Blogs

I’m sitting back and listening to a conversation at lunch.  Usually I’m the one talking, but no one here knows one another, so I am enjoying the sound of something other than my own voice. The brunette to my left is reliving the weeks after her premature boys were born and the desperation and loneliness she felt as the doctors piled on bad news. It takes her all of 30 seconds to get to the point, which is, she went to the internet and mommy blogs in order to find other parents like her who could give her hope and make her feel like she wasn’t alone.

I start crying into my quinoa and kale lunch.

It wasn’t the story, though sick babies will put me in tears every time, it was the fact that she found comfort with strangers online.  It reminded me of why I started blogging five years ago. It was the exact feelings I had when I was dealing with the third year of infertility and the terror of adoption.  No one was talking to me about this deep loss I was experiencing, at least not honestly, and the online community was just beginning to empower women to discuss the shame.  So I started writing. I put each brutal experience into words and found that I was not alone. 

Hearing that mom of now healthy toddler boy’s talk about the comfort she found during the worst time of her life was a swift kick to my stomach from our heavenly father reminding me to keep on writing. Over the years, my blogs have been shared and read by hundreds of thousands of people. Before QVC I blogged for ABC news in San Diego. My stories have been picked up and shared on different websites and even quoted in Parenting Magazines. The letters and emails I get from women like me have kept me going. But, after five years of talking about and working through the pain, I sometimes wonder how long I can keep it up. 

Being at one of the largest blogging and social media conferences in the world, BlogHer, really helped me take another look at why I write.  

More than any other groups of people, bloggers have the ability to change the conversation.

We were asked to think about that for a minute, and you should too.  Journalists give us unbiased information, authors hand us something to read for entertainment or reference, but bloggers give us opinions and breach topics that many of us think about, but don’t have the courage to say out loud.  And then, in most cases, we all get a chance to comment. 

Of course that comment section is one of the reasons I have contemplated shutting down my laptop and keeping my stories to myself. Kerry Washington (of Scandal, love that show don’t you?) was at the conference and she urged us to not read the comments. She said, “it’s brain clutter…it’s none of my business what you think of me.” 

But, for most of us mortals, it’s hard to avoid reading what people write about you and not end up getting your feelings hurt. Still, it’s that same comment section that keeps me going. I thrive on hearing from those of you who find comfort in knowing someone else feels just like you do. We really aren’t that different. 

In addition to being inspired to keep writing, I attended other sessions during the three day conference in San Jose, Ca. I took notes through grammar and structure classes (did you know there is now only one space after the period?!) I Heard from the leadership at Twitter (www.twitter.com/kerstinlindqvc by the way, i’d love for you to chat with me in 140 characters) and I vowed to protect my creativity by taking a “digital detox” day each week. 

But, the highlight for me was listening to Arianna Huffington.  

She is a verified media mogul and one of the most powerful women of our time, but she remains down to earth and kind. I felt like I was talking with one of my best friends, she even gave us all her email address. You don’t need to be a blogger to take what she said and apply it to your life, and I really feel like you can benefit from her advice; so here is what I learned.  

“Stop worrying and get more sleep…When you get enough sleep you worry less.” (Now if you can tell me how to do that please!)

“Change the delusion that you need to burn out in order to succeed - that’s an illusion created by men.” (Amen!)

“Don’t do things that make you feel empty.” (Try it just for a day; it’s harder than you think.)

“Every day the world will grab you by the hand and tell you this or that is important and you must take your hand back, put it on your heart and say no this is important.” (You are enough.)

And finally……

“There is no good answer on the scale.” (enough said!)

Women like Arianna Huffington continue to change the conversation and get all of us thinking. I truly feel I have an ability to do that too. There are always going to be people just like me and that mother of premature twins, who will need the words of other women to remind them what they feel is normal.  To be assured we are not alone. I found a group of women who are out there 24/7/365 pouring out their hearts and I realize, none of us can stop, it’s who we are.

So, I’ll be here, blogging, talking, and telling stories, and likely crying in my quinoa. What I can’t promise is my grammar and structure will be any better going forward, but I’m hoping you will have a little mercy on me in the comment section.

Corie Clark.

I have posted more thoughts shared by Arianna Huffington and others like, Corie Clark - Southern California lifestyle blogger, on my facebook page www.facebook.com/kerstinlindquistqvc. I’d love for you to join me there. Be a part of the changing conversation and let me know what you want me blog about.

Stop worrying, get more sleep, turn off your phone, remember what’s important, and have a blessed day.

Xoxox - Kerstin