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Two years ago today I was recovering from being pregnant. Not so much from the birth (though she was a week late and after 24 hours of labor, the doctor convinced me to ditch my birth plan and have a C-section), but from the 9+ months of being pregnant. For four years, I wanted nothing more in life than to be pregnant. I had lost a baby and it took four rounds of fertility treatments to finally get pregnant with my miracle baby.

When the phone call came on March 16, 2009 (yes, I remember the day the doctor called with good news and no, at that point you don’t even bother peeing on a stick), I vowed to sit on my rear with my feet up for nine months and do everything to protect the pregnancy and enjoy this gift. I tried. I was a fitness instructor and used to working out, so the lack of activity really impacted me mentally. I had always been a chubby kid and gaining weight (while also being on TV, and I’m sorry, but viewers can be mean) was very hard for me. I gained 60 pounds and was beyond uncomfortable.

But, most of all, I was scared. Scared that I'd lose another baby. Scared that losing another one would break me. It had been nearly four years of pain trying to build a family, and I didn’t think I could handle any more heartbreak. So, for 9+ months I was petrified. Once you have a miscarriage, it robs you of an easy, happy pregnancy.

For the first few weeks after Georgia was born, I was in a drug-and-two-infants-induced haze. (I already had a five-month old at home…read that story here.)

I came home from the hospital on Thanksgiving to 11 people at a dinner table. We baptized both babies on Christmas Eve and had nearly EVERY family member on earth in town for Christmas. Don’t misunderstand, I loved it all. I felt relief from no longer being pregnant and gratitude for a safe and healthy (8 lbs. 8 oz.) baby, but I don’t think it was until after the holidays that I was really able to exhale.

That January was a month of release. I let go of the fear that weighed on me while I was pregnant. I began the first month in nearly five years without focusing on making (getting, keeping, producing) a baby. I started working out again in earnest.

I said goodbye to the indulgence of the holidays and donated nearly half of the toys and baby gear we collected over that year. My mantra became live simply. I spent time snuggling and bonding with my two babies and enjoying our new family of four for the first time without dozens of other people around watching and congratulating. I did adore that first holiday season as a mom, and I still do love Christmas and Thanksgiving. The craziness is kind of fun. I don't feel guilty about Christmas cookies and too much wine and mashed potatoes. I love having everyone I love in one place. But, I really do enjoy saying goodbye to all that and getting back to normal. It's kind of a relief to make it through the holidays and into January. Refocus, release, reevaluate. This year is no different.

I kept with yoga all through the holidays (and through my pregnancy), but this year I'm starting P90X to really take care of the holiday indulgence. Something else brand new for me is defining my goals. I started talking with an Anthony Robbins coach a couple of weeks ago, and they're working with me to figure out how to really do that. Even though I just moved here a few months ago, I'm already purging the new house this January. The girls got so many gifts this year that I spent the few days after Christmas weeding out and organizing toys and clothes, and then donating a huge box of both. In the past few months, my skin has really reacted to this weather, as well as my indulgent December diet. I've started looking into exactly what I need to treat the dry skin I've developed. I was a drug-store-moisturizer girl before, but my 34-year-old face needs more. I’m exploring philosophy, but let me know if there's another QVC brand you think I should try for really dry skin! And I’m also using the next week to get ready for the inevitable winter weather. I put it off during the holidays, but now I need to make sure I have the generator, flashlights, snow blower, and everything else a California family needs for their first winter in the snow!

I still think of that January two years ago as one of the happiest times of my life. My husband and two babies in our tiny beach house, overwhelmed, but in love. 

As I sit here two years later, snuggling with my two year olds in our much bigger house in the city, I can honestly say I'm just as happy if not happier. Another joyful, indulgent holiday has passed and I can’t wait to see what 2012 brings. Now's a time to get back to me, to get back to normal, and while that does mean getting back on budget and back in shape, it doesn’t mean complete deprivation. So, the last thing I'm doing this week is setting up Auto-Delivery of Best of California Red & White Wine. Hey, that saves me money and time, and let’s be honest — at times my sanity!

So, what are you doing this January to get back to normal after the holidays? What rituals do you have in January that help you feel more like yourself again? What about this year, anything that'll make this year special? 

Happy New Year!

—Kerstin Lindquist