rest of our family and friends arrived and waited in the hallway with us. Once the tables were set and the food was placed, we opened up her door and proceeded to carry in the dressed tables into her room.  She was beyond shocked.  My dad just kept saying ‘you guys are crazy’ as they sat in disbelief, tears running down both of their faces.


For the first time since the accident, I saw glimpses of my mom from before the accident, except this time instead of her doing everything, she was telling me what to do. (ha ha)  She had me serving, refilling glasses, and making sure to invite everyone on the floor to her room for Thanksgiving.  She sent me down the hall to find out who didn’t have family coming. I had to make sure all the doctors and nurses knew to come by to eat, laugh, and celebrate with our family.  For the first time that afternoon, I think we all felt a sense of normalcy and had a glimpse of what our future as a family could be. 


It was that Thanksgiving dinner down at Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami that I realized just how thankful and blessed I truly am.  That was the day that my mom started to come back to us.  Thirteen years later and seven grandkids, I’m headed over to my parent’s home to cook a Thanksgiving meal and celebrate the blessings of life.


I would have loved to share some pictures from that Thanksgiving dinner but the entire time my mom was in the hospital she had asked that we didn’t take photos of her.  Here are some photos from some other Thanksgiving holidays, some before the accident and a couple after.


Please take time this Thanksgiving to share your love with family & friends.  Life is a blessing and remember; ‘In the end, everything will be all right, and if it’s not all right, then it’s not the end.’


Safe Travels / Scott


My Mom and best friend Mary Ellen


[1990's Thanksgiving before the accident; My mom and one of her best friends Mary Ellen…. Dressing up as pilgrims isn’t normal in your house.. ha ha]


Friends


[1990's Thanksgiving before the accident:  A group shot of some of the friends who shared Thanksgiving with us that year.]


My Mom and Olive


[2013: How blessed am I that my daughter Olive gets to grow up with my mom… in the end it was all right.]