A couple of days ago I had “one of those days” that I would rather forget. I woke up with an extremely sore and stiff lower back. I have been taking golf lessons the past couple of weeks and my homework assignment is to take 100 swings a day in front of a mirror. I have been doing that faithfully for about a week and a half and I even went to the driving range one day after this exercise. Since I have scoliosis the twisting motion of the golf swing is not the best for my lower back.
That same day my wife noticed that my left eye appeared to be red and swollen. I thought it was from my allergies but it just kept getting worse and by mid-afternoon my eye was almost swollen shut.
Later that day I decided that even though my back was somewhat sore I would still try to take my 100 swings in front of the mirror outside. Now, my wife, Beth, had warned me not to use the mirror that I dragged up from our basement. Her exact words were, “you’ll break it and cut yourself.” As Murphy’s Law would have it my back continued to stiffen up as I took my practice golf swings. I noticed that I was beginning to run short on time as I needed to be into QVC within the hour. I hurriedly set the mirror back in place in the garage. You guessed it! I set it down to hard and it shattered into many, many pieces!
Now this story really gets good. As I was hurrying to try to clean up the broken pieces of the mirror I realized that they were very sharp. Since I had already made part of Beth’s prognostication come true, I decided to put on some thick gloves. I guess they weren’t thick enough as I somehow cut my index finger on a piece that managed to poke through. I was able to get that under control but after double- bagging the other mirror pieces in plastic garbage bags I bent over to pick it up and as I lifted it a piece broke through the bags and cut my left leg significantly. Now, I’m thinking Beth is going to really give it to me when she comes home. My problems were increasing by the minute as my leg was bleeding, my finger was bleeding, my back was killing me and my left eye was almost swollen shut. I hopped into the garage on one foot and grabbed some paper towels to put over my wounds. I was leaving blood stains all over the garage floor. I was hopping on one foot, trying to bend over to keep the paper towel on my leg and my finger and trying desperately to get to the bathroom without spilling another drop. I got my wounds cleaned and bandaged. I went back into the garage and started scrubbing all the stains with soap and water (thinking the entire time that my wife was going to give it to me when she found out).
I decided to head things off at the pass and call Beth on my way into work. I told her the story and confessed my foolish actions and admitted that she “told me so.” After listening for a few minutes she said, “I don’t need to say a word. You have sufficiently beaten yourself up over this and I don’t want to add salt to your many wounds!”
Somehow I managed to get through my on-air shift at QVC that night. The make-up artist worked wonders on my red and swollen eye. I went to the doctor the next day and she laughed when I told her the story and said, “These things tend to happen in threes and you definitely got a three for one with your back, your eye and your mirror wounds!” She gave me a tetanus shot for my cuts and put me on a low dose of steroids for my eye and back. After my show that afternoon on QVC I went straight to my Chiropractor’s office. He got a good laugh out of my story and then adjusted me.
Today I spent about 45 minutes on my Pilates machine and the stretching did wonders for my back. My left eye is only half way closed and my leg and finger are on the mend.
These last few days have reminded me of that children’s book entitled, “A No Good, Terrible, Horrible Day.” But it also reminds me that I have so very much to be thankful for: an understanding wife and the knowledge that most of my days on this earth have been pretty great. The small things that happened to me were nothing more than little irritations. Besides, it’s a pretty funny story. I’m thankful to be alive and well...very thankful. But I’m going to stay away from broken mirrors especially on weekends that begin with Friday, the 13th!
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